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Her Friend Mocked Her Pregnancy, So She Delivered a Comeback Nobody Expected

by Katy Nguyen
October 30, 2025
in Social Issues

Sometimes, people you’ve known for years turn out to be completely different from who you thought they were. The bond that once felt unbreakable can become strained when lifestyles, values, and maturity levels no longer align.

That’s what happened between two longtime friends when one of them, now pregnant after years of infertility, became the target of a cruel, unprovoked comment.

Stunned by the insensitivity, she lashed out, calling her friend a “coked-out loser” before walking away.

While her husband supports her reaction, others think she went too far.

Her Friend Mocked Her Pregnancy, So She Delivered a Comeback Nobody Expected
Not the actual photo

'AITA for calling my friend a “coked out loser”?'

I’ll call my friend Kate. We’re 32F. We’ve been friends since high school, though we’re not as close anymore, different interests, different places in life.

Kate has never left her parents' house. She works a lot, and parties even more; she’s often partying with people a decade younger.

She does c__aine sometimes, and it makes her quite verbally aggressive.

All of our friends are married, having kids, and she’s made comments when we’ve gotten married, such as saying she’s really not sure a couple that’d been together seven years...

She hasn’t ever truly been in a serious relationship. A lot of us have, frankly, chalked it up to jealousy.

I’m pregnant now, finally. My husband and I struggled with infertility for over two years. I am in my second trimester.

I got together with Kate and a few other friends the other day. I had a feeling she was on coke, just from her eyes (I don’t know if these...

She asked me out of the blue, “Will I be a good mom?” I said Sure. She started saying she knows she’ll be better than me.

That she’s more emotionally stable and I’m not. That she’s raised kids before (she worked as a nanny for a couple of years), and just not everyone is meant to...

She said if I am not ready for this, I shouldn’t do it. She said I have options.

I was in shock and beyond hurt. Kate is well aware that we’ve gone through fertility challenges and treatment.

She knows I’m thrilled to be pregnant. This conversation occurred completely out of the blue; we weren’t talking about my pregnancy at all!

I snapped and said, “I know I’ll be better than a coked-out loser who hasn’t left her parents' house.” And I left.

One of my friends texted me that Kate was very hurt and I should apologize. I may have gone too far, but I’m still beyond hurt by what Kate said...

My husband, who doesn’t enjoy Kate at all, told me I don’t need to apologize- he wants me to cut her off completely. AITA?

ETA: I do not believe Kate is addicted to c__aine. You guys know that kid in high school who would brag he had 472882 shots of tequila, followed by even...

That’s kind of Kate. You have to take what she says with a grain of salt.

This situation isn’t merely about a sharp retort, it underscores the complexities of adult friendships and the challenges of setting boundaries.

The OP’s response, though emotionally charged, highlights a deeper issue, the erosion of mutual respect and understanding in a relationship that has evolved over time.

Kate’s behavior, frequent partying, substance use, and dismissive comments about the OP’s life choices, suggests a pattern of jealousy and insecurity.

According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, jealousy in friendships often arises when one friend perceives a threat to the closeness or status within the relationship.

Kate’s unsolicited advice and belittling remarks about the OP’s pregnancy may stem from feelings of inadequacy or envy, particularly if she feels left behind as others progress in their personal lives.

The OP’s reaction, while harsh, can be understood as a defense mechanism against perceived emotional aggression.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone notes that individuals often lash out when they feel attacked or belittled, especially when the criticism touches on sensitive areas like fertility struggles.

However, resorting to insults can escalate conflicts and damage relationships, as it shifts the focus from addressing the issue to attacking the person.

In navigating such situations, it’s crucial to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. Dr. Sherrie Campbell, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes that setting boundaries is essential for preserving one’s emotional well-being and for fostering respectful relationships.

The OP might consider having an open conversation with Kate about how her comments have affected her, expressing feelings without resorting to insults. This approach can facilitate understanding and potentially mend the rift.

Here are the comments of Reddit users:

These commenters were adamant that the OP’s response was completely justified.

mfruitfly − NTA. Text that friend back, "I am also hurt that Kate would tell me she should make a better mother than me, infer I wasn't the type of...

My response was completely justified, and now I'm a little hurt, to be honest, that your text isn't asking if I am okay, not acknowledging how poorly Kate behaved, and...

Kate needs to be cut out. Coke, alcohol, living with the parents, partying, who cares? I have no judgment for Kate on her life, her plans, or her lifestyle.

But you do not need people in your life who pick at you and put you down, and also create tornadoes of drama wherever they go, and that is exactly...

She was mean for no reason. You matched her energy, now you have a friend texting you, you are writing on Reddit about it, you probably are thinking about it...

