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Man Admits He’s “Not Attracted” to His Girlfriend’s Body

by Jeffrey Stone
October 8, 2025
in Social Issues

A movie, a blanket, and the comfort of each other’s company. But what was meant to be a cozy evening took a painful turn when a girlfriend, feeling vulnerable, asked a question that needed comfort, not critique.

In a small voice, she asked if he was okay with her body, worried about her flat chest after a lingerie shopping trip that had left her insecure.

Instead of reassuring her, her boyfriend gave an answer that landed like a slap. He told her he preferred “bigger boobs” and added that it’s why he liked her facing away during sex. His words crushed her.

She went home in tears, replaying every word, while he sat wondering if being “honest” was really worth the heartbreak it caused. It wasn’t just a relationship stumble. It was a moment that showed how the wrong kind of honesty can leave scars that love alone can’t easily heal.

Man Admits He’s “Not Attracted” to His Girlfriend’s Body
Not the actual photo

A Boyfriend’s Brutal Honesty Bombs a Sensitive Spot

AITA for not being attracted to my girlfriend’s body?

I made an ALT account to ask this, since a bunch of my family follow my primary one.

I’m also.. not completely sure of the rules here, so I’ll try to keep it as PG as I can.

So, me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 3 years. We have fun together, and we really care about each other. (just to keep it simple.

I will say that she’s the first thin person I’ve ever been with. She’s flat, petite and pretty short.

Most of the girls I’ve been with have been on the bigger side (in the good places) and I’ve always been a fan of ... well, a bigger chest size.

This all started when me and my girlfriend were watching Netflix a few nights ago and she randomly asked me if I was okay with her having a flat chest.

(She’s always been insecure about not having b**bs.) I asked why she was curious about this, and she told me she noticed that I never really had anything to say...

(and that day she had been trying on lingerie and none of the ones she tried on fit her in the chest region.

That kind of put her back mental funk where she thinks she’s not attractive if she doesn’t have a certain figure.) She said she was just curious.

I told her I had to be honest, and said that I’m not attracted to her chest size, and that I actually prefer bigger b-bs. It’s not a turn off,...

If I’m being honest, that’s why I usually prefer she faces away from me during intercourse.

She was quiet for a while, and then she said she was going to go home since she had work in the morning.

She texted me later on that night and told me what I said hurt her a little. She said we’ve been dating for a while and never brought this up,...

I told her I didn’t know what to tell her, and that I was just being honest (I was.). Am I being the a__hole here?

EDIT:. Here’s an update, for people who wanted it. Ignore if you don’t care, I won’t be mad:

It’s been a few hours.. I thought I should explain myself a bit more. I don’t know where to write this, so I’ll put it here for now.

I’ll say this first; I didn’t expect for the post to blow up. I mainly posted to get “validation”, and just to vent since I’m not able to IRL.

I’ve been reading through the replies and the more I read, the more it started to hit me. (The direct messages also.)

I mainly started to realize the magnitude of what I did when there were people that started to agree with me.

When people started saying that my girlfriend should’ve expected that type of honesty, lightbulbs started to click in my head. I didn’t expect there would be people that agreed with...

I know there’s quite a few people who are saying this is SHP, and pointing out flaws in my post. I’ll say that I wrote everything while I was tired...

and just wanted to get it out, so I’m aware not everything is coherent. I’m also aware people are assuming things about me and my GF’s relationship (but that’s what...

I’m aware I screwed up. I’m very much aware. I already texted my girlfriend that I wanted to talk with her when she’s ready to. I‘m going to apologize to...

I came to realize that my honesty can be toxic, to the point where it hurts people I care about. I want to work on this from this moment forward.

Since I know people are going to ask; Yes, I’m debating about breaking up with her. Mainly for her sake.

She really is a sweet woman, and she definitely didn’t deserve the psychological damage that this could have on her.

Relationships are different, and hard. I chose one that I had an instinct wasn’t going to work in the end, and I still went with it. That’s on me.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to get it through to me. Although there were quite a few who were... very aggressive and hostile than they needed to...

This’ll most likely be my last post since this is an ALT account and I have really no intent on coming back. But still, thanks.

Expert Insight: When “Honesty” Misses the Heart

Love isn’t about telling every truth. It’s about knowing which truths need gentleness. What the boyfriend saw as honesty was really a moment that called for care.

When someone opens up about their insecurities, they’re not looking for comparison or critique. They’re asking to be seen, to be loved as they are. His blunt answer turned her vulnerability into a wound.

Relationship experts often talk about the difference between truth and tact. Dr. John Gottman, a well-known marriage researcher, explains that “honesty heals when wrapped in warmth.”

