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Man Refuses To Let His Pregnant Son And Girlfriend Move In, Family Says He’s Heartless

by Marry Anna
December 27, 2025
in Social Issues

When adulthood collides with major commitments, parents are often pulled back into roles they thought were long behind them, even when they believe their children should be standing on their own.

In this story, a parent was faced with a difficult request after their son’s life took a sudden turn. While excitement and concern mixed together, so did doubts about long-term stability and readiness.

Wanting to help without taking over, the parent tried to strike a middle ground that still respected personal boundaries.

Unfortunately, that choice didn’t land well with everyone involved.

Man Refuses To Let His Pregnant Son And Girlfriend Move In, Family Says He’s Heartless
Not the actual photo

'AITAH for refusing to let my son and his pregnant girlfriend move back in with me?'

My son, we’ll call him Jake, 23, has always been an independent and hardworking guy.

After graduating from college, he moved out, got a decent job, and seemed to be doing well for himself.

A few months ago, he introduced me to his new girlfriend, whom we’ll call Emily.

She seemed nice enough at first, but over time, I started noticing some red flags.

She quit her job shortly after they started dating, claiming she wanted to find something better, but she hasn't made much of an effort to look.

She also has a bit of a spending problem, always wanting to go out to expensive restaurants

and buy new clothes, despite not having a steady income.

Recently, Jake came to me with some news. Emily is pregnant, and they want to move back in with me to save money.

They plan to get married and raise the baby together. I was taken aback.

While I love my son and want to support him, I don't think moving in with me is the right solution.

I worked hard to provide a stable home for Jake when he was growing up, and now that he's an adult,

I believe he needs to learn how to handle his own responsibilities.

I told Jake that while I'm excited to be a grandparent and will help out in other ways, they can't move in with me.

I offered to help them find a more affordable place to live and promised to assist with some baby expenses, but I can't have them living under my roof.

Emily was furious and accused me of not caring about their future. Jake seemed disappointed but understood my reasoning.

Now, Emily has been posting on Facebook about how I'm abandoning them in their time of need,

and some of our family members have reached out, saying I should let them move in temporarily.

I feel bad, but I also believe that enabling them won't teach them the independence they need.

Engaging with your adult child about living arrangements can be emotionally loaded, especially when the request involves multiple life changes like pregnancy and financial strain.

In this situation, the OP was suddenly asked to take her adult son and his pregnant girlfriend back into her home.

She offered practical support, including help with finding more affordable housing and contributing to baby expenses, but ultimately refused the living-at-home arrangement.

Jake accepted her reasoning with disappointment, while Emily reacted angrily and publicly accused the OP of abandoning them.

Both sides hold understandable concerns: the couple wants immediate financial security, and the OP wants to preserve healthy boundaries and foster long-term resilience rather than short-term dependency.

This tension fits within a well-documented social trend. According to the Pew Research Center, today a significant portion of young adults live with their parents at some point after leaving home.

Many of them report positive financial impacts from this arrangement, but feelings about independence and social life are more mixed.

This pattern reflects broader economic pressures such as rising housing costs and job insecurity that make independent living more difficult for younger adults.

The idea of adult children returning to the family home has even earned its own label in social research: the Boomerang Generation.

This term captures the way young adults increasingly return to parental households after a period of independence, bringing both practical benefits and emotional complications for everyone involved.

Clinical perspectives on this dynamic underscore the importance of clear boundaries in maintaining healthy relationships.

Licensed therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab highlights that boundaries are essential for respectful interactions and personal well-being.

Setting limits is not inherently selfish; rather, it helps people understand expectations and roles within relationships. Without clearly defined boundaries, well-meaning support can unintentionally enable patterns of dependency rather than growth.

Survey research also reveals how complex multi-generational living can be.

Many parents do welcome adult children back home as a way to offer support and keep family ties strong, but a significant share also report financial strain or concerns about contribution to household costs.

These mixed outcomes illustrate why families must approach such arrangements thoughtfully rather than impulsively.

From a neutral standpoint, the OP’s approach balanced care with structure.

She did not reject her son or his situation outright; she declined to turn her home into a long-term safety net in a way that might undermine their efforts to stand on their own feet.

Helping to find affordable housing, contributing to baby-related expenses, and setting clear expectations are all consistent with encouraging responsible adult behavior while still offering meaningful support.

Through the OP’s experience, a core truth emerges: love and support do not always require cohabitation. Providing resources and encouragement can empower young adults to build stability without removing the impetus to grow.

In this case, the OP’s boundary was not a retreat from care, but an intentional step toward helping her son and his partner develop greater independence and resilience as they embark on parenthood.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These Redditors focused on risk and self-protection. They warned that inviting someone into the home who already weaponized social media could spiral into entitlement, boundary violations, and eviction nightmares.

