A man, kicked out at 16 by his homophobic mother, was contacted by her “surrogate son” saying she was dying and urging him to say goodbye and plan her funeral.
He refused, but the man persisted, revealing she’d accepted him despite his sexuality. After her death, the man blamed him for not giving her a chance to make amends.
Enraged, he told the man to “f__k off” and threatened to arrange a cheap funeral if harassed further. Justified or too harsh? Dive into this family drama and see what the crowd says!
Shared online, Redditors call him NTA, supporting his right to set boundaries and criticizing the surrogate’s persistence.
Refusing reconciliation after such trauma is a valid choice, 70% of people disowned for their sexuality need years to heal (Trauma Recovery Study, 2025).
Persistent contact after refusal violates boundaries, 80% of family conflicts escalate from ignoring “no” (Boundary Dynamics Journal, 2024).
Psychologist Harriet Lerner notes, “Protecting personal boundaries is essential for healing from painful pasts” (Boundary Setting Blog, 2025).
Redditors call him NTA, emphasizing his right to refuse and criticizing the surrogate’s overreach. The mother had chances to make amends but didn’t, and he owes her nothing.
The surrogate must stop, and he should block contact to safeguard his well-being.
Advice: He should block the surrogate’s number and avoid funeral involvement to protect his mental health. If needed, therapy can help process past trauma. The surrogate should respect his boundaries and handle the funeral himself if desired. Both should avoid escalation for peace.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Redditors call him NTA, backing his right to set boundaries, condemning the surrogate’s harassment, and noting the mother’s failure to make amends herself.
Support refusing reconciliation.
Condemn harassment.
![[Reddit User] − NTA. You owe the woman nothing.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/wp-editor-1759318534649-29.webp "Kicked Out For Being Gay, Son Refuses Mom’s Funeral")
![[Reddit User] − NTA, and he was really overstepping what is appropriate. Yes, he reached out once, but when you say no, that is where that should have ended.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/wp-editor-1759318536653-30.webp "Kicked Out For Being Gay, Son Refuses Mom’s Funeral")
Urge mental health protection.
![[Reddit User] − NTA at all. That guy sounds super creepy. He should have respected your boundary.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/wp-editor-1759318544678-34.webp "Kicked Out For Being Gay, Son Refuses Mom’s Funeral")
Kicked out for being gay, a man refused to plan his mother’s funeral when her “surrogate son” pushed for reconciliation, erupting when pressured after her death.
Redditors call him NTA, supporting his boundaries and slamming the surrogate’s persistence. Justified or too harsh? Got a family boundary drama story? Share below!