His point is simple: honesty without empathy can destroy trust instead of building it. When people feel safe, they open up. But when they’re hurt, they shut down.

This situation shows what can happen when love loses its sensitivity. The girlfriend didn’t need flattery or lies; she needed reassurance that her body was enough.

Instead, she walked away feeling smaller, not just in her body, but in her worth. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the kindest truth is one that puts love before logic.

Lessons in Love and Listening

Every couple faces moments like this, where one person speaks too quickly and the other is left holding the pain. Studies show that body image plays a huge role in relationship satisfaction.

According to research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, nearly one in three couples deal with body-related insecurities that can affect intimacy.

When one partner is struggling with self-esteem, the other’s words carry extra weight.

The boyfriend may not have meant to hurt her. Maybe he thought being honest was the right thing to do. But words have power, and timing matters.

A little empathy could have turned that moment into a chance for closeness instead of conflict.

Saying something like, “I love you the way you are,” could have meant everything. Instead, his response created distance that might take a long time to heal.

How to Speak with Heart, Not Hurt

Experts often say that empathy should guide honesty in relationships. Before speaking, it helps to ask, “What does my partner need to hear right now?”

Sometimes the truth can wait. Sometimes it can be softened. And sometimes, it doesn’t need to be said at all.

Healthy communication means more than just being open. It’s about being kind. When love is real, it chooses compassion over correction.

The best relationships grow when partners feel safe sharing their fears, knowing they won’t be judged or diminished.

If you’ve ever hurt someone with your honesty, it’s never too late to repair it.

A sincere apology, paired with a willingness to listen, can start the healing process. Real love isn’t about being right. It’s about being gentle.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Many people sided with the girlfriend, saying no one deserves to feel small because of a careless comment.

[Reddit User] − YTA not for having a preference, but for this s__t: If I’m being honest,

that’s why I usually prefer she faces away from me during intercourse What the actual f__k? Has nobody on this sub ever heard of a little white lie?

malicism − YTA. You can't look at her during s__ because of her boobs? Really?

kearjoh88 − Wow YTA. You could have been honest and at-least a little polite about it, but nope, you said her small chest is the reason you have her face...

She has every right to be mad, just because you’re honest doesn’t make you less of an a__hole.

Others admitted they had made similar mistakes, thinking honesty would make them seem genuine, only to realize too late that it caused more pain than connection.

londongastronaut − So you'd tell your girlfriend of three years that you prefer she face away from you when you f__k because her tits are too small.

But you're protecting the internet's delicate sensibilities by censoring the word "boobs" on reddit? YTA for sure, fix your priorities.

You're so intent on not telling a white lie even when it deeply hurts someone you supposedly love but you're in essence doing the same thing when it doesn't even...

BSnIA − YTA. You were extremely rude and hurtful, and you've definitely furthered her insecurities about her body. Well done.

Brit_J − YTA. Not for not being attracted to her small chest - that's something you can't control.

But firstly for letting it affect you so much that you can't stand to look at her during s__ - surely just having a small chest isn't that h__eous,

secondly for telling her the way that you did, and thirdly for not even thinking of how much that would hurt , particularly about something you knew she was sensitive...

You should have focused on what you do love about her.

Some readers said the boyfriend’s bluntness was a lesson for everyone: honesty without empathy isn’t brave, it’s reckless. 

[Reddit User] − YTA. My reason is already here in another's comment. PS: UPVOTE THE S__T OUT OF THIS A__HOLE*

[Reddit User] − INFO. Did you actually tell her that it’s why you face away during s__ or is that you just describing it to us.

bigq30 − YTA. Just because she asked for your honesty doesn’t mean you HAVE to be completely truthful. Especially if you know that she’s self conscious about certain parts of...

You’re her boyfriend. You’re supposed to build her up every chance you get. Don’t make her think the one thing she dislikes about herself is also something you dislike. She’s...

You’re supposed to lie in that situation my guy. And if you’re so bothered by something like her lack of boobage that you can’t face her during s__.

Let her find someone who will make her feel like she’s 100% perfect the way she is. Do better my guy.

Final Thoughts

In the end, this story isn’t just about a careless comment. It’s about learning how powerful our words can be. The girlfriend asked for reassurance.

What she got instead was rejection disguised as truth. But from the heartbreak comes a lesson many couples can learn from, kindness is the real honesty.

Next time someone opens up about their insecurities, remember that how you respond can change everything. Choose words that heal, not ones that harm. Because in love, being gentle is never a weakness, it’s what makes trust last.

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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