SpringfieldMO_Daddy − NTA. This sounds like it is being driven by Emily. Think about it from a slightly different perspective:

Would you want someone living under your roof who did not hesitate to try to hurt you via social media?

rolliebenson − She wants your house. If you take her in.

She will want the master bedroom and eventually ask you to live in a caravan in the back garden.

Dangerous_Pattern_92 − They won't save because she will spend it faster than he can make it.

You don't really know this leech, I mean girl, and what if she starts stealing? Also, evicting is really expensive and a lot of trouble. NTAH.

This group zoomed in on accountability. They argued Emily’s situation stemmed from her own choices, not bad luck, and insisted adults who decide to have children also need to support themselves.

teresajs − NTA. Emily can be dependent on someone other than you.

Since Emily is badmouthing you, reduce the amount of help you might otherwise have offered (fewer gifts and less babysitting,

for instance) and try to focus more specifically on support that could help your son more than Emily.

Don't do favors for people who are unkind to you.

Tell your family members that Emily hasn't been working and isn't doing anything to support herself.

But you would be happy to let your son and his GF know that they (the family members) want to help them with housing.

Odd-End-1405 − NTA. VERY smart. Her time of need is due to her own choices, and as adults, it is on them to figure out how to move forward.

Continue the course, or she will try to make you free daycare/diaper service. Maybe if they are so bad off... did she actually get a job?!

Lazuli_Rose − NTA. How many of the family members reaching out to you have offered to put Jake and his pregnant girlfriend up? None, I'd wager.

Sounds like Emily found a nice man with a job, decided to live off him/baby trap him, and when her plans to

move in on you fell through, she's taken to social media to try to tarnish your reputation.

If they moved in, she's expecting you to "help" with the baby, a.k.a. raise it, while she does what she wants, or she will weaponize it against you.

These commenters roasted the family critics. Their shared stance was simple: anyone pressuring the OP to help should open their own doors instead.

Beautiful-Story2811 − "Some of our family members have reached out, saying I should let them move in temporarily."

Tell family members that you'll pass their phone numbers and addresses on to Jake and Emily, since they're so sympathetic, and it's only temporarily.

Rinse and Repeat. Mute and Block work as well. NTAH. Carry on.

Drayden71 − NTA and let the family members complain that your son and his wife would love to live with them.

garnetflame − NTA, tell her to move in with her family.

This group framed the issue around independence and fairness. They emphasized respecting the son’s adult choices while refusing to subsidize them indefinitely, especially when no emergency or health crisis existed.

julesk − NTAH. I’d text Jake and family who oppose, “I respect my son’s decision to marry, settle down, and have kids.

That level of adulthood takes a lot of commitment from Jake and Emily, which I’m happy to assist with.

However, in my view, if they’re at the point of doing this, they need to both work and be independent adults

since they’re both in good health and not facing an emergency.

If any of you disagree and would like to buy them a house or share your home indefinitely, then please do.”

JudgmentFriendly5714 − NTA. Where is HER family?

[Reddit User] − It isn't your son doing this. It's his crazy, entitled, future ex-wife/girlfriend, doing all the blaming.

Do. Not. Let. Them. Move. In! Not even a single night in your house, or you'll never get rid of her.

Also, DO NOT allow them to start getting mail at your house, as that's way that scammers and other dirtbags

will establish residency, making it that much harder to get rid of them.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with your son acting like an ingrate. NTA.

More suspicious voices questioned Emily’s motives outright. They raised concerns about financial dependency, baby-trapping, and whether the OP was being positioned as the long-term safety net.

Savings-Actuator8834 − NTA, where are Emily’s parents?

Ok-College6727 − NTA. Have your son's DNA test for the baby. Seems your son is only being used for money.

Adventurous-Term5062 − NTA. This girl quit her job and is now pregnant - she baby trapped him.

She doesn’t want a partner, she wants to sit on her but all day long. If they moved in with you, YOU would be raising that baby. Believe it.

This situation sits right at the uncomfortable intersection of love, responsibility, and hard-earned boundaries.

The OP isn’t refusing support altogether, but they are refusing to become a safety net that might quietly turn into a permanent arrangement. That choice can feel cold, even when it’s rooted in long-term concern.

Was the OP right to hold firm and push for independence, or does pregnancy change the moral math here? How much help is supportive versus enabling when adult children are involved? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 4/5 votes | 80%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 1/5 votes | 20%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/5 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/5 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/5 votes | 0%

Marry Anna

Marry Anna

Hello, lovely readers! I’m Marry Anna, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. As a woman over 30, I bring my curiosity and a background in Creative Writing to every piece I create. My mission is to spark joy and thought through stories, whether I’m covering quirky food trends, diving into self-care routines, or unpacking the beauty of human connections. From articles on sustainable living to heartfelt takes on modern relationships, I love adding a warm, relatable voice to my work. Outside of writing, I’m probably hunting for vintage treasures, enjoying a glass of red wine, or hiking with my dog under the open sky.

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