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Father Punishes Daughter After She Refuses To Delete Art That Doesn’t Include His New Family

by Layla Bui
December 28, 2025
in Social Issues

For many young people, art is more than a casual hobby. It can be tied to grief, healing, and identity, especially when it begins during a difficult time in life.

That is why this Reddit post caught so much attention. A 15-year-old shares how his dad went through his digital drawings and became upset over what they represented. Soon, files were deleted, backups were demanded, and punishments kept escalating.

The teen refused to comply, even when it meant losing access to his art tools. His father says the issue is about family and respect, while the teen feels his personal space was crossed. Keep reading to see how Reddit weighed in on this emotional conflict.

A teen defies a father’s demand to erase backups after personal drawings spark conflict

Father Punishes Daughter After She Refuses To Delete Art That Doesn’t Include His New Family
not the actual photo

AITA for not deleting all my backups of my art like dad told me to and letting him punish me instead?

I (15) like digital drawing a lot. My grandparents put me in art classes

when I was 8 to give me something to focus on after my mom died.

It really helped and I feel like I've grown enough to make it a job someday.

I already do some small commissions when I want some money. I keep all my stuff on my laptop

and I have it all backed up so I can keep it.

In November, my dad went through my laptop when I was in school and looked through all my drawings.

When I got home he'd deleted everything I'd made and he wanted me to delete all my backups that he knew I had.

What set him off was I had a folder full of drawings of family but none of them included his wife or my two half-siblings.

They got married 5 years ago and my half-siblings were born after that.

He didn't like how I could draw mom into a lot of stuff,

how I could include pets and grandparents and stuff, but not the blended part of our family.

It's not that I hate my dad's wife or my half-siblings, because I don't and I never did. But I don't love them.

I like them and care about them. I'd never want anything bad to happen to them.

But they're not new mom and full sibling level to me.

We get along fine but when it comes to my personal art I draw the things and the people I love.

Some stuff I do for others or for the art class but the personal stuff is personal.

I wouldn't delete the backups and my dad punished me. He talked to me after the punishment was up

and he told me it was time to delete them. Again I didn't.

My grandparents stepped in to speak up for me and my dad said they needed to stay out of it.

He blamed them for some of it. My half-siblings never did the one day a week with them.

Their mom was home and wanted them with her so it made sense.

But dad said they were taking my siblings and me for that one day made me think we were different to the halfs or something.

My grandparents tried to talk him down but he meant it when he said they had to stay out of it.

I still didn't delete s__t and I was grounded for three weeks because of it and it didn't make me give in.

So he decided to take my laptop and my art tablet and he told me I can't draw until I delete the backups.

He said I can get them back when I delete everything. He said there is no reason for me to have and keep art like that.

He said it wasn't a good thing that I'd drawn so much that it excluded part of our family.

He told me he wasn't letting me get away with it.

We're a couple of weeks in now. I draw a little at school, which helps me not go crazy without it.

I do miss drawing. But I'm not deleting stuff that means something to me.

I can survive three years of not doing it much. But AITA for not deleting it? My dad thinks so.

He said he didn't know why I was being so stubborn about this and why I was trying to hurt everyone.

When something deeply personal is taken away or threatened, it can feel like losing a piece of oneself. For many young people, especially those who have experienced profound loss, art becomes more than a pastime; it becomes a safe place to hold grief, memory, and identity. It is often the only space where emotions can exist without being explained, corrected, or judged.

In the Reddit story, the 15-year-old isn’t simply refusing a parent’s demand; she’s protecting a deeply meaningful part of her inner world. Her art began as a way to cope after her mother’s death, a space where grief could be acknowledged without judgment.

Her father’s demand to delete the backups didn’t just feel like a rule to break; it felt like erasing a part of her emotional history. This conflict isn’t only about obedience, it’s about autonomy and emotional identity during a sensitive developmental stage.

Rather than drawing the blended family, she chose to depict what she genuinely felt: love for those who have shaped her psyche, the people she truly lost and connected with.

While many readers may view her dad’s reaction as an attempt to unify the family, from a psychological perspective, it reveals a different dynamic.

Parents often want children to express inclusion as a sign of acceptance, but emotional acceptance can’t be forced. True emotional integration in blended families takes time, space, and mutual respect, not coercion.

Research supports the importance of creative expression in emotional processing. Creative outlets like drawing or painting help youth explore and express feelings that might be difficult to verbalize, aiding in emotional regulation and self-awareness without needing artistic talent or judgment.

On a similar note, clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., a respected expert on family dynamics and emotional development, writes that forcing a child to conform or suppress genuine feelings often backfires, slowing emotional growth rather than fostering it.

She emphasizes that understanding how children express internal experience (through art, behavior, or storytelling) can offer deeper insight into their emotional landscape, helping caregivers respond with empathy rather than control.

