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Man Wants Babysitting Pay for His Own Kid While Wife Dates the Neighbor

by Charles Butler
January 13, 2026
in Social Issues

This marriage drama feels like a sitcom that forgot to be funny.

One suburban dad thought he had cracked the ultimate life hack. While his wife enjoyed horror movies, fancy dinners, and deep conversations with their movie-loving neighbor, he stayed home with the kids.

No scary films. No expensive meals. No emotional effort required.

At first, he seemed perfectly fine with the arrangement. He avoided the things he didn’t like and even bragged that another man was treating his wife to nice dinners so he didn’t have to.

But after months of playing “dad on duty,” the resentment crept in.

Instead of reconnecting with his wife or setting boundaries, he came up with a bold new plan. He decided he deserved a babysitting fee, even for watching his own daughter.

His wife didn’t laugh. Reddit didn’t laugh. And the neighbor didn’t fix anything.

What started as a harmless movie night turned into a full-blown relationship disaster.

Now, read the full story:

Man Wants Babysitting Pay for His Own Kid While Wife Dates the Neighbor
Not the actual photo

'AITA for wanting to be pay for babysitting my own daughter?'

My (39M) wife (34F) and I live in at a suburban house with our daughter (10F, Emily).

Our neighbour next door (48M, Walter) is a single father with two daughters (14F and 12F). We have been living here for a little more than two years.

My wife really likes watching scary movies but I have never enjoy them. I get too scared and end up having a bad time so I prefer to avoid them.

Her friends sometimes go with her to the more popular ones but she also likes older, indies and foreign horror movies.

She has always had a hard time finding people that have this niche interest and that is why it was such a big deal when we met Walter and found...

They very quickly started to make plans to watch movies together. I was invited to be a part of this but refused.

I prefer to just stay at home babysitting Emily and Walter's daughter while they are in their cinephile reunions.

Sometimes they go to movie theaters but other times they just stay at Walter's place watching stuf at his home cinema.

They usually have to go to another town in order to catch a specific function of some weird movie so it is normal for them to come back very late.

They eventually started doing stuff outside of watching movies, like going out for dinner.

Walter invited all of us, including the kids, to go with him to a restaurant that a friend of him owned but I said no because it was too expensive.

I don't like that kind of places because I feel they are a waste of money and didn't think the kids would enjoy it either.

I insisted on staying with the kids and let the two of them go be themselves.

This has became a regular thing and it is in a way a good deal for me because Walter pays for my wife's dinner and she can't no longer complain...

As both their movie and dinner nights had became so common, I have grown a little tired of the burden of constantly babysitting the girls.

I talk to my wife and Walter about it and he explained that he usually does not like leaving his duaghters with babysitters.

He says he is really comfortable knowing that they are being watched by an experienced father like me instead of some teenage girl.

He nevertheless agreed that it was too much of a load for me and offered to start paying me a standard babysitter fee each time he goes out with my...

I thought that was a fair approach to the issue but my wife was fully against it.

She says I should not be paid for babysitting my own daughter nor the daughters of a close friend of our family like Walter.

We have been arguing about this but she insists on this notion and it not open to change.

She even gets mad every time I talk to her about this. Walter promised me that he will convince her but he does not seem to have been able to...

Am I the A__hole?

This story feels less like a family disagreement and more like a slow-motion relationship collapse.

The husband didn’t just step away from his wife’s interests. He handed them to another man and called it a “good deal.”

He avoided shared experiences, avoided emotional effort, and even celebrated the fact that someone else was taking his wife on dates.

Then he got tired of the responsibilities he volunteered for.

Instead of reconnecting with his partner, he tried to turn parenting into a paid service.

The real issue here isn’t money. It’s distance.

When couples stop showing up for each other, resentment grows fast. This situation didn’t come out of nowhere. It built up through missed moments, skipped dinners, and emotional outsourcing.

That kind of disconnect always leaves a mark.

At first glance, this story looks like a simple argument about babysitting money.

Dig deeper, and it turns into a case study on emotional withdrawal, relationship neglect, and blurred boundaries.

The husband chose comfort over connection. He avoided horror movies, expensive dinners, and shared experiences with his wife. Instead, he let another man step into those moments.

Over time, that choice reshaped the relationship dynamic.

Relationship experts often describe shared activities as emotional glue. When couples stop doing things together, even small routines, emotional distance grows.

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman explains that connection comes from everyday engagement. He notes that couples who regularly invest in shared experiences build stronger emotional bonds.

In this case, the husband didn’t just ignore his wife’s interests. He outsourced them.

That created a vacuum, and Walter filled it.

Then there’s the parenting angle.

Calling time with your own child “babysitting” sends a clear message about how you view responsibility. Parenting isn’t a favor. It’s part of the role.

A Pew Research study found that 68% of parents believe childcare responsibilities should be shared equally, regardless of work schedules or personal preferences.

When one parent frames involvement as optional labor, tension follows.

The husband also framed himself as the victim of his own choices. He declined outings, stayed home with the kids, and later resented the situation he created.

That resentment didn’t target the root problem. It targeted the symptom.

Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains that people often redirect frustration when they feel powerless. Instead of addressing emotional needs, they focus on surface-level complaints.

The babysitting fee wasn’t about money. It was about recognition. He wanted validation for his role, even though he voluntarily took it on.

Meanwhile, his wife saw something very different. She saw a partner who opted out of shared experiences and then tried to monetize parenting.

That disconnect explains why the conversation turned heated.

So what could actually help here?

First, honest communication. Not about money, but about emotional needs.

Second, shared effort. Couples don’t have to love the same things, but they do need to show up.

Third, boundaries. Letting a neighbor fill emotional space in a marriage invites confusion and resentment.

The core lesson here feels simple.

When partners stop investing in each other, they start keeping score. And scorekeeping rarely saves a relationship.

Check out how the community responded:

The “Your Wife Is Basically Dating” Crowd: Redditors wasted no time pointing out how strange this dynamic looked from the outside.

sarpon6 - "Your wife is dating your neighbor. And you think he should pay you?"

OkDragonfruit9943 - "You outsourced your wife. Another man takes her on dates."

windsofwinterplease - "Congrats to your wife and Walter. Enjoy your new role."

The Parenting Reality Check: Many users focused on the word “babysitting” and lost all patience immediately.

elfishpreslley - "It’s not babysitting. It’s parenting."

realstareyes - "Watching your own kid isn’t a job. It’s your responsibility."

SwimmingCritical - "You chose this setup. Now you complain about it."

The Harsh Truth Brigade: Some commenters didn’t sugarcoat anything at all.

stirfly93 - "They tried to include you. You refused. Now you’re upset."

ReviewOk929 - "Even her future husband couldn’t convince her."

idcpicksmn - "NTA. Between you and your wife’s boyfriend."

This story isn’t really about babysitting. It’s about what happens when someone checks out of their relationship and expects things to stay the same.

Avoiding shared experiences might feel easier in the moment. But emotional distance always shows up later.

When a partner feels unseen, unheard, or unsupported, they look for connection elsewhere. Not always romantically, but emotionally.

Instead of turning parenting into a paid task, the real solution sits somewhere else. It sits in effort, presence, and shared time.

So what do you think? Should the husband focus on getting paid, or on reconnecting with his wife? And where should couples draw the line when outside friendships start replacing inside ones?

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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