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Girlfriend Wants To Cheat If He Takes A Dream Job, He Breaks Up With Her On The Spot

by Leona Pham
December 6, 2025
in Social Issues

Work-life balance can be challenging, especially when a new job opportunity requires significant sacrifices. One Redditor, presented with a chance to double his salary by taking a job overseas, faced a difficult conversation with his girlfriend. Though the new job promised financial security, it would also mean being away for months at a time.

When his girlfriend expressed discomfort with the idea of being alone for that long, she took it a step further by stating that she might need physical company in his absence. This comment left the Redditor deeply troubled, as he felt it implied that she might be unfaithful.

After an emotional conversation, he decided to end the relationship. Was his response too harsh, or was it justified in light of her comments? Keep reading to discover how this situation unfolded and the fallout that followed.

A man breaks up with his girlfriend after she tells him she might cheat if he takes a high-paying overseas job

Girlfriend Wants To Cheat If He Takes A Dream Job, He Breaks Up With Her On The Spot
not the actual photo

'AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend because she literally told me she would chest on me if I took a new job?'

I know this is going to come across as first world problems.

I am currently at a job where I earn about $250,000 a year. I have an opportunity for a job where I will get $640,000 a year.

The caveat being that the new job is overseas. I will be gone for four months at a time instead of four weeks at a time.

My girlfriend is unhappy. She says that she doesn't want me gone for that long. That she will get lonely.

I tried to explain that I will only be doing this job for one or two years.

And that the money I make sets us up for a bright future. We can pay off all out debts. We can buy a house. We can travel on my...

She then said that she doesn't care about any of that and that if I'm gone for that long she might need company.

I didn't understand at first and I said that we could get the dog she has been wanting to get.

She said she meant human company.

I said that she had lots of company at work and at school and she was welcome to use our place to socialize all she wanted.

She then spelled it out because I was stupid to think she was a decent human.

She said that she wasn't going to go for months without s__. I said I completely understood and broke up with her.

She is going crazy right now. She is at her sister's house and calling me and texting constantly.

She says that I misunderstood and that she would never cheat on me.

Like I said I'm gone for a month at a time now so I'm pretty sure she's been "lonely" before.

I can't trust her and I'm not going to try and build a future with someone who can't think about plans.

In many relationships, the promise of building a future together carries weight, security, shared goals, a comfortable life. That hope makes decisions easier. But when one partner signals they might betray trust because of temporary distance, everything changes.

In this story, the OP faced a stark choice: accept a high‑paying job overseas, creating long stretches apart, or stay in the relationship. On hearing his girlfriend admit she might cheat if he was gone too long, he opted to break up. That decision speaks to something bigger than money or geography: trust and emotional alignment.

Why the hurt was real

Long‑distance relationships often intensify existing insecurities. As outlined in one article from Psychology Today, being apart removes many everyday reassurances, closeness, shared routines, and physical presence, and heightens the potential for misunderstanding, loneliness, and emotional drift.

When a partner openly admits they may seek “human company” during separation, that triggers deep alarm bells. Emotional and physical fidelity are at the core of most committed relationships; undermining that even hypothetically damages trust.

Furthermore, experts emphasize that infidelity rarely stems from one isolated moment. Often it grows from unmet emotional needs, low self‑esteem, or dissatisfaction within the relationship.

If the girlfriend was already expressing doubts about commitment when faced with months apart, that signals emotional disconnect, not just a bad moment.

What psychologists say

Therapists commonly view infidelity (or threats of infidelity) as a red flag indicating deeper issues. In many cases, cheating arises not only from opportunity but from persistent emotional or relational deficits: lack of intimacy, feeling unfulfilled, or seeking validation outside the relationship.

In long-distance partnerships, these risks are amplified: reduced physical contact, fewer shared experiences, and increased reliance on emotional resilience.

Unless both partners share similar goals and stable trust foundations, long separations often become stress tests.

Why OP’s choice makes sense and what it reveals

Given that background, OP’s breakup isn’t necessarily harsh; it may be wise. His girlfriend’s admission of likely infidelity undermined any foundation of trust. Even if she later tried to backtrack, the seed of doubt had already been planted. In relationships where future plans include big life changes, unpredictable behavior and emotional fragility can jeopardize everything.

Choosing to walk away preserved his integrity, protected his emotional well-being, and avoided building a future on shaky ground. He prioritized alignment between words and values and that’s a rational, self‑respecting response.

This isn’t about “first‑world problems.” It’s about recognizing that relationships are built on trust, respect, and shared commitment. Money and opportunity matter but only when both people are willing to steward the bond, especially through challenges like distance.

