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Man Refuses To Buy Girlfriend’s First Published Book, Sparking Support Debate

by Marry Anna
September 26, 2025
in Social Issues

A man thrilled by his girlfriend’s first published book found himself in hot water for refusing to buy a physical copy. After supporting her with editing and praise throughout the process, he didn’t see the point of buying it since they live together.

She argued it shows support and matters for sales in their small country, leaving him wondering if he’s wrong. Let’s dive into the details and see what the online community thinks of this bookish drama.

This story is packed with relationship tension and questions about support. Was he out of line?

Man Refuses To Buy Girlfriend’s First Published Book, Sparking Support Debate

'AITA for refusing to buy my girlfriend's book?'

So, my girlfriend (we live together) wrote, sold, and published her first book. I think that it is amazing and I am very proud of her.

I believe that I was very supportive, participated in beta reading, had my hand in text editing (Edit2: I did some changes in every single page; a lot of suggestions/editing;...

We celebrated when she sold the book to the publisher and all, so I don't believe that I was unsupportive.

However, she got very angry today because I refused to buy a physical copy of the book. I said that I just don't get this.

We live together. What? Her argument is: we live in a small country and every copy sold matters, and I should show support.

I replied that the readers should buy her book, not her partner. Anyhooo... AITA?

EDIT: Thank you, good people of Reddit! I guess I am an a__hole and a fool. Will try to be better. Cheers. :)

This story centers on relationship support and the power of symbolic gestures. OP’s extensive help with his girlfriend’s book, editing every page and offering praise, was significant, but his refusal to buy a copy hurt her.

Her request wasn’t just about sales; it was about public validation, as sapient-meerkat noted. Social media, like Bivagial, calls OP out for missing this emotional cue, though whisperingduck defends his prior contributions.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman emphasizes, “Small, symbolic acts build connection” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work).

OP’s practical stance, they live together, he helped extensively, missed the emotional weight of buying her book. A few, like PhilistineAu, argue she could’ve gifted him a copy, but most see his refusal as a missed chance to celebrate her milestone.

OP’s edit shows he’s open to growth, but the argument may linger without repair. A small gesture now could mend the rift.

Here’s the advice: Buy the book, ask for a personal inscription, and plan a small celebration to show your pride. If money’s tight, explain honestly but still make the purchase as a loving act.

In the future, be attuned to symbolic gestures. Have an open talk with her to understand her needs and strengthen your bond.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The online community mostly labels OP the asshole, arguing he missed a key chance to support his girlfriend, though some defend his prior efforts. They split into three camps: criticizing his refusal, suggesting romantic gestures, and supporting his contributions.

Many saw his refusal as a lack of emotional support.

Bivagial − YTA. As an author, I would advise you to buy her book. Signing on with a publisher is huge.

Getting your first book printed is huge. Having your SO refuse to buy it is hugely disappointing.

You think you've been supportive, but not buying the book makes it seem like all your previous efforts were just for show.

Like smiling and playing, happy to indulge a toddler who handed you a scribbled "picture". It's unlikely that buying the book will break your bank, so why are you so...

Seems like a weird hill to die on, and planting your flag in it is probably incredibly insulting for her.

LadyCass79 − YTA. I have a friend who is published. They write gay romance fantasy, and I don't particularly enjoy the genre (Nothing wrong with them, it's just not my...

I still buy a physical copy of each of their books. I think it's amazing that they are pursuing their dreams, and I know it's often very hard.

Honestly, she shouldn't have had to ask you; it's a basic kind of support, and it would have felt really validating and good for her, all for the inexpensive cost...

Now, no matter what you do, she's got the bad taste of having had to try to convince you.

One day, she'll tell the man she ends up with about how awful this felt and give it as an example of how she realized what a bad choice you...

PsychologicalRoll705 − Eh, it's up to you, but I'm leaning towards YTA. Personally, I would buy my partner's book and get the very first personally signed copy to keep and...

Will it break the bank to show her support? Will it hurt you to buy it? It's a pretty big deal to get signed with a publisher. Congrats to your...

[Reddit User] − YTA. It’s a gesture of support; she doesn’t care if you never read it again. She only cares that you believe in her enough to buy a...

