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Man Tells Girlfriend To Sell Or Kill Her Horse To Prove She Loves Him

by Layla Bui
February 8, 2026
in Social Issues

Long term passions can be hard to explain to someone who has never shared them. What looks like a hobby to one person can feel like a lifeline to another, especially when it has been part of your identity since childhood. Problems often start when a partner decides that something meaningful to you is suddenly negotiable.

That is the position one young woman found herself in after her boyfriend began questioning how much time she spent at the stable with her horse. What began as small compromises slowly turned into pressure, guilt, and demands she never expected to hear.

When he finally crossed a line she could not ignore, she turned to Reddit to ask if she was being unreasonable. Scroll down to see how this relationship conflict unfolded and why so many readers felt alarmed.

A young woman’s boyfriend demands she sell her lifelong horse to prove she prioritizes him

Man Tells Girlfriend To Sell Or Kill Her Horse To Prove She Loves Him
not the actual photo

'AITA for refusing to sell my horse?'

Me (24f) and my boyfriend (26) have been dating for around ~9 months.

I’ve been riding horses since around four years old when I started taking lessons.

When I was ten I started helping out this girl at the stable with her horse Lady.

At 12 she told her she had to sell due to time/interest and asked if me and my parents wanted to buy Lady.

Luckily for me, my parents were able to buy her and she’s been mine ever since. She’s my bestest friend and I love her a lot.

When I started to date my bf I was very honest with the fact that my horse takes a lot of time and he was fine with this.

When single I could spend like three to four hours a day in the stable but as we started dating I cut this down.

To about three hours every other day as this is roughly how long it takes for me to do all the cleaning/preparing food/riding.

Also most of my friends are at the stable which obviously means this is also social for me.

The other days I would not ride and try to spend less time talking which would make it about an hour.

After about six months he told me I spent too much time at the stable and I should prioritise my relationship more

and somehow his family got involved and saying it was strange to prioritize the way I did.

I wasn’t comfortable with this but I am a bit of a pushover so I agreed.

At first this meant cutting down time at the stable but it has evolved into cutting down riding days.

Now I ride about two days a week and the rest I’m simply there to do the basics.

All of this as quickly as I can because otherwise I know he’ll be annoyed and pissed of for days and give me the silent treatment.

I know my horse isn’t really suffering from not being ridden as often as before but I still feel very guilty that I’m always rushing around her.

Then last night he told me it was time to sell Lady. I laughed at him and asked if he was serious. He was.

I told him no and he said I needed to start prioritizing this relationship more and I said I’ve done nothing but prioritize this relationship.

We argued about it and he apparently thinks I can just put her down as she’s old anyways.

I was furious at this and told him that was absolutely not happening and I would never sell her.

He said that any reasonable person would sell or put down their horse in favor of their boyfriend and the only reason I wouldn’t is

because I only hang out with other insane horse people. So I come to you, reasonable people of Reddit, AITA?

Edit: So I never expected this to get as much attention as it did.

I’m very o__rwhelmed and thankful for all your kind comments and messages.

I am currently sitting with Lady in her stable crying my eyes out because this has been such a wake-up call for me.

My boyfriend left to visit his family and friends in his old town earlier today before I posted so for everyone worried:

all is well for now and I will handle this asap. First I need to go home and sleep. Thank you all for being wonderful

[Update here] Hello! I tried to update on AITA but got denied so I’m doing it here and hoping those who wanted an update will see this!

First of all I want to say thank you to everyone who commented and sent me messages!

I never thought my post would get as much attention as it did. It was very overwhelming.

But again, thank you for your kindness and support!

Also, thank you to the people who sent pictures of their horses. All of them are very cute!

Anyway, you guys were right. I don’t know why I didn’t see it myself but this behaviour of isolating me has been going on for a while.

He would say it was strange how much time I spent with my family, that adults didn’t spend that much time with their family.

When I pointed out he also spent a lot of time with his family, I was “imagining and exaggerating things”.

