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Father Refuses To Pay For Therapy After Grades Drop, Calls It A “Waste of Money”

by Annie Nguyen
December 14, 2025
in Social Issues

Parents often say they want the best for their children, yet the definition of “best” can look wildly different inside the same household. When stress, schoolwork and real emotional struggles enter the picture, the lines get blurry and some questionable choices start happening.

That is exactly what unfolded for one father who thought he had found a practical solution for his daughter’s ongoing issues.

His plan sounded simple in his own head, but it hit his wife and child like a tidal wave. The internet had plenty to say about it too.

What he believed would push his daughter forward instead sparked a huge argument at home and left him wondering whether he had crossed a line. Scroll down to see how everything took a sharp turn.

A father sparks chaos at home after cutting his daughter’s therapy over her slipping grades

Father Refuses To Pay For Therapy After Grades Drop, Calls It A “Waste of Money”
Not the actual photo

'AITA For cancelling my daughters therapy because she has bad grades?'

My daughter (14) had anxiety problems ever since she was little but it was not severe. 3 months ago, my daughter changed drastically.

She stopped eating, talking to us or her friends and her marks dropped.

We were really concerned and her teachers strongly suggested we take her to therapy which we did and she was diagnosed with severe depression and social anxiety which was expected.

The therapy sessions look like they helped her well, in the first month she already began making progress and started talking to us and her friends again and is eating...

We were really happy to see this and every day she would get better and better. The thing is, her marks did not.

They are terrible and she ended up barely passing the year. This is what infuriated me and made me cancel her therapy sessions.

I know to some it might sound terrible, but paying $120 per session and seeing no progress in her marks makes me feel like I am seriously wasting my money...

Not only that but since she really enjoys going to therapy I think telling her that she needs to get higher marks to continue

her therapy sessions will motivate her to study harder and thus score better marks.

My wife disagrees with my logic and we had a massive argument because of it which ended up with her saying

that she is going to pay from ‘her money’ which hurt me since I see my and her money as ours.

My daughter is also really upset on me and was begging me to keep her therapy sessions but I think I am going to stick to this plan. AITA here?

EDIT: I deeply apologize for my ignorant replies and for hurting so many people.

Please know that I had no intention in offending anyone and it was so upsetting to see how mental illness has affected many of you.

I hope you guys can overcome this one day. I have talked to my wife and her therapy sessions will continue.

Many parents genuinely want their children to succeed, but that desire often collides with fear and frustration in unexpected ways. When a child struggles, the instinct to fix the problem can be powerful, and sometimes the choices made come from a place of panic rather than clarity.

It is a familiar emotional truth for many families: love does not prevent missteps, and good intentions can still lead someone down a complicated path.

In this situation, the father was not simply choosing whether therapy was worth the cost. He was wrestling with two competing beliefs. On one side, he could see clear improvements in his daughter’s well-being.

On the other, he felt pressured by the absence of academic progress, something that felt more tangible and measurable. His frustration, though misguided, came from worry that he was investing without seeing the “proof” he expected.

Meanwhile, his daughter and wife were responding to the emotional message behind his decision, which signaled that her mental health support was conditional on performance. This clash reflects a deeper family dynamic: the tension between parental expectations and a teenager’s need for unconditional support while healing.

A fresh perspective emerges when considering gendered patterns in how stress is interpreted. Some fathers, especially in achievement-driven cultures, tend to equate improvement with output, believing emotional recovery should produce visible productivity.

Mothers, on the other hand, may focus more on emotional safety and stability before anything else. This difference does not make one inherently right or wrong, but it does show how two people can look at the same child and see different priorities.

What many Reddit readers viewed as cruelty may have felt, to the father, like firm guidance. And yet, intention does not erase impact.

Experts in adolescent psychology explain that recovery from depression rarely follows the linear pathway adults hope for.

According to Verywell Mind, academic performance often lags behind emotional improvement because the brain needs time to rebuild motivation, concentration, and executive functioning after depressive episodes.

This insight helps clarify why the daughter’s progress was meaningful even without better grades. Emotional stability must come first. When teens feel supported rather than evaluated, they regain the cognitive resources needed to reengage with school.

A thoughtful takeaway for families in similar situations is this: progress is not always visible, and healing often grows quietly before showing up on a report card. Parents do not need to be perfect; they just need to remember that support is most powerful when it is steady and unconditional.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

These Redditors called out OP for misunderstanding depression and dismissing his daughter’s real improvement

ivi15 − "She's returned to normal. " I don't think you understand how depression works.

It sounds like all you care about are her grades, and not that she gets to a better place mentally. YTA

[Reddit User] − YTA. “seeing no progress” are you serious? She’s healing from depression, talking to family and friends, eating: that’s the progress you want to see.

I’d pay every dollar I have to see my daughter heal and feel better, who cares about the grades.

