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He Didn’t Know He Was With His Friend’s Fiancé!

by Carolyn Mullet
December 15, 2025
in Social Issues

A night out with old friends should feel like nostalgia, laughter, and inside jokes.

For this 22-year-old Redditor, it became something no one expected, a moment that unraveled a relationship, exposed a four-year betrayal, and left everyone wondering how one stupid drunken scroll could upend a wedding.

It started innocently enough –  a summer back in town, a pre-wedding “girls’ night,” and too many drinks. Stories were shared, photos were shown, and one casual swipe revealed something the bride-to-be never saw coming: her fiancé was the summer fling this guy had been hooking up with.

What followed was shock, anger, and blame. In one loud, regrettable club moment, the truth came out in a way nobody planned. The relationship collapsed, the wedding was called off, and the OP has been left wondering whether he’s the villain in a story he barely wrote.

But when was the moment of blame justified at discovery or delivery?

Now, read the full story:

He Didn’t Know He Was With His Friend’s Fiancé!
Not the actual photo

‘AITAH for telling my friend that i've accidentally been sleeping with her fiancé?’

Hooooo boy, that's a helluva title, I'm aware. I don't really know how to start this, so I'll just get into it. I'll preface this by saying that I'm (22M)...

For all intents and purposes, we'll call her Sienna (23F).

Now, after high school, I went to an out of state college, while Sienna went to the local uni. We kind of lost touch other than the obligatory "happy birthday!"...

so you can imagine my surprise when I got a text from my mom a few months ago saying that a wedding invitation from Sienna had gotten delivered to my...

Sure enough, a quick text to the lucky lady confirmed that she was getting married! Her longtime partner, "Marcus" (25M), had finally proposed.

A summer wedding right in my hometown, right when I (and some of our other friends) would be back in town from uni.

I was invited to one of the pre-wedding "girl's nights"—because my life is that of the two-dimensional comic relief gay side character, I guess—and we got wasted. Like, the kind...

So when the topic of other people in the #girlsquad's relationships came up, like the genius I was, I whipped out my phone to show them the hot guy I've...

......who turned out to be Marcus.. ^((K__l me now to save me from the mortification.)). Rightfully so, Sienna lost her s__t. Fair. No criticism from me.. But then she turned...

(FOR CLARIFICATION, because I'm sure this will come up in the comments, no, the wedding invitation did not have any photos on it. It was one of those minimalist designs...

Her socials only feature her. I had no way of knowing what he looked like.)

I don't personally think I was at fault here, but here is where I think I messed up: I very loudly, and to the entire club, drunkenly said, "It's not...

I feel absolutely awful. I don't want to be the other woman (technically guy, but you get it) and I certainly don't want to hurt a friend like that. I've...

When confronted, he confessed to not only hooking up with me, but also eight different guys over the course of their four year relationship. The wedding's been called off.. AITAH?

It’s impossible not to feel both second-hand humiliation and empathy. The OP walked into that club expecting a fun night with old friends, only to accidentally stumble onto the unravelling of someone else’s reality.

That mixture of embarrassment, regret, and emotional collision is something many people have feared, saying something they wish they could take back, in a room full of witnesses.

At the same time, Sienna’s reaction is grounded in real emotional pain. Discovering betrayal is a shock even when handled privately, and discovering it in front of friends feels like a betrayal squared.

This confluence of timing, truth, and delivery is what makes this story so raw, and why many people will instinctively feel for both sides: the accidental truth-teller and the friend whose expectations were upended in an instant.

This feeling of instant emotional unraveling is exactly what research on betrayal and trust shows – unexpected revelations often trigger powerful emotional responses, especially when tied to deep personal investment and public contexts.

Relationships are built on trust, which seems obvious until that trust is breached. Infidelity, whether emotional or physical, strikes at the core of trust and often leads to relationship breakdown. Research shows infidelity is relatively common and has profound consequences for both partners. In Western culture, infidelity often leads to severe hurt and can damage a relationship to the point of its demise.

According to data compiled from the National Institutes of Health, infidelity is identified as a major contributing factor in about 88% of divorces when uncovered. These numbers underscore that when loyalty is broken, many relationships collapse under the emotional load.

Infidelity doesn’t just break couples apart. It erodes self-esteem, flattens trust, and often leads to anxiety and depression among betrayed partners. Betrayal trauma studies suggest that sudden exposure to infidelity, especially when unexpected, emits shock, disbelief, and emotional unraveling similar to trauma.

This situation brings together two powerful forces: the act of infidelity itself and the way it was discovered. Each carries its own emotional weight, but together they escalate pain. Research on how people react to partner infidelity highlights that common responses include intense negative emotions, humiliation, termination of the relationship, and a desire for clarity.

