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Exhausted Night-Shift Worker Kicks Out Sister For Refusing To Respect Her Sleep Schedule

by Layla Bui
November 11, 2025
in Social Issues

Sleep is sacred, especially for someone who works nights caring for vulnerable adults. But for one exhausted woman, her home became a battleground when her sister refused to respect her need for daytime quiet. What began as a temporary act of generosity turned into a family feud over boundaries, respect, and responsibility.

This Redditor shared how she opened her doors to help her sister and her boyfriend get back on their feet. Instead, she got sleepless days, slammed doors, and blaring TV marathons. When she finally asked them to move out, the backlash was louder than the noise that started it all.

Night-shift worker kicks out sister and boyfriend for ignoring her sleep schedule

Exhausted Night-Shift Worker Kicks Out Sister For Refusing To Respect Her Sleep Schedule
not the actual photo

'AITA for kicking my sister and her boyfriend out because they don’t respect my sleep schedule?'

My (34/f) sister (27/f) and her boyfriend (28/m) moved in with me at the end of August

after he was laid off from work (she doesn’t make enough to pay rent on her own).

The agreement was for them to stay at my apartment through the holidays so they could save up money and he could find a new job.

All they’d have to contribute is $500 for rent and food.

He has done his part and found a new job and they have been saving money for their move,

which is part of the reason why I feel like I might be TA here.

I work graveyard in a small group home for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

I cannot sleep at work because I’m the only one there and I have to be awake in case one of our residents needs me or there’s an emergency.

I spend my time at work cleaning, doing documentation, changing people’s depends, making their meals for the next day,

and giving a few of them their showers in the morning. Needless to say, I have to stay awake and alert the entire time I’m there.

My sister has a difficult time understanding that I need my place to be reasonably quiet during the day so I can get my sleep.

I could understand some normal amount of noise, but she took it over the top.

Laughing obnoxiously loud; blasting her music or TV in the living room (right next to my bedroom);

having loud guests over; being very loud in the bathroom and kitchen, etc….

I asked very nicely many times to please keep it down, and she always apologized and said okay.

But then she started to make it my problem and said I should buy noise-cancelling headphones or sleep at my boyfriend’s place instead.

I finally got upset and told her they’re being allowed to stay with me as guests

and if she can’t act as such then they need to find somewhere else to stay.

She spent the rest of the day calling all her friends and everyone in our family telling them how horrible I am for threatening to kick them out.

Our parents reached out to me and asked if that was true. I told them the situation and they’re on my side,

but said I should give them the month to figure things out.

I called and spoke with her boyfriend and he felt genuinely bad about the situation and had no idea this was an issue.

I try not to bring him into things, but figured since this would affect him, it was only right.

Now she’s even more furious with me because I “went behind her back” and called him and “manipulated” him into being on my side.

I told her look, I will give them until November 1st to figure something out,

and he even said it probably wouldn’t even be that long as they could go stay with his parents,

but my sister is choosing to die on this hill and make me out to be the villain when all I wanted was some quiet so I could function at...

AITA for kicking them out? I do feel bad because her boyfriend is doing what he can and is being reasonable.

I just don’t understand why my sister can’t comprehend that I can’t sacrifice my sleep and put my livelihood at risk. Thoughts?

This situation touches on something many adults quietly struggle with: balancing compassion for family with the need to protect one’s mental and physical health. The core emotional dynamic here isn’t hostility but exhaustion.

According to Dr. Shelby Harris, a behavioral sleep medicine specialist and author of The Women’s Guide to Overcoming Insomnia, sleep deprivation isn’t just about being tired; it’s about cognitive impairment, emotional volatility, and long-term health risks. When others dismiss someone’s need for rest, they’re often minimizing a serious medical and functional necessity.

Working a night shift means the sister’s daily noise isn’t just irritating, it directly undermines the poster’s ability to perform in a safety-critical job.

Family therapist Dr. Joshua Coleman adds that sibling relationships often carry an emotional residue from childhood, where one sibling assumes the other will always make sacrifices.

That dynamic seems present here: the younger sister expects leniency, perhaps seeing her older sibling as the stable caretaker figure. The boyfriend’s respectful reaction underscores that the issue isn’t about empathy itself but the sister’s unwillingness to reciprocate basic respect.

Sociologist Dr. Katherine Conger of UC Davis notes, in shared households, the key to harmony isn’t equality, it’s reciprocity. If one person sacrifices peace, time, or comfort for another, acknowledgment and restraint are nonnegotiable. The sister’s loud behavior, followed by defensiveness and public blame, violates that balance.

The poster’s decision to set a move-out deadline was a boundary, not a punishment. “Setting Boundaries Is an Act of Self-Respect”, according to Best Self Media. When someone ignores your repeated requests, enforcing limits is not cruelty; it’s self-preservation.

