Remote work has its perks, flexible hours, family nearby, and comfy clothes, but it also comes with one constant challenge: no real privacy. For this frustrated husband, that challenge reached new heights when his wife kept bursting into his office mid-meeting.
After countless reminders, he resorted to an impulsive tactic: giving her a light spray from his plant mister every time she opened the door. His wife saw it as humiliating; he called it necessary.
What began as a playful attempt to set boundaries has turned into a full-blown argument.
The scenario involves a father working from home who uses a spray bottle to keep his wife and sons out of his office when his door is closed for meetings.
He says he’s repeatedly asked his wife not to interrupt during these times; she says he’s treating her like a child for entering the office.
In a recent instance, after his meeting ended and his wife opened the door again, he sprayed her with the bottle. She left the home in anger and he now wonders if he was an asshole.
In short, the father believes he’s drawing a clear boundary between his work-time and family time, and sees his wife’s interruptions as disrespectful to that boundary.
His wife sees the spray-bottle action as belittling and undermining trust. Each is motivated by a desire for respect, he wants the quiet he needs; she wants to feel trusted and not infantilised.
This issue connects to a broader psychosocial topic: how couples manage boundaries, roles, and respect for work and family life in shared spaces.
According to the Australian parenting-resource site “Raising Children”, one of the key supports for partnership is “backing each other up” rather than undermining each other.
While that advice is aimed at parenting, the principle equally applies to partners managing joint responsibilities and personal space.
Using a spray bottle to enforce a boundary introduces a layer of coercion and playfulness that may erode mutual respect, even if unintended.
Many relationship therapists highlight that how partners handle small boundary violations can reflect deeper issues of power, respect, and communication.
For instance, when one partner resorts to non-verbal, punitive signals rather than direct conversation, it often leads to resentment rather than resolution.
If advising the father, the recommendation would be choose a calm moment (not a meeting time) to say: “I know you care about making sure things are handled here when I’m in meetings.
When my door is closed, I’m focusing on work and can’t respond. Could we find a signal or plan so you don’t need to test the door? I’d like us both to feel respected and supported.”
Then listen fully to his wife’s perspective: how she experiences the interruptions, what makes her enter, what she feels when excluded.
Together they could agree on a protocol, e.g., a visible sign on the door saying “In meeting, do not disturb” and perhaps a check-in time before and after to switch roles.
Avoid spray bottles, mock discipline or lock-outs unless mutually agreed, they damage trust.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
These commenters unanimously ruled NTA, emphasizing that the issue wasn’t the spray bottle, it was the wife’s refusal to respect simple boundaries.
This group applauded OP’s patience before resorting to drastic measures.
While agreeing that OP wasn’t the villain, these users advocated for a more balanced approach.
These Redditors doubled down on the practicality of OP’s methods, saying he had every right to protect his workspace.
This user shared a relatable story about teaching family members to respect home office signals, even with a curtain instead of a door.
This story hit a nerve for anyone balancing remote work and family chaos. It’s a battle between communication and desperation, one partner needing peace to work, the other feeling dismissed in her own home.
Was the spray bottle crossing a line, or a desperate plea for space after endless interruptions? Would you laugh, get mad, or pack the kids and leave? Sound off in the comments below!
