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He Promised Her a Perfume, Gave Her a Body Spray, and Blamed Her for the Lie

by Sunny Nguyen
November 4, 2025
in Social Issues

A 21-year-old college student worked hard and saved diligently for months to buy herself a luxury perfume for her birthday. When she told her boyfriend about her plan, he insisted on buying it for her, repeatedly lying that he had already purchased and wrapped the expensive gift.

Trusting him, she spent her savings on a fun birthday celebration.

The resulting gift—a cheap bath bomb and body spray, was bad enough. But the boyfriend’s reaction, calling her a “spoiled brat” and siccing his mother on her, exposed the lie as a massive red flag.

Now, read the full story:

He Promised Her a Perfume, Gave Her a Body Spray, and Blamed Her for the Lie
Not the actual photo

AITA for calling my boyfriend a lying POS for not buying me the perfume I wanted for my birthday?

I (21f) am really into beauty (makeup, skincare, perfumes, etc) and collect perfumes.

There’s one perfume I’ve been wanting for quite some time now but it’s been way out of my budget.

I’m a college student working a part time job at the movie theater which pays about 13 bucks an hour

and I have other priorities to pay for so it’s taken a while for me to save up.

I’d finally saved up the amount I needed and was planning on buying myself the perfume as a birthday gift (my bday was 2 days ago).

I told my boyfriend (20m) this and he told me to go spend my money on something else and he’d buy me the perfume instead.

I told him he didn’t have to considering it’s expensive but he insisted.

A few days before my birthday I asked him if he was sure about buying it and told him again that I had no problem buying it myself.

He told me not to worry about it and said he’d already bought and wrapped it.

I thanked him and figured since he’d already bought it that I could spend my money on something else.

I took my best friend and my younger sister out to a nice restaurant and to the movies after.

I wasted more than half the money I’d saved up but obviously didn’t think anything of it.

So on my birthday my boyfriend gave my gift and it was a body spray and bath bomb.

I asked him what happened to the perfume and he told me it was a lot more expensive than he’d expected and way out of his budget.

I got mad at him and asked him why he lied to me and told me to waste my money on something else

when he could have easily told me he couldn’t afford it and I’d have bought it myself.

He called me a spoiled brat and said I was expecting too much from him. I called him a piece of lying [crap] and left after that.

I got a few texts from him and his friends calling me names and saying I’m using him for money (??).

I also got a text from his mom, who I had a great relationship with, calling me childish for throwing temper tantrums when I don’t get my way.

I honestly don’t see how I’m in the wrong here but I’m not the type of person to not say sorry if I am. So aita?

This situation is not about the perfume; it is about the deliberate, calculated lie that cost the OP her savings and her trust.

The boyfriend didn’t just forget to buy a gift; he actively discouraged her from buying it for herself, repeatedly lied about the purchase, and then waited until the last possible moment to reveal his failure. This wasn’t a mistake; it was a character flaw.

His subsequent reaction, calling her a spoiled brat and deploying his “flying monkeys” (his friends and mother), is a massive red flag indicating emotional immaturity and a refusal to take accountability.

The boyfriend’s behavior is a classic example of lying to save face, which then spirals into gaslighting and deflection. He was likely too embarrassed to admit he couldn’t afford the gift, so he chose to lie instead.

However, when confronted, he immediately attacked the OP, calling her “spoiled” and “childish.” This is a common tactic used to shift blame back onto the victim.

According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in narcissistic relationships, this type of behavior is highly destructive. She notes that, “When someone lies and then immediately attacks your character for pointing out the lie, they are prioritizing their ego over your feelings and the truth.”  

The involvement of his mother is perhaps the most concerning detail. A partner who immediately runs to their parent to mediate or scold their girlfriend shows a complete lack of adult conflict resolution skills. This dynamic suggests the boyfriend is still financially and emotionally dependent on his mother, making him incapable of being a true partner.

A 2022 survey by Pew Research Center found that a growing number of young adults live at home, but this living arrangement does not excuse involving parents in relationship disputes.

Check out how the community responded:

The entire community was NTA, focusing on the boyfriend’s repeated lying and his subsequent gaslighting.

[Reddit User] - NTA - he lied to you and promised something and then didn't follow through.

You gave him multiple chances to change his mind, he promised you it was "already wrapped" and got your hopes up,

caused you to spend the money you had intentionally saved up for this item,

and then acted like it was your fault you were disappointed and upset.

MxRead - NTA I was a little but ehhh at the headline. If I'm reading this right, you're not as upset

that he didn't buy the perfume as you are that he REPEATEDLY lied about it,

refused to acknowledge the lie/s, and had his friends try to harass and join the gaslighting.

cachalker - NTA. But it’s actually not about the perfume. You were willing to get it for yourself.

Hell, you even checked in again to make sure he was still good to buy it for you…

and he lied about having bought it already. So you did what he suggested and you splurged a little.

Redditors strongly advised the OP to break up with him, citing the involvement of his mother and friends as a major red flag.

CheckIntelligent7828 - NTA And please, please, don't stay with someone who thinks it's okay

to sic his friends and his mother on you. That's the most childish nonsense ever.

Holiday_Newspaper_29 - He told his Mommy and his Mommy called to scold you for upsetting her baby. ....? That's just sad!

Candi_Kane33 - Girl. I just knew I was going to be rolling my eyes the entire time I was reading. I don’t say this often, but get rid of him.

You gave him every chance to come clean. He chose to lie, and clearly waited until the last minute to buy your gift.

The community also praised the OP for standing up for herself and her financial choices.

QuinGood - NTA He said he would get you what you wanted and then substituted something else. And you're the spoiled brat?

Dump him. Save the money again & buy yourself some for Christmas. Belated Happy Birthday! Hugs and Good Luck

m3gah4rtz - NTA. Your bf deliberately lied to you, promising you something you had wanted

and could more than afford for yourself, and then was surprised when you reacted poorly.

Honestly? This would be grounds to break up; if he lied about a gift, imagine what other, more serious things he could lie about.

The OP was right to call her boyfriend a liar. He didn’t just fail to deliver a gift; he manipulated her into spending her savings so he could avoid embarrassment. The fact that he immediately recruited his mother to defend him proves he is not ready for an adult relationship.

The consensus is clear: dump the liar, block the mother, and buy the perfume for yourself.

Do you think the boyfriend’s mother was right to intervene, or did she make the situation worse?

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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