This story is a reminder that love doesn’t mean limitless tolerance. Families can coexist peacefully only when respect is mutual. Sometimes, the kindest thing one can do, for both sides, is to insist on quiet, literally and emotionally.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

These commenters supported the OP completely

lemon_charlie − NTA. She is a guest in your home, she needs to respect you and not invite people over herself.

The audacity in suggesting you stay with your boyfriend, effectively kicking you out of your own apartment, is staggering.

Her calling you out on contacting people about this is her throwing stones in glasshouses because she did exactly that to slander you.

You need that rest because your job has you responsible for people who are unable to do things for themselves (that and sleep deprivation is dangerous).

That trumps any of your sister's needs or wants in your home, or how her boyfriend is impacted.

If you're on a lease, what are the rules around guests?

Can you defer to that as a reason to kick out your sister?

FilthyDaemon − So she called everybody to tattle on you, but is mad YOU went behind HER back

and explained to her boyfriend why you were having them leave?

Yeah, NTA, and I think you know it, but also I think family dynamics may have your “normal” compass off here. You are in no way being unreasonable.

If I had to guess, I’d say she resents you or is jealous, and is finding ways to take those feelings put on you.

And has probably felt that your whole lives. Edit-a word

saintsgma − Retired RN. At different points in my career, I worked overnights.

The first time, I was young and living at home (with parents, four younger siblings).

I just about lost my mind with constant requests (examples: did my GF call?

Will you please listen for the Sears repairman? Do you know where Mom went?)

I totally relate and your sister is annoying, and honestly, putting your wellbeing at risk.

Being overtired causes accidents, poor performance and even poor health.

I had a meltdown at the dinner table that time (my dad was possibly the worst…)

But they got it, finally. Since your sister has chosen to not understand (because honestly, it’s not a difficult concept to grasp).

I would suggest calls to her several times a night, turning on lights through a mobile app, perhaps the TV.

The William Tell Overture blaring from Alexa about two hours after her normal bedtime…

or my late mom’s favorite Saturday call for wake-up (4 teenagers)— Mahalia Jackson singing Onward Christian Soldiers. NTA.

They highlighted the sister’s nerve in making outrageous suggestions like “go stay with your boyfriend”

Malibu_Cola − NTA. I can’t believe the nerve of your sister though. Telling you to buy noise canceling headphones, or saying you sleep at your boyfriend’s?

You’re being very generous to give them til November 1st. Good luck on these last few days!

Substantial_Glass963 − NTA. And the headphones or sound machine would be some steps you could take

to make it more comfortable for yourself, I don’t find it an appropriate suggestion here.

She should have cut out as much as she reasonably could and if it was still a problem with her just normal living sounds,

then the suggestion would be appropriate and probably would have been well received!

But it doesn’t seem like she tried to minimize noise at all.

Catblue3291 − NTA. Your sister is an entitled brat. This is your home and your rules. If she doesn't like it she is free to leave.

This group empathized through personal or professional experience

cassowary32 − NTA. Isn't she working? When does she find the time to be so loud and obnoxious?

Maybe she needs to find a second job so they can afford to move out quicker.

Unalimonagrio − NTA. I'm a doctor and I have had shifts of more than 36 hours,

I'd the person who doesn't let me rest after work, even my cats know how to behave and do their things quietly while I'm sleeping.

Shot_Western_2755 − NTA- I did overnights in group homes for years and it was brutal.

Sleep deprivation is real and if she can’t understand that then bye bye

These users focused on logic: the sister’s boyfriend already had housing options, and the sister’s stubbornness was self-inflicted

sammac66 − NTA, You did your sister a solid by letting her and her boyfriend stay at your place.

Sounds like your sister's boyfriend is a mature, reasonable person, but your sister sounds like an entitled inconsiderate brat.

You've done nothing wrong. You need to get your sleep. Why doesn't she go to her friend's house during the day to hang out?

She has Some nerve suggesting that you go stay with your boyfriends.

BadgeringMagpie − NTA BF already has a back-up plan. He won't be without housing.

If your sister doesn't want to go with him and abide by his parents' rules, she can find somewhere else.

Her lack of her own apartment stopped being anywhere near your problem when she decided "f__k you, I do what I want"

and started putting your job at risk.

The residents of the group home could also be at risk if your lack of sleep enables an accident that could have been prevented.

amymari − NTA. She needs to ask all these friends and family members she complained to if she can stay with them.

NumbersGuy22 − NTA and OP, I would print out a large copy of the definition of the word "entitlement"

and give it to her as the reason that you're telling her to leave.

It's obvious she doesn't admit wrong doing, but her problem is not yours anymore since she's not paying your bills.

What do you think? Should she have waited longer, or was this boundary long overdue? Either way, this story proves one truth: when people won’t respect your rest, they don’t deserve your roof.

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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