A co-parenting arrangement can already feel like walking on glass, but this one came with gasoline and a match.
A Reddit mom thought she had finally reached a stable rhythm with her cheating ex. Custody stayed equal. Communication stayed minimal. Exchanges stayed contact-free. It wasn’t friendly, but it worked.
Then her ex called with a request that stopped everything cold.
He didn’t ask for flexibility. He didn’t ask for help once in an emergency. He demanded that she babysit his younger child, the daughter he had with the woman he cheated on her with, three days a week after school.
When she said no, he didn’t stop.
He asked again. And again. He sent his wife. He guilt-tripped her. He involved their son. He even tried to get a lawyer to force it.
All while ignoring one crucial fact. This child is not hers.
The situation quickly spiraled from uncomfortable to alarming, raising questions about boundaries, entitlement, and how far some people will go to rewrite consequences.
So when the dust settled and the pressure kept coming, she asked Reddit a simple question. Was she wrong for refusing?
Now, read the full story:
This story makes your shoulders tense as you read it. Not because of drama, but because of the sheer audacity layered on top of emotional manipulation. This isn’t about kids bonding. This isn’t about kindness. This is about entitlement disguised as morality.
The OP didn’t lash out. She didn’t insult anyone. She set a clear boundary and held it while multiple adults tried to bulldoze it. What stands out most is how often her ex ignored the word “no,” then escalated. Involving lawyers. Involving a child. Showing up uninvited.
That’s not co-parenting. That’s pressure. And pressure like this rarely stays harmless.
This situation revolves around boundaries, parental responsibility, and coercive behavior in post-separation relationships.
Family law experts consistently emphasize that co-parenting does not mean co-raising new partners’ children. Each parent remains legally and morally responsible only for their own child.
According to the American Bar Association, a parent has no legal duty to provide care or support for a former partner’s subsequent children unless a formal guardianship or agreement exists.
The ex’s repeated attempts to force childcare cross a critical line.
Mental health professionals often describe this behavior as boundary erosion. It begins with requests, escalates to guilt, then shifts into pressure or intimidation when refusal persists.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in toxic relationships, explains that ignoring repeated refusals signals entitlement rather than misunderstanding.
Another serious concern is parental manipulation.
Involving a child to pressure the other parent can qualify as emotional coercion. Courts often view this behavior unfavorably because it places a child in adult conflict.
The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges warns that using children as messengers or leverage can constitute emotional harm.
Several Redditors correctly noted a legal risk. If OP agreed to babysit regularly, she could become vulnerable to false claims, liability issues, or custody disputes. Even unproven allegations could complicate future court proceedings.
Family law attorneys often advise against informal childcare arrangements with high-conflict ex-partners for this exact reason. The guilt-tripping involving miscarriages and stillbirths also deserves attention.
Grief does not entitle someone to others’ labor. Psychologists agree that unresolved grief can sometimes manifest as entitlement or desperation, especially when combined with financial stress.
Still, responsibility remains with the parents of the child. Perhaps the most alarming element is the threat to show up uninvited. That behavior borders on harassment.
When a parent continues unwanted contact after clear refusals, legal experts often recommend documenting everything and seeking a court order to limit communication to parenting matters only.
The OP already took the safest steps. She used a parenting app. She documented refusals. She involved her attorney. She avoided emotional escalation. Her refusal protects her emotional health and her son’s stability.
The core lesson here is simple. Boundaries protect everyone, including children. This request was never reasonable. And refusing it was not cruel. It was necessary.
Check out how the community responded:
Most Redditors firmly backed OP and called the request outrageous and inappropriate.
Others warned about legal and custody risks if OP gave in.
Several commenters highlighted the entitlement and lack of accountability.
This story isn’t about refusing to help a child. It’s about refusing to accept responsibility for a situation you did not create.
The OP did not abandon her role as a mother. She protected it. She kept her son out of a conflict that his father repeatedly tried to drag her into.
Healthy co-parenting requires respect. It requires listening when someone says no. It requires understanding that consequences don’t disappear just because life feels inconvenient.
Her ex didn’t want cooperation. He wanted control. And when control failed, he escalated. Refusing to babysit wasn’t selfish. It was protective.
So here’s the real question.
At what point does “doing it for the kids” become a way to exploit someone’s boundaries? And how often do people confuse entitlement with morality? What would you have done?