There was so much going on and for some reason I didn’t realise it. He would make me feel guilty all the time.

For the smallest things. Me and bf didn’t live together officially, because I thought it was too early.

But since he had taken a job in the town where I live “for me” he convinced me that him staying here during the weeks was a good idea.

I feel incredibly stupid for not standing up for myself.

I am a bit of a pushover and I guess he realised that if he made me feel guilty I would eventually give in.

And I did. Just so many instances of him pushing my boundaries.

Now the update: I called my brother on Saturday morning and he came and helped me pack up everything my bf left in my apartment.

Then I texted my boyfriend to break up with him. Maybe I should have done it in person but honestly, I don’t want to see him again.

He called a bunch before I answered. He was confused. At first he tried to ask me what was wrong, what had happened.

He got angry when I told him, saying he can’t believe I was breaking up with him over a “minor disagreement”

and when I said him wanting me to kill my horse isn’t a minor disagreement, he said I must be misremembering.

I eventually hung up, texted him that his things were packed and free to pick up on the first floor of my building anytime.

Then I blocked him. Haven’t heard from him since. I was able to change my locks yesterday (monday) thankfully.

Through mutual friends I got in touch with his ex gf and we DM’d on instagram.

I don’t really want to say everything that she told me as it’s not my story to tell. But I will say I’m very happy I got out right now,...

Since Friday when I posted I’ve spent pretty much all day everyday with Lady, my friends and family.

I haven’t been this happy in months, can’t believe it took Reddit to get me here lol.

For all those worried about Lady’s safety: I too am a little worried but it’s eased by the fact that

A) he never went to the stable with me so I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know where it is and

B) while I live in a country with a lot stricter gun laws than the us, the old man who owns the stable is a hunter and has assured me,

with a lil wink, he will keep an eye out for any strangers lurking around.

So that’s all, I am safe and so is Lady. Both of us are a lot happier than we were four days ago

and a lot of it is thanks to all of you, so again, thank so much for all the kindness.

Man Tells Girlfriend To Sell Or Kill Her Horse To Prove She Loves Him
Couldn’t figure out another way to upload an image, but here’s Lady ❤️

People often form strong psychological attachments to animals that go beyond casual affection, sometimes rivaling human connections.

Research on the human-animal bond shows that people frequently view pets as family members and form deep affective relationships with animals, experiencing companionship, emotional support, and even stress reduction through these bonds.

In many cases, animals provide a sense of comfort, stability, and connection that isn’t easily substituted.

For someone like the OP, whose horse Lady has been part of her life since childhood, this bond is more than a hobby; it’s a longstanding emotional attachment with decades of shared history.

Studies on human-animal attachment indicate that animals can serve as meaningful relational attachments, offering psychological benefits such as reduced loneliness and emotional security.

The strength of this bond helps explain why the idea of selling or euthanizing Lady wasn’t just “inconvenient”, it felt like a threat to something fundamental to her well-being.

The disruption was not simply about time management but about emotional meaning. Research in psychology highlights that when a relationship, whether with a partner, friend, or pet, is central to someone’s sense of self and emotional regulation, threats to that relationship can trigger deep distress.

Although studies on human-pet attachment show mixed outcomes for mental health depending on context, they consistently underline that strong attachments to animals are real and psychologically significant for many people.

Additionally, in healthy relationships, it is generally expected that significant decisions, especially those involving deeply meaningful attachments, are discussed collaboratively.

The HelpGuide resource on setting boundaries explains that establishing and respecting personal limits is crucial for emotional well-being and relationship health.

It emphasizes that making unilateral demands that disregard your partner’s emotional attachments can lead to resentment and conflict, especially when personal boundaries are pushed or overridden.

Likewise, when one partner expresses controlling behavior, such as insisting another give up something emotionally significant, psychological professionals note that this can be a sign of an unhealthy dynamic rooted in attempts to control another’s environment and attachments.

Such behavior doesn’t necessarily stem only from malice; underlying fears, insecurities, or attachment issues can drive a desire for control.