Also, depression is not something you switch on and off, saying things like “now that she’s back to normal” clearly means you know nothing about depression.

virgo_em − YTA. When my depression developed during my second year at university, my grades plunged.

Bad. I’m an honors, straight A student and started failing several tests. I’ve been in therapy for a year and a half now and it’s the best thing I’ve ever...

The reason she’s opening up and becoming more social is likely a direct result of going to therapy.

Progress takes time, it’s very unrealistic to expect her to completely improve within three months a treatment. And the reality is, this will not motivate her to study more.

She i’ll spiral back to to where she was three months ago and all progress she’s made will be reverted. Put her back into therapy, please.

FaultyHandbook − YTA. Way more than just TA. Look, I’ve been on antidepressants for over 10 years, depression still interferes with my daily life.

I’m 32. You expected a 14 year old to bounce back just like that, something that no adult can do.

And then you went a step further and removed her support. You’re asking for something that’s impossible for an adult, never mind a 14yo.

Her grades didn’t bounce back because not only is she dealing with a lot, she’s behind on schoolwork.

You can’t suddenly get As when you’ve missed out on understanding the stuff that came before.

The answer here is to get a tutor to get her back on track and catch up.

All you’re doing is destroying her mental health further, destroying her chances of getting better in school, and destroying your relationship with her.

These commenters warned that canceling therapy is dangerous, negligent, and could push the daughter into serious harm

Cricket008 − YTA! Full stop. Taking away health care for grades isn't just an a__hole move, it is negligence.

By denying her therapy you are just going to make things worse for her, possibly cause her to backslide into depression and make her see you as the enemy since...

Under this logic, you keep her from getting chemo if she cancer or refuse her insulin if she had diabetes unless she got her grades up.

Mental health care is no different from physical health care. Also good for your wife in standing up to you and saying no to your a__hole decision.

She is a good mom who is looking out for what is best for her child.

TheWellIntended − "To some it might sound terrible" NO, it sounds terrible to everyone. Are you insane?

At least now we know why your kid needs therapy. Put her back in and apologize.

It isn't because you are pissed at her that you get to play with her mental health. YTA times 200

Hinataismyhero − Kind of concerned that an adult and parent would come to this conclusion.

Like, who the f__k uses good mental health care as a bribe for grades?

Also, who the f__k thinks intentionally deteriorating their child’s mental health will result in good grades? YTA. Obviously.

aprilthepotato − YTA- WTF OP This is so wrong and borderline abusive.

It is time that mental health is taken seriously and that your daughter's issues are treated accordingly.

Have you thought her grades are suffering likely because of everything she is struggling with?

When I was her age and going through my own struggles with mental health, I missed so much school but thankfully I had parents who prioritised my mental health

I am now a nursing student and I wouldn't be where I am without having learnt how to handle my mental health issues.

Please educate yourself OP so you can get your daughter the best help available.

cowzroc − YTA. Let me spell out how this will play out for you if you cancel her therapy. I was depressed when I was 14.

I ended up making two attempts on my life, and narrowly avoided dying the second time.

My mother immediately got me into therapy, and about a year later, things were much improved, but I still struggle with depression and, at times, suicidal thoughts.

My point is this: I got better because, despite my slipping grades, what was most important to my mother was me, as a person.

If you take away your daughter's therapy, there is a good chance she could end up attempting suicide and succeeding.

And if you think that your daughter's depression isn't that bad, then I'd be willing to bet you aren't watching her closely enough.

So if you're willing to bet her life, go ahead and pull the therapy.

But a funeral will be a lot more expensive than $120/week.

Smart_Club − Let me get this straight. Your kid, who has a known history of anxiety, had a bad episode of mental health, her life near fell to pieces and...

But you want to take away the one thing that seems to be helping her cope because she isn't a straight A student?

YTA I really feel for your daughter. Maybe consider a tutor instead of depriving her of good mental health.

This group insisted therapy is essential healthcare, not a bribe or punishment tied to grades

profmoxie − You cancelled your daughter's therapy that was helping her bc her grades were bad?

And you think she'll do better and improve her grades now? Yes, YTA.

bruuhh1234 − YTA. . wtf you’re using your daughter’s mental health as punishment?

[Reddit User] − YTA you're crazy you only care about what you daughter brings to you not her well-being. you can't be seriously this stupid and malicious to be asking...

capmanor1755 − YTA or you da troll. God I hope this is a troll.

bruuhh1234 − INFO: Would you withhold chemo therapy sessions if she had cancer? FYI, both illnesses could k__l her.

In the end, this post became a stark reminder that healing doesn’t follow academic timelines. The OP thought pulling therapy would “motivate” his daughter, but it only exposed how misunderstood mental health often is within families.

Once he saw the impact and the internet’s collective uproar, he course-corrected. Do you think the ultimatum was ever fair, or was it doomed from the start?

How would you balance compassion, finances, and expectations when a child is struggling? Drop your thoughts below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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