Friend Rejects All Advice Then Blows Cash, Man Says He’s Choosing Poverty

A Redditor’s friendship hit a breaking point during a heated talk about money.

Some friendships survive childhood chaos and still feel unshakeable. Others start to bend a little when the realities of adulthood come in, especially when money habits start crashing into each other like bumper cars. That is exactly what happened here.

The storyteller grew up poor along with his friend group. They bonded over shared survival and a rough past. Now they face adulthood very differently. One learned to budget and climb out of the financial mess. Another still spends impulsively, blames privilege, and constantly asks for help only to reject every bit of advice.

The final straw arrived when the friend bought decor and LED lights with his stimulus check while his bank account sat in the negative.

Then he planned to quit his third job of the year and demanded financial advice again. This time, OP refused. Things escalated fast. Harsh words flew. And suddenly the friend group began accusing him of being a class tr[xx]tor and a capitalist villain.

Now, read the full story:

Friendship gets complicated when the past bonds everyone but adulthood asks for different habits. Reading this, the frustration feels thick. OP tries to help, their friend keeps asking, then pushes the advice away. Anyone would feel drained.

There’s also the emotional layer. When people grow up in hardship, money can feel personal or even shameful. Advice can sound like judgment, even when it comes from someone who understands the struggle very closely.

This feeling of friction shows up often when two people grow in different directions. It hurts because the bond mattered and it hurts because one person feels stuck, and the other feels guilty for not sinking back down with them.

That sense of isolation is textbook, especially for adults who break out of generational poverty. It hits deeper than money.

Let’s look at why this plays out so often.

Money and friendship often collide because financial habits trigger old emotions. OP’s situation highlights the tension between wanting to help and feeling responsible for someone who refuses to take control. The core issue is not income but behavior. The friend wants comfort right now. OP wants long term security. These goals collide every time they talk.

Several studies show how poverty shapes decision making. A Princeton study by Mullainathan and Shafir found that scarcity narrows a person’s focus. People who feel financially insecure often pick immediate rewards over future stability.

This explains the new phone, the decor, the XBOX, and the constant job quitting. These choices give quick relief. Saving money provides no instant reward, so the brain pushes it away. The friend is not doing this to be difficult. He follows patterns that formed long ago.

Behavioral psychologist Dr. Karen Pine once said that emotional spending fills a gap inside people more than it solves a problem outside them.

If someone feels powerless, buying something feels like control. Losing that good feeling can trigger defensiveness when another person questions the purchase.

Financial therapist Amanda Clayman adds that shame can show up as anger. When people receive advice that makes them feel judged, they lash out.

This dynamic matches the story exactly. The friend seeks advice. The advice activates shame. The shame turns into anger and accusations. Then OP feels blamed for trying to help. Both sides feel unheard.

Another important point comes from social identity theory. Groups bond more strongly through shared struggle. When one person leaves the struggle behind, others may feel abandoned. The friend might interpret OP’s progress as betrayal. So the term “class tr[xx]tor” appears because OP broke the emotional contract built in childhood.

While this reaction is unfair, it makes sense through that lens. OP’s growth forces the friend to confront his own choices. That discomfort can create hostility, especially if he feels stuck.

So what can OP do without losing himself?

One step is to set boundaries without moral judgment. Saying “I won’t talk about finances anymore because it harms our relationship” creates space. It signals care, not rejection. OP already started this, which helps.

Another step is to remove the emotional weight from the advice. Instead of specific budgeting instructions, OP could say, “I support your decisions. If you want practical help, I can give it. If you want someone to listen, I can do that too.” This shifts control back to the friend.

Experts also recommend avoiding unsolicited correction during emotionally charged spending choices. If the friend buys something expensive, OP can stay neutral. Silence often works better than logic in these situations.

Finally, OP must let go of responsibility for the outcomes. People change only when they want to. OP gives solid guidance, but the friend still chooses instant relief. That’s his path. OP can care without carrying the burden.

In the end, this story shows how money becomes more than numbers. It touches identity, childhood scars, and emotional safety. The real conflict here sits deep inside the friend’s struggles, not in OP’s honesty. Growth feels lonely sometimes, especially when old bonds pull in the opposite direction. OP does not need to shrink himself to make others comfortable.

Check out how the community responded:

Many readers lined up behind OP, saying the advice was solid and the friend simply refused to grow. They pointed out that responsibility matters once adulthood arrives.

Another group emphasized the job quitting and impulsive spending. To them, the pattern spoke louder than the words.

A few readers didn’t sugarcoat their reactions and said some people hate honest truth when it threatens their comfort.

Money touches pride, fear, and identity. It shapes how people treat themselves and how they expect others to treat them. OP tried to lift a friend up, but the friend wanted comfort first and accountability later. That tension created the explosion.

Friendship survives best when both sides accept responsibility for their own lives. OP set a boundary to protect the bond, even if the friend reacted harshly. Growth takes courage. Sometimes that courage separates people who started in the same place.

What do you think? Did OP cross a line with the phrase “choosing poverty,” or did the friend need a reality check? Would you keep helping someone who rejects every piece of advice?