Viewed through these expert lenses, the OP’s refusal to sell Lady was not merely stubbornness or selfishness. It was an intuitive defense of an emotionally significant attachment that provides psychological comfort, identity continuity, and emotional regulation, especially after so many years together.

The boyfriend’s escalating pressure to sever that bond aligns with patterns of conflict seen in relationships where one partner seeks to diminish meaningful connections that are important to the other.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

This group warned the boyfriend’s behavior was abusive and dangerous, urging OP to leave

lotus_eater123 − Send us an update. I'm worried for you.

Anyone who suggests k__ling a beloved animal for their own convenience is warped.

hufflepunkk − Nta. Anyone who says you should k__l your pet for a relationship is a p__cho

Calm_Ad_6124 − NTA Run, I had an abusive bf (LIKE THIS) when I was young and he said something similar.

That was the lightbulb moment I needed to realize it was ABUSIVE and I needed to leave.

That horse was a better friend and partner to me than he ever was. My current partner knows what the horses mean to me.

There are times I may cut things short to spend time with him but it’s because I WANT to, not him complaining.

He supports my passions and I support his. Lady was there long before him and she’ll be there long after him.

These commenters backed OP fully and said the boyfriend should be dumped immediately

josie_drake − It’s time to throw out the boyfriend NTA

stefiscool − NTA. If any guy told me to get rid of my cats, I would get rid of him. They’ve been with me through thick and thin.

LadyKnightAngie − NTA. the only person you should be putting out is your BF

wonderinghelp − Umm you are with an AH. Run

This group stressed OP was upfront about her animal commitments and partners must accept them

[Reddit User] − You are NTA, you made it very clear from the beginning that you have a horse

that takes a considerable amount of time each day to maintain. Opinion from a (28M)

[Reddit User] − NTA if a partner told me to sell my horses then he would be single faster than he could blink.

They are a huge commitment but one I chose to take on and anyone in my life needs to understand that.

[Reddit User] − NTA. And you need to dump him. This is classic control issues.

Next this guy is going to be telling you to "prioritize" him over your friends and family.

Then you'll find it's been months since you've talked to anyone that isn't "approved" by him or in his presence. And so on and so forth.

Plenty of men will understand your passion and give you space for it. And you should do the same for them about their passions.

weaver_of_cloth − NTA You hang out with a horse person, you get the horse as part of the deal.

It can be painful for some idiotic non-horse people to learn that. He's about to feel a whole lot more pain. Keep the horse, sell the boyfriend.

These Redditors highlighted controlling behavior and loss of independence as major red flags

youcantseemebear − NTA. I once dated a guy for 8 years that hated my dogs, that we got together.

I choose the dogs because I found it crazy that he didn’t love my babies as much as I did.

It was an actual major factor that lead to our break up.

I see this as a red flag that he doesn’t support and love the things that make you you.

Ok-Bit-9529 − NTA. You need to realize how controlling this is of your ONLY 9 month bf.

You should be able to have time doing whatever makes you happy!

The fact that he wants you to only have time for him and nothing else is very telling of insecurities.

Tell him to get a hobby, and do something with himself when you're out with your horse.

I'm just saying though, this is major .

This commenter said both sides were flawed but agreed the boyfriend was controlling and should go

thirdtryisthecharm − ESH. Adult life means making hard decisions sometimes.

You need to either give your horse the time she needs, or sell the horse.

Being a pushover is no longer an acceptable excuse when it is negatively affecting your animals or other people.

Either way you should drop your BF. He's a controlling, manipulative a__hole.

There is no reason that having a horse precludes having a relationship.

By the end, most readers weren’t debating horses anymore. They were talking about boundaries, control, and how quickly love can turn conditional.

Was this ever a reasonable request, or was it a loyalty test designed to isolate her? Should a partner compete with something that makes you whole, or protect it? The poster chose herself, her horse, and her safety. Would you have seen the red flags as early? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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