And you don't need that kind of energy in your life.

Filosifee − NTA. Your “friend” out of the blue says you’ll be a bad mom and you should abort, and then gets upset when you call her what she is?

Nah. I second hubby’s recommendation of cutting her out completely.

She’s obviously one of those friends that you’re only seeing because you’ve been friends for too long, and there wasn’t a good enough reason to stop being friends.

Now you have a good enough reason.

Useful_Experience423 − My response would be, ‘I’ll apologise for calling her a coked out loser when she apologises for suggesting that I’ll be such a s__t Mom I should abort...

Then let silence reign. Put your phone on mute for 24 hours and go do something nice with your awesome hubby.

These users echoed the sentiment that the friend was in the wrong, with some adding that the OP’s response was mild compared to what could have been said.

Cannabis-aficionado − NTA. Do you care she was "very hurt"? Wasn't what she said very hurtful?

Why are your "friends" asking that you apologize for your comment, but not asking Cokey McGee to apologize too?

lafoiaveugle − NTA. Honestly, I would have called her worse. Ignoring everything she might be (jealous, etc), her comments about you as a mother and taking care of the baby...

Has she reached out to apologize? Are your friends who say she is hurt asking her to apologize to you?

It may be time to consider what you get from this friendship these days, and if it's only situations like this, then it's okay to let the friendship end.

Friends for life rarely happen, and most friendships end without a bang. And that's okay!! Focus on your baby and husband, and life, and just walk away from this all.

Apologize if it will make you feel better, forgive her and yourself, and walk away from friends like that.

AilingHen69 − NTA. It sounds like you outgrew this friendship years ago. What she said was outright hurtful and malicious.

You should not invite her back into your life.

These Redditors were firm in their belief that the friend’s substance use was a major red flag.

Scr0tat0 − NTA. Your husband is a smart guy. You should marry him.

Maidenless_Knave − NTA. I usually read these titles, and my only question is: "Is your friend a 'coked out loser?' Your post says yes.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and listen to your husband about cutting her out.

She's not bringing anything positive to your life, and so she doesn't need to be in it.

ClipperSpencer − Doing c__aine at a laid back hangout with your pregnant friend, means you are addicted to c__aine.

If this was a big party or even out at a club where the purpose was to get smashed then it would be plausible to be a social c__aine user...

alleycatt_101 − NTA, I would also cut ties with her. It's hard to be friends with someone when they just won't keep their opinions to themselves.

Offering a bit of empathy, these commenters highlighted how people often grow apart over time.

oiseauteaparty − NTA! !! JFC, you’re not remotely TA. Why are you still friends with this person?

You’ve obviously grown in different directions, and it’s okay to let those relationships that no longer serve you fall away.

Let this be one of them. Let anyone else who butts into this situation to advocate for Kate be another one. Good luck with your pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. ❤️

BarnacledSeaWitch − NTA, why do people feel the need to comment on other people's parenting skills before the baby is even born?

Sounds like she's jealous and was trying to take away some of your happiness.

No-Yam-1231 − NTA. The things she said were calculated to hurt; they really couldn't have been otherwise.

vee_vintage − NTA. Her comments were out of line and completely unsolicited.

I’m sure Kate needs help and addiction issues are no joke, but what she said to you was catty and downright toxic, and you don’t need that kind of vibe...

If you feel too bad, send her a text or a letter, apologize for what you said, and explain how what SHE said was way out of line, then tell...

EDIT: Also, I would question why that “friend” texted you, defending Kate and making her look like a victim, but not at ALL asking about you or showing any support...

[Reddit User] − NTA. Do you really want your baby around someone who uses c__aine? Cut her out of your life. She’s toxic to your family.

In a situation where emotions run high, especially around a sensitive issue like pregnancy after infertility struggles, the OP’s reaction was understandably harsh. Did the OP’s words cross a line, or was it justified in the heat of the moment?

Some might say the truth hurts, while others may argue that respect and empathy should have guided the conversation. What’s your take? Was the OP too harsh or just defending herself? Share your opinions below!

Katy Nguyen

Katy Nguyen

Hey there! I’m Katy Nguyễn, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. I’m a woman in my 30s with a passion for storytelling and a degree in Journalism. My goal is to craft engaging, heartfelt articles that resonate with our readers, whether I’m diving into the latest lifestyle trends, exploring travel adventures, or sharing tips on personal growth. I’ve written about everything from cozy coffee shop vibes to navigating career changes with confidence. When I’m not typing away, you’ll likely find me sipping a matcha latte, strolling through local markets, or curled up with a good book under fairy lights. I love sunrises, yoga, and chasing moments of inspiration.

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