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Man Distances Himself From Friend After Wife’s Fat-Shaming Comment

by Katy Nguyen
September 26, 2025
in Social Issues

A long-awaited dinner with an old friend turned sour when his wife called OP’s wife “fat.” OP, proud of his wife despite her post-baby weight gain, fired back to defend her, but the evening crumbled.

With no apology in sight, he’s ghosted his friend and might cut ties for good, wondering if he’s too harsh. Let’s unpack the drama and hear what the online community has to say about this stinging insult.

This Reddit saga blends body-shaming, friendship loyalty, and a husband’s stand for his wife. His silence speaks volumes, but is he the a**hole?

Man Distances Himself From Friend After Wife’s Fat-Shaming Comment

'Aita for distancing myself from my friend after his wife called my wife fat?'

My wife is not 'fat', but she has gained weight after she delivered our son, and she's still not fat or obese.

She used to be skinny, and we both think that it is actually a blessing that she has gained some weight.

A month ago, my wife and I went to dinner with my friend and his wife. We hadn't seen them in a long time, almost 2 years (he lives in...

We were enjoying our discussion about our old days, but his wife suddenly said that my wife has become 'fat' and they are going to stay in our city for...

My wife said that she doesn't want to hit the gym yet, but she said that if my wife doesn't hit the gym, she will gain even more weight and...

I interrupted her and said that my wife is not 'fat' and if she gave birth, and if she were in my wife's place, she would understand. Our little get-together...

I was offended and haven't talked to him since last month, and I decided to distance myself from him and his wife.

He contacted me and asked me if I took offense at how things went last time. I didn't reply back to him yet, but I want to maintain distance between...

This story centers on a painful insult and a husband’s fierce defense of his wife. The friend’s wife crossed a line by publicly commenting on OP’s wife’s appearance, especially post-childbirth, a sensitive time.

OP’s quick defense was admirable, showing deep loyalty and care. However, ghosting his friend without explanation risks escalating tension, particularly since the friend reached out to check in.

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Mutual respect is the cornerstone of lasting relationships” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). The friend’s wife’s judgmental remark was tactless and hurtful, and her doubling down made it worse.

The friend’s failure to prompt an apology, as some online users noted, suggests he’s complicit in letting the insult slide. Still, cultural differences, as one user mentioned, might explain her bluntness, though it doesn’t excuse the harm.

OP’s instinct to protect his wife was spot-on, but cutting off a long-time friend without a conversation might leave loose ends. The friend may not fully grasp the issue’s weight. A clear, honest talk could set boundaries and clarify expectations, preserving or ending the friendship on OP’s terms.

Here’s the advice: Send a brief message to the friend, stating the wife’s comment was unacceptable and hurtful, and note the lack of apology. Ask for a sincere apology from her.

Keep supporting your wife’s confidence, ensuring she feels valued. If the friend doesn’t make amends, distancing yourself is fair to protect your peace.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

The online community rallied behind OP, praising his defense of his wife and slamming the friend’s wife for her rudeness. They split into three groups: cheering OP’s loyalty, urging a clear explanation to the friend, and condemning the friend’s wife’s behavior.

Many praised OP for standing up for his wife and supported cutting contact.

PersonalityWinter442 − In a sea of useless spouses and partners here on Reddit, you are an absolute gem!

Your wife got herself an absolute keeper. And yes, if cutting him off or going low contact brings you peace, do it!

MistressJacklynHyde − NTA. That was rude beyond measure. You stood up for your wife. GOOD! Of course, someone would take offense to that.

Honestly, best to just let the friendship die at this point. If he doesn't understand that what his wife said was rude and hurtful, he's not much of a friend.

They are not your friends. They are judgmental AHs.

CharissaChar − NTA. You went two years without them, and you can go 200 more.

gringaellie − NTA. "Of course, I took offence and so did my wife. Your wife was incredibly rude to my wife, and instead of apologizing, your wife doubled down after...

I have no desire to ever be in your wife's company again, as she was judgmental and insulting towards a new mother. Those are not qualities I want in my...

Some encouraged OP to respond to the friend to clarify the issue.

ilovetab − NTA. Personally, since the 'friend' reached out, I would respond, but you don't have to if you don't want to.

I would reply, "Yes, we were very offended by your wife's remarks about my wife's body and weight. Whether she had a baby or not, it's extremely rude to comment...

Or something like that. I mean, what kind of person is his wife to say that to someone?

onedayatatime08 − NTA, but reply to him. Tell him the truth. "Yes. Your wife was rude, and her comments were unnecessary and completely uncalled for. I did not appreciate my...

A few highlighted the friend’s wife’s comment as utterly inappropriate.

thepolishedpipette − What they said is extremely offensive. NTA. But OP, I want to point out that you've pointedly said several times in this post that your wife isn't fat...

Your friends making comments about your wife's body would be offensive even if she were fat or obese.

frimrussiawithlove85 − Text back with well, your wife ran her big fat mouth, that’s why.

NTA, everyone knows it’s rude as f**k to call someone out on their weight like it’s totally not necessary for us fat people to know we are fat, we have...

Sweetcilantro − NTA. He didn't say it, but he also didn't get his wife to apologize.

You should probably give him at least a small explanation as to why you're icing him out, as he may think he shouldn't be punished for what his wife said.

Dry_Comparison_8497 − That is just unbelievably rude. Don't hang with people like that.

Relayer8782 − NTA. First off, it doesn’t even matter if your wife is “really” fat or not. That’s not really an after-dinner group conversation, and off-the-scale rude.

Mental_Ad_906 − I am so glad you stood up for your wife. Many Redditors in situations like these are asking, "Should I have said something?" or "Why didn't my husband...

Outrageous_Sky_ − Is his wife foreign? In some cultures, saying that is not considered rude.

Recent_Permission672 − You did the right thing. Your friend's wife is absolutely awful. She lacks being a decent person. Good for you for standing up for your wife.

Lucky_Log2212 − NTA. Just let him know you were offended and no longer want to continue the relationship.

Put an end to it cleanly. Don't avoid it, as you need to let them understand that their comments were hurtful and have harmed the relationship.

They need to understand that their words were not needed and show their lack of empathy. Then, go no contact. Best of luck, my friend.

OP wasn’t wrong to distance himself from a friend whose wife insulted his wife’s appearance, especially with no apology offered. The online community applauds his loyalty and urges him to explain his stance to the friend before cutting ties completely.

This story raises questions about respect in friendships and standing up for loved ones. Have you faced tactless comments from friends? How did you handle it? Share your experiences below!

Katy Nguyen

Katy Nguyen

Hey there! I’m Katy Nguyễn, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. I’m a woman in my 30s with a passion for storytelling and a degree in Journalism. My goal is to craft engaging, heartfelt articles that resonate with our readers, whether I’m diving into the latest lifestyle trends, exploring travel adventures, or sharing tips on personal growth. I’ve written about everything from cozy coffee shop vibes to navigating career changes with confidence. When I’m not typing away, you’ll likely find me sipping a matcha latte, strolling through local markets, or curled up with a good book under fairy lights. I love sunrises, yoga, and chasing moments of inspiration.

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