Her Friend Tells Her His Grandma Died, She Responds With ‘Sounds Like A You Problem’, Now He’s Blocked Her

Friendship can be a tricky balance between humor and sensitivity, and for this woman, the line was blurred when her friend shared devastating news.

They had a playful relationship, often joking around with dark humor, but when he told her that his grandmother had died, her response wasn’t what she expected.

Trying to lighten the mood with an inside joke, she unknowingly pushed him away.

When it comes to issues in relationships and grief, timing and tone are everything. The original poster’s attempt to respond with humor to the news of her friend’s grandmother passing wasn’t inherently cruel, it seems rooted in the comfort of their usual banter.

But in this moment, the context shifted. The news of a loss invites empathy, vulnerability and earnest expression. Responding with “sounds like a you problem,” even as an inside joke, signals dismissal rather than support.

Research shows that humor in the context of grief is a complex phenomenon.

A qualitative study found that humor can act as both a grief trigger and a coping strategy for bereaved individuals: “Humor was revealed as a grief trigger for many participants, as well as a periodic way for most to cope or live with their grief.”

The same study also cautions that humor may be “untimely and unwelcome” depending on the person and the moment.

This is relevant to the friend’s reaction: though OP’s friend may have shared humor in their relationship before, in the moment of loss their emotional state had changed.

The joke that once signalled closeness now felt dismissive. It’s not that humor is always wrong, but when someone is grieving, assuming the “usual” response can backfire.

So, what should OP do? She should start by acknowledging the misstep transparently, a genuine apology offering empathy and recognising how her friend must be feeling.

Then she should wait for the friend to respond when ready, pressuring a reply can add further strain. In future, she can check in with: “I heard about your grandma, how are you holding up?” rather than defaulting to the pre‑set banter.

Finally, OP should reflect on the shift in the relationship, some dynamics change when one person is grieving, and adapting communication is part of being a friend.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These users suggest that the OP’s response to the friend’s sadness was seen as insensitive.

These commenters agree that the OP’s joke was in poor taste, especially considering the context of the friend’s grief.

This commenter highlights that the OP missed clear signs that dark humor wasn’t appropriate.

These users take a more balanced view, suggesting that both parties were at fault.

This commenter defends the OP’s decision to use dark humor, arguing that if the friend had said something similar in the past (about the OP’s dog), it should be fair game.

This user express disappointment with the OP’s choice of words, acknowledging that while it might have seemed appropriate based on past interactions, it wasn’t the right time for a joke about such a serious matter.

The OP’s response, though rooted in humor and an inside joke, clearly missed the mark in this situation. Death and grief are incredibly sensitive topics, and while dark humor may work in some contexts, it didn’t land here.

Is the OP’s friend overreacting by cutting ties, or was the comment genuinely hurtful, given the circumstances? How should you navigate difficult moments with friends, especially when humor and boundaries clash? Share your thoughts below!