Father Refuses To Help Son Buy Breakfast Before School, Tells Him To Stop Complaining About Hunger

Parenting often walks a thin line between teaching responsibility and showing compassion. One Reddit parent found themselves on that edge after refusing to increase their teenage son’s allowance, even though he admitted to going hungry during swim practice.

The post sparked a fiery debate online about whether the parent was being tough but fair or simply neglectful. Let’s dive into what happened and how the internet responded.

A father denied his swim-team son extra allowance for school breakfasts, insisting he eat at home or pack food despite early practices and hunger complaints

The Original Poster (OP) sets up a scenario where all children receive a regular allowance, but the 15-year-old son, who attends early morning swim practice and then goes to school, spends his allowance on breakfast and later asks for more because he is hungry.

The OP insists the son eat at home or pack something, and declines to increase his allowance. The question: Is the OP being unreasonable?

Firstly, on the purpose of allowance: Experts say that allowance is best used as a tool to teach adolescents money management, savings, choices, and delayed gratification.

According to psychologist Carl Pickhardt, the aim is for teens to learn budgeting and prioritising wants and needs.

Thus, from a financial-education perspective, the OP’s desire to keep allowance consistent and teach discipline has backing.

Secondly, on the needs of an adolescent athlete: Sports-nutrition resources emphasise that teens engaged in regular training have heightened energy and nutrient needs, especially when practices are early in the morning before school.

The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics (AND) recommends good quality meals, snacks or breakfast for active teens to fuel performance and recovery.

This suggests that skipping breakfast or relying solely on allowance-financed café food may not fully support the son’s needs.

Thirdly, the OP’s solution of offering breakfast foods at home (bagels, fruit, cereal boxes, etc.) and suggesting the son learn to pack a snack is practical and aligned with encouraging independence.

However, the combination of early morning training, then school, means the son has a legitimate requirement for accessible, nutritious food when allowance spending is expected to cover discretionary buys.

Advice to the OP:

• Re-explain clearly to the son what the allowance covers and what it doesn’t (e.g., “This allowance is for extras outside of school and sports nutrition”).
• Create a small separate budget or arrangement for sport-nutrition mornings: either breakfast provided by parents before practice or a fixed “sports food” allowance distinct from the general allowance.
• Work together with the son to plan quick, portable breakfasts or snacks he can manage independently, this supports both responsibility and his physical demands.
• Set clear boundaries: if breakfast or snack weren’t packed, then café purchase (with allowance) must happen, but he should understand that extra allowance won’t be added just because he missed preparation.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These commenters claimed OP was the jerk, emphasizing that the parent should guide the teen in planning better morning routines rather than punishing him

These users sided with the parent, arguing that the situation teaches accountability

What do you think, though? Was OP right to stick to the “use what’s at home” rule, or should they have been more flexible with the extra allowance given the demands of a teen athlete? Share your thoughts below!