If you ever find yourself evaluating a relationship under similar circumstances, ask honest questions. Are both partners aligned emotionally? Do both envision the future the same way? Is the trust mutual? If answers are uncertain, it may be kinder to choose clarity over comfort.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

This group of Redditors found the situation humorous, with some offering playful commentary about OP’s newfound opportunities

josrios3 − Bro for $600K I'd be faithful to you!

Mr_Coco1234 − GF: If you choose the job, I'll choose human contact.

OP: Okay you do that because I'm breaking up. GF: Surprised Pikachu Face. What did she think would happen? NTA.

RandomReddit9791 − NTA. Either she genuinely meant what she said and she'd cheat or she tried to emotionally manipulate you.

Either way, she showed you her true colors and its great that you walked away. Congrats on your new opportunity.

Acct_For_Sale − Dude, you’re about to pull $640k/yr…I’m a dude but f__k it I’ll be your girlfriend

These commenters acknowledged that while the girlfriend’s reaction was problematic, her concerns about long-term separation and emotional intimacy were valid

stargal81 − It sounds like she hasn't been happy with the current arrangement, so being away for longer will only make her more miserable.

People are missing that you'll be gone "4 months at a time, for 1 or 2 yrs", which we all know probably means for longer than that.

Some things are worth more than money. Like companionship, intimacy, love.

And yes, most happy relationships include a healthy, active s__ life.

She probably doesn't want to keep putting her life & future on hold because her partner is barely present.

What if she wants to get married, have kids, settle down? Have you made a commitment to her?

Have you talked about getting engaged in the near future?

How does she know it will be worth all the sacrifice in the end? People get lonely.

And the only thing worse than being alone, is being in a relationship & still feeling alone.

At this point, you have different life goals, & are incompatible.

It's for the best that the relationship ended, as hard as that may feel right now. You're NTA, but neither is she.

ETA no one seems to bring up if he will also be going without s__ for 4 months at a time, for 2 yrs.

God knows what he'll be doing with all his free time when his gf is nowhere near him.

He seems fixated on the idea that as long as he pays her student loans, she should be grateful to be locked into a sexless relationship.

Valuable-News7749 − Possible counter point. Might have been less of a "I need s__ and will cheat on you"

and more "I don't love the idea of not having a close, intimate relationship for long stretch at a time".

Some people struggle way more then other in long distance type relationships.

I'm personally more introvetered/loner-y but my old roomate would get sad when her bf was away for a couple of days.

Peoples relationships with their partners is different from freinds which is different from family, etc etc.

Intimate closeness with your partner doesn't just refer to s__ but just romantic/s__ual closeness in general.

So yeah she might be a cheater in which case you did good to leave asap, but it's not the only possibility.

This group encouraged OP to firmly close the chapter with the girlfriend, stressing the importance of moving on for personal growth

Teufelhunde5953 − You have already cut the cord. Leave it flying in the breeze and do not attempt to reconnect it. Block immediately....

SnoopyisCute − NTA for following Dr. Maya's Angelou's sound advice.

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them". Good luck with your new job and leaving without any burdens.

KurtyVonougat − NTA. But, I also can't imagine just telling my partner, "Hey, I'm completely changing our entire lifestyle for a couple of years,

maybe more depending on how I feel. That's okay, right?" I wouldn't be with someone who left for 4 months out of the year.

She should have just broken up with you when you made it clear that's what you wanted.

United-Material6595 − Finally, someone on here who believes the person when they tell them exactly who they are.

kaz_8712 − I know this is out of context, but op, would you mind telling me what job/position pays that much amount and in which country? I am just curious.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Better off single if your going overseas, trust me. Something that, for example, people in the military learn the hard way. Its not easy.

KittiesLove1 − That reminds me a joke, a newly wed husbend tells his wife his rule - every night I'm going to the bar,

it doesn't matter if you're there or not-I will be at the bar!

And she says, I also have a rule, every evening I'm having s__. It doesn't matter if you're there or not, at night I'm having s__!

[Reddit User] − Neither are the a__hole. You can't assume a partner is going to be okay with you being gone 1/3 of the year.

And they clearly aren't gold digging because they literally spell out they don't care about the extra money and simply want you.

And you have an amazing opportunity to better your life and set up a good future for yourself.

You're just not compatible with each other. You both want and care about different things.

This commenter humorously questioned how OP could have financial troubles despite earning a high salary

Crispypiggy − I think the real question here is how the f*** you have debts when you earn $250k, what you been buying

In the end, the decision to end the relationship wasn’t easy, but it might have been necessary.

Do you think the OP made the right choice, or should he have tried to work things out? Was the girlfriend’s reaction a red flag, or was she just expressing her own fear of abandonment? Share your thoughts below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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