There’s no point in giving someone flowers, either, as they just die after a couple of days. It’s about the gesture and what it means to the person you bought...

If I were you, I’d be buying copies for friends and family to show my support, but that’s just me.

Some urged grander, romantic gestures to show support.

sapient-meerkat − YTA. Definitely. This is almost certainly not about "we live in a small country and every copy sold matters."

That is probably just her trying to appeal to your rational nature, since you clearly have no sentimental side!

This is her first published book!!! This has probably been a lifelong dream of hers!! She probably wants you to show that you are proud of her, not just tell...

In your shoes, I would have rushed out to purchase a physical copy from a local bookstore, raved about "how eager I've been to read this book I heard so...

Then I would have purchased a bookstand, or, heck, if I had the tools, I would have made a simple bookstand by hand, so I could prominently display my personalized,...

Besides, you'll want that signed copy to remember her by when she dumps your dull, unimaginative ass!

[Reddit User] − YTA and a fool. You could have ordered a copy and excitedly asked her to sign it, because you're her biggest fan.

Then you have a romantic dinner and get lucky. Instead, you're acting like supporting her / relationship stuff is a chore.

Of course, she will be disappointed. Buying a copy of her book isn't even a grand gesture.

Buying a case so you can give a copy to everyone you know as a gift is a grand gesture.

Impossible_Grill − YTA, what’s wrong with you? As someone who has been married for a long time let me let you in on a little secret that seems to elude...

Imagine a world where you said “ok” and clicked “buy it now.” But no, instead you decided to make it an argument, including spending time asking complete strangers to validate...

Why wouldn’t you have been like “of course, but only if the author signs it! ” Right or wrong, you would have made someone you like (love?) happy, and it...

I swear to god, the number of posts that are like “my SO of 8 years says that Penne is superior to Spaghetti and after a 5-hour fight and the...

Ellejaek − If my partner published a book. I would buy a copy. In fact, I would buy many and pass them out to everyone I know.

I would want a signed first edition. But then again, I love my husband. YTA.

True-Mousse4957 − YTA. Buy the damn book. It's the meaning behind the gesture that matters. It's not the literal sale of one book.

A few backed OP for his earlier efforts.

whisperingduck − NTA. As an author myself, I always give the first signed copies to the people who helped me in the process of writing the book.

I would never expect the people who gave time and energy to my project to then turn around and buy it.

pepabysmalls − YTA. My partner is in a band. He’s put tonnes of work into it, hours of rehearsal, and he wrote all the songs himself.

I bought tickets to his first show immediately, without being asked. And his second. I could’ve got in for free, but I didn’t.

Showing someone you love that you believe in them has no price tag.

Weary_Locksmith_9689 − I don’t really understand why you’re drawing the line where you are.

You’ve supported her through the writing and editing process, but you can’t spare 20€/$/£ to purchase a copy? Just buy the book. What’s the big deal? I’d have to say...

NoImagination7892 − YTA. You're making a big deal out of $15. Buy the book and ask her to sign it like a real friend would do.

Alternative_Fall3187 − My wife didn't buy my book when it was published. ...I gave her a copy. I don't need my wife to buy my book, we have a shared...

PhilistineAu − NTA. You supported her while she wrote it. You helped edit it. You proved it.

She has plenty of gift copies. She couldn’t give you one and write something grateful inside the front cover? Instead, you need to buy a copy?!? Red flags abound.

OP was called out for refusing to buy his girlfriend’s book, despite his significant support during its creation. Social media sees it as a missed chance for a small but meaningful gesture, though some defend his contributions.

‘This story sparks questions about symbolic acts in relationships. Have you misjudged a partner’s emotional needs? How did you fix it? Share your stories below!

Marry Anna

Marry Anna

Hello, lovely readers! I’m Marry Anna, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. As a woman over 30, I bring my curiosity and a background in Creative Writing to every piece I create. My mission is to spark joy and thought through stories, whether I’m covering quirky food trends, diving into self-care routines, or unpacking the beauty of human connections. From articles on sustainable living to heartfelt takes on modern relationships, I love adding a warm, relatable voice to my work. Outside of writing, I’m probably hunting for vintage treasures, enjoying a glass of red wine, or hiking with my dog under the open sky.

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