Applied to this situation, the technical act of deleting backups isn’t the real issue; it’s about validating emotional experience. For the teen, her art provides a non-judgmental space where she can safely navigate grief and identity.

Being told what she should feel undermines that process. At the same time, the father’s desire for harmony stems from fear of rejection and a wish for connection. These conflicting emotional needs aren’t uncommon, especially in families adjusting after loss and remarriage.

This is why a solution rooted in mutual understanding, not punishment, would be healthier. Encouraging open communication about feelings, perhaps with the support of a family therapist, can create space for this teen to express her complex emotions without fear. Rather than deleting memories, this family might find greater strength in acknowledging and working through them together.

See what others had to share with OP:

These Redditors urged OP to live with grandparents or seek custody/emancipation

Tribbles_Trouble − Can you go and live with your grandparents?

What your father is doing is awful and definitely won’t make you love his wife and kids.

I wish you the strength to keep your artwork even in the face of such adversity.

Finicky-phatgurl − You could have your grandparents petition for custody.

You’re old enough what you want would be taken into consideration.

If nothing else maybe it will scare your dad into realizing what he’s doing wrong.

CallingThatBS − Please let this be rage bait AI... but if not. NTA

Dad needs to stop trying to force you to have a relationship you don't have with stepmom and half-siblings.

He better wake up because he is just pushing you away and I am betting you go no contact as soon as you can.

I hate to encourage young people to leave their family, but if you are in the states, some states consider you an adult at 17,

then you could move in with your grandparents and he could do nothing about it.

You can also petition the court to become emancipated prior to that.

I don't think CPS is going to help; unfortunately, they have their hands full.

Grounding a child for doing something the parent doesn't approve of is going to be a low priority on their radar.

They are just too o__rwhelmed.

These commenters focused on hiding, backing up, and protecting OP’s artwork

EvilLynn511 − Please make sure to safe your art on various cloud storage,

such like OneDrive, Dropbox or Amazon Photos. Make sure he won't be able to find everything.

Maybe even store a hard drive somewhere. His behaviour is disgusting and abusive

Dranask − Create a new Google account and upload your stuff to it.

Or shove it on a USB and give it to a trusted grandparent.

This group labeled the dad’s behavior as abusive and encouraged outside help

YuunofYork − This is abuse. Demand an apology, involve the step-mom in everything

and get her on your side, and then blast him in public.

When your entire school wants to know why he confiscated drawings you did of your dear departed mother, see what happens.

Make it so every teacher's conference is the most awkward night of his life.

Anyone this stubborn and unintelligent doesn't deserve to win the sort of thing he wants from you.

He has to be an actual i__ot to think it could be achieved by force

or that taking your property wouldn't just push you further away.

little_light223 − Nta. Youre dad is sadly an abussive a__hole.

After this stunt, you would have every right to be angry and you should be. Im sorry you are treated that way

Warhammer517 − What in the actual f__k is wrong with your dad?

He's basically treating your mom like what George Orwell would call a "Unperson,"

and is punishing you for not toeing the party line and doing as he demands.

Like some other folks said, he needs to get called out for his behavior.

Future-Nebula74656 − Op NTA Op's dad. Major a__hole. Truthfully, I would be calling CPS for abuse.

You're not fitting into his perfect little idea of a family and he hates it.

And technically, they're your grandparents can sue for grandparent rights.

It's also not right that he does one punishment and as soon as it starts, another one. And then another one starts

These users warned the dad that he’s destroying the relationship beyond repair

Trick_Curve_1933 − NTA. “Dad, I need you to sit and think long and hard about what I’m about to point out.

Don’t argue, don’t immediately answer.

I really want you to think about this: what kind of relationship do you envision us having moving forward?

What’s the next step? Say, I do delete the backups of my art?

Do you think I’ll magically love your wife and kids? Or do you think I’m actually going to resent you all immeasurably

and walk out that door the minute I turn 18 and never come back?

I will have a funeral for you as though you died like mom and never speak to you again,

and you can look back to this incident as the reason why. But the choice is ultimately yours.

There is no going back from it. Like I said, take the time to think about it and the next step. ”

[Reddit User] − NTA and if my dad did that to me I'd tell him to his face that either he gives it back or he's dead to me.

donslipo − Your dad is doing the "Lose my child the day they move out Any%" speedrun, lol.

This teenager’s story strikes a chord because it’s about more than lost files; it’s about holding onto what represents emotional truth in a chaotic family world. When should personal grief give way to others’ expectations? And is asking someone to erase cherished memories fair or compassionate?

Do you think her dad’s demands were reasonable given his intentions, or did he cross the line by trying to erase her healing process? What would you say if you were in her shoes? Drop your hot takes and family wisdom below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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