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Man Paid For Unemployed Girlfriend’s Everything, Now Jobless, He Asks For Shared Bills, She Upset, Quits Dates

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A jobless 28-year-old Redditor’s wallet took hits when his girlfriend kept picking posh dinners pricier than his grocery runs. Scraping savings after a month unemployed, he asked her to cover tabs or tone down the splurge, echoing how he bankrolled her three-month dry spell last year. She snapped it’s “not her problem” and she’s “not his bank,” then bolted home in a huff.

Reddit’s roasting the entitlement like overpriced steak, with users slamming her hypocrisy harder than a slammed door. Some hail him for holding the line, others say communicate softer. Fairness is frayed, fueling fiery threads on who owes what when love meets layoffs.

Man seeks bill reciprocity from girlfriend during unemployment, Reddit deems her unsupportive.

Man Paid For Unemployed Girlfriend's Everything, Now Jobless, He Asks For Shared Bills, She Upset, Quits Dates
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for wanting my girlfriend to pick up the bill or stop asking to go out to expensive places?'

I’ve been out of a job for a little over a month now, and it’s not looking fantastic as far as the hunt for another goes.

I have enough money to last a decent while if I budget it, but not if I keep spending like I’m making any.

My girlfriend keeps suggesting we go to really expensive restaurants, and today mentioned she got us reservations at a really upscale place near by. Frankly, I can’t afford it.

We normally do 50/50, but when she was unemployed for 3 months last year I paid for all our stuff and didn’t expect her to pay.

I brought up the money trouble and she got annoyed and said that it’s not her problem that I’m unemployed,

and I can’t expect her to just stop doing fun things because I can’t pay.

I asked if she could pay for me for a bit then and she got more annoyed and said that she’s not my bank.

I told her I’m not expecting her to pay by bills, but if she wants to do something expensive with me,

then she would either have to pay with me or go without me. She god mad and went home. AITA?

Financial ups and downs are common. They do affect relationship, without a doubt, but they should not be a long-term burden, as well as not breaking any. Which is why this Reddit story might leave you wondering the wrecking power of financial issues.

In this case, the Redditor’s simple request for reciprocity highlights a classic imbalance: he supported his girlfriend fully during her unemployment, yet she’s balking at even temporary help. Her annoyance at his budget woes suggests a “good times only” vibe, which isn’t sustainable in any duo.

From her perspective, she might see these outings as essential fun, a way to keep the spark alive amid his stress. But insisting on luxury without compromise ignores the partnership principle.

The Redditor’s ultimatum: pay up or scale down strikes as fair, especially since he covered her for months without grudge. It’s not about mooching, it’s about mutual support when life throws curveballs.

Opposing views might argue she’s entitled to her lifestyle, and he shouldn’t dictate her spending. Yet, relationships thrive on empathy, not entitlement.

Her “not my problem” line reveals a motivation rooted in self-preservation over teamwork, potentially signaling deeper incompatibility. Satirically speaking, if love were a restaurant, she’d be ordering caviar while he’s stuck with tap water.

Broadening out, financial conflicts plague many couples, contributing to breakups. A 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association found that money issues rank as the top predictor of divorce, with 35% of couples citing unequal financial contributions as a major strain. This Redditor’s story echoes that, where one partner’s hardship becomes a solo burden.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman observes: “When the masters of marriage are talking about something important,” Dr. Gottman says, “they may be arguing, but they are also laughing and teasing and there are signs of affection because they have made emotional connections”.

This insight from his longitudinal studies highlights how thriving couples maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions, even amid disagreements, fostering resilience over resentment.

In this Redditor’s scenario, the girlfriend’s sharp dismissal during his financial bid for understanding tips the scale toward negativity, lacking those connective sparks of empathy or humor that could repair the rift.

Applying Gottman’s research, drawn from observing thousands of couples over decades, the Redditor’s past generosity created a positive buffer, but her current “not my problem” retort risks eroding it, much like how unchecked negativity predicts relational downfall with over 90% accuracy.

It’s a reminder that true partnership isn’t score-keeping but actively building those emotional bridges, whether through a lighthearted compromise on dates or validating each other’s stresses.

To shift gears, they might experiment with Gottman’s “repair attempts”: quick affirmations like “I get this is tough, let’s brainstorm budget fun together.” Without such efforts, the imbalance could signal deeper woes.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Some declare NTA and urge dumping the selfish girlfriend.

squiggywiggle − NTA - your kindness and understanding is not reciprocated when the tables turn. Run while you can. All I see are red flags.

Mouse-in-Space − NTA- Mega yikes on your girl there. She sounds like a horrible person to spend your life with.

Sure its not her fault you’re unemployed but she should be helping you, not hurting you.

She’s the a-hole, an incredible selfish one at that. Kick her to the curb if she can’t be reasoned with.

Leftbrain-Kat − NTA. When’s the breakup?

Others insist her refusal to compromise reveals no real partnership.

DaiZzedandConFuZed − NTA. said that it’s not her problem that I’m unemployed,

and I can’t expect her to just stop doing fun things because I can’t pay. WAT? That's some backward logic if I've heard it.

You can't afford it. You literally cannot do these things, unless she pays. Your solution is perfect.

If she wants to do these things and not pay for you, do it alone.

ZackAttackIsBack17 − NTA. And from the sound of it, you’re not a boyfriend, you’re a sugar daddy.

If she won’t step up when you need help, that’s not a partnership. Sorry dude.

TheLoveliestKaren − NTA. Your girlfriend would rather hurt you (financially in this case) than do something more casual with you.

A partner is supposed to be someone who helps you when you are in trouble, support you through the things you struggle with.

You know this, you've done this for her. She is showing you that she is unwilling to be a real partner. Why are you with her?

Some highlight her selfishness as a dealbreaker for the future.

curbstompme − NTA and that’s kind of a red flag that she isn’t willing to compromise

brownbird8888 − NTA. She is there with you for thr good times, not the bad times. Her selfishness does not augur well for the future.

marheena − NTA - this seems like one of those “ah we aren’t meant to be” moments.

She’s not going to be by your side in a crisis. What’s the point of dragging out this relationship?

Poplett − NTA but your girlfriend is acting like a spoiled AH who doesn't care about your problems.

In the end, this Redditor’s push for fairness shines a light on what partnership really means: weathering storms together, not just sunny days.

Do you think his girlfriend’s stance is a dealbreaker, or could compromise save the day? How would you handle a partner dodging the bill during your tough times? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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