Infidelity can take many forms. Some people assume it only includes physical contact outside the relationship. Others expand the definition to emotional betrayal or secrecy. Regardless of how it manifests, infidelity consistently damages trust. Sources note that the effects can be long lasting, leading to decreased self-worth and difficulty trusting future partners.

For Sienna, discovering multiple partners where only one was believed to exist was compounded by how the truth emerged. Instead of a controlled, private conversation, the revelation happened publicly, in front of peers during a celebratory night.

Disclosure after infidelity is a psychological process. A trauma-informed approach to disclosure emphasizes clear, compassionate communication that minimizes further harm. But accidental revelations, like those that occur in public or unexpected settings, often lack the emotional framing needed for healing.

Dr. Robin Stern, co-director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, notes that “discovery of betrayal is not just a cognitive event but a relational trauma that affects a person’s ability to feel safe in relationships.” Processing this kind of shock requires space, intentional support, and time.

Practical Advice for Similar Situations:

Understand Intent Versus Impact: The OP did not intend to hurt Sienna. But delivery matters. When painful truths are revealed in emotionally charged spaces, even accidental disclosures can feel like blows. Intent and impact operate on different emotional planes.

Respect Emotional Processing: Sienna’s reaction is rooted in emotional devastation, not logic. Allowing space, validating her feelings, and avoiding pressure for immediate reconciliation may help long-term healing.

Seek Private Conversations When Possible: If painful information must be shared, a private setting with empathy can reduce shame and defensiveness. Accidental public exposure, especially with alcohol involved, removes this gentle buffer.

Support Both Sides Individually: Whether through therapy or trusted confidants, both betrayed partners and accidental truth-tellers may benefit from emotional processing outside the immediate conflict.

Truth does not hurt because it exists. It hurts because it destroys expectations, reveals discrepancies between belief and reality, and forces emotional reckoning. In this case, the OP did not set out to reveal infidelity. The truth was already there.

The accident was not just in the hookup. It was in how and when those layers of reality collided.

Check out how the community responded:

Support for the OP and rejection of blame: These commenters insist the OP had no way of knowing and highlight that Marcus was the real problem.

phyrsis - NTA, because how were you to know? I do feel sorry for Sienna, though.

[Reddit User] - When confronted, he confessed to not only hooking up with me, but also eight different guys over the course of their four year relationship. The wedding’s been...

She’s just upset now, but I hope that someday she realizes it was all for the best. NTA.

MizzyvonMuffling - She needs a scapegoat for her pain and betrayal and you were sitting right there. What you said might’ve been a bit “over the top” but the truth...

[Reddit User] - NTA. Dude likes dudes. Which is fine. Although he’s a piece of s__t for cheating. I would have died if I heard that in a bar though....

Empathetic nuances about delivery and shock: These commenters point out that the club context added to the pain and suggest understanding for Sienna’s reaction.

Efficient_Poetry_187 - NTA but I would give her some grace. Put yourself in her shoes - she was celebrating her engagement with friends only to find out, in front of...

I know you didn’t know who he was but that doesn’t take away from her shock, pain and embarrassment.

thejackalreborn - I very loudly, and to the entire club, drunkenly said, “It’s not my fault your cheating fiancé likes getting his back blown out, Sienna!”

Yeah you shouldn’t have said this but this is just a drop in the ocean of her problems right now so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I don’t...

Turbulent_Ebb5669 - Maybe, eventually, she’ll thank you for the heads up.

Reality-check comments focusing on risks and follow-up: These comments highlight testing and reflection on exposure and confrontation.

[Reddit User] - It would have killed you to let him build you an art room and drag this out for years?

aasyam65 - She needs to get tested for diseases if she thought they were monogamous.

This story captures how messy truth can be when it intersects with expectation, timing, and emotional investment. The OP did not set out to destroy a friendship or a wedding. He shared an experience that unknowingly matched someone else’s secret life.

Infidelity, while common, always carries emotional weight. Being blindsided by it in a public, celebratory setting makes the pain deeper and more immediate. Yet, accidental disclosure does not equal malicious intent.

At the end of the day, healing from betrayal, whether accidental or intentional, requires space, clarity, and empathy. It is possible that with time and understanding, all parties might find closure separate from the immediate shock.

So let me ask you: when painful truths emerge unexpectedly, does who reveals them matter? And can compassion coexist with accountability in situations like this?

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet is in charge of planning and content process management, business development, social media, strategic partnership relations, brand building, and PR for DailyHighlight. Before joining Dailyhighlight, she served as the Vice President of Editorial Development at Aubtu Today, and as a senior editor at various magazines and media agencies.

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