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Mom Doubts Son’s Illness, Risks Rift Over Sister’s Health Needs

by Marry Anna
September 21, 2025
in Social Issues

A routine day turned into a nightmare when a mother realized she’d made a terrible mistake. As a single mom, she’s constantly juggling the care of her daughter with chronic health issues while trying to ensure her son doesn’t feel overlooked.

But when her son called from school, saying he was in pain and needed to be picked up, she made a snap judgment that left her filled with regret. Let’s unpack the details and see what the online community had to say.

This story dives into the messy reality of family priorities, feelings of neglect, and the fallout of assumptions gone wrong. Was the mother truly in the wrong for doubting her son?

Mom Doubts Son’s Illness, Risks Rift Over Sister’s Health Needs

'AITA for initially not believing my son when he said he was sick?'

 

I'm a 48-year-old single mom to two kids, we'll call them Rachel and Vik.

Rachel recently turned 18, and she has a lot of chronic health issues she's been struggling with since she was little.

We've been blessed that she has a lot of good periods, but right now she's having some trouble, likely due to the stress of next year's graduation and all that...

I've been kept pretty busy making sure she stays as healthy as possible. I think Vik has always resented the extra attention his sister receives, which is understandable.

I've always tried my best to make sure he has special time devoted to him, too, but I'd be lying if I said Rachel's health hasn't taken precedence over everything...

About a month ago, we had the good news that Vik will likely be graduating early due to academic excellence.

I was so happy and congratulated him, but I noticed that since then, his behavior seemed to be worse. He was more moody, short with me, and not eating the...

Last week, I took Rachel to the doctor's over a sinus issue. While we were there, Vik called from school saying he was in a lot of pain and could...

I told him he knew I was at the doctor's with Rachel. He got pissy and said some not-so-nice things about me favoring her.

I'll admit I jumped to conclusions and thought that this, combined with his other bad behavior, meant he was just trying to get attention, since his early graduation news hadn't...

 

 

I told him that because of his attitude, I wasn't picking him up early at all, and after Rachel's doctor visit was over, I went to work as usual.

When I got home, everything seemed normal. But when I called the kids down for dinner, Vik didn't come.

When I checked his room, I quickly realized he's genuinely sick. I immediately rushed him to the doctor's and apologized profusely to him for not believing him initially.

I tried to explain that his behavior recently is why I assumed he just wanted attention.

He said if it were Rachel, I wouldn't have made that assumption, though I assured him this wasn't true.

Since then, he hasn't really talked to me. Was I really being the a**hole? I think I made an honest mistake and corrected it as soon as I found out...

This story raises a tough question: how do you balance attention between kids when one has special needs? Rachel’s chronic illness naturally demands more of the mother’s focus, but this has left Vik feeling sidelined. Child psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy notes, “When a child feels overlooked, they may act out or seek attention, even if it sparks conflict”.

Vik, with his academic success and early graduation news, might be struggling to feel seen amidst his sister’s health challenges. His moodiness or refusal to eat could be cries for recognition rather than rebellion. The mother’s assumption that he was faking his illness, while rooted in context, reinforced his sense of being less important.

From a broader perspective, prioritizing one child for health reasons is understandable but can cause lasting emotional wounds. If Vik consistently feels like he’s second to Rachel, it could strain their mother-son bond permanently. Relationship expert John Gottman suggests carving out one-on-one moments, like a special dinner or heartfelt talk, to rebuild connection.

The mother could start by having an open conversation with Vik, acknowledging his feelings without defensiveness. For example, saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you right away. I want to hear what you’re going through,” could be a step forward. Planning regular time for Vik, like celebrating his academic achievements with a meaningful activity, would show he’s valued.

Finally, since Rachel is now 18, the mother might consider encouraging her to manage some of her health needs independently. This could free up time to focus on Vik and help him feel equally prioritized. While this mistake can be mended, it requires swift, sincere action.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The online community didn’t hold back, with most siding with Vik in a heated discussion. Here’s a breakdown of their reactions. Many users empathized with Vik, arguing the mother’s actions were unacceptable.

5115E − YTA. Every sentence in your post acknowledges it and is followed by an excuse.

You haven't just prioritized Rachel's health. You have prioritized her very being to the detriment of your son, and you know it.

You even realize that he is justifiably resentful, then go ahead and reinforce the source of the problem.

In fact, you seem to resent the fact that he deserves not just "some" attention but extra attention sometimes.

Combined with his other bad behavior, meant he was just trying to get attention. What other bad behavior?

Do you mean acting like a teen who wishes that just once his mother could put some effort into acknowledging his existence?

Even if he had been looking for a bit of attention, punishing him by ignoring his plea for help was unconscionable.

 

 

You got angry when he called you out and left him sick at school. What lesson were you trying to teach there?

Because what I read was you telling him to shut up because you were already involved with Rachel.

He said if it were Rachel, I wouldn't have made that assumption, though I assured him this wasn't true.

That was a lie, and he knows it. You did not make an "honest" mistake; you acted as you always do and downplayed what he was saying.

You think he's upset because he didn't get enough attention for graduating early? Why would he feel that way?

What have you done to celebrate? Are you having a party or even a cake? What did you do beyond "That's nice"?

I have to take Rachel to an appointment? From your post, it seems that you don't really want to give it too much attention because Rachel isn't doing as well...

What are Vik's plans for post-graduation? Do you even know?

Maybe he's wondering how he can pursue his aspirations, knowing that you will tell him you can afford won't afford to help him because you have to do so much...

This one incident is probably just a slice of your son's everyday life. You are far too used to making excuses.

Some offered harsh critiques, warning of long-term damage to the family dynamic.

Psychological-Bit430 − YTA. He said if it were Rachel, I wouldn't have made that assumption, though I assured him this wasn't true.

But he is right, you would never make an assumption that Rachel was making it up for attention.

Imagine if the illness were serious and he were dead because of your assumption. Your n**lect is also putting a wedge between Rachel and him.

Also, there have been many similar stories on this with Reddit, so here's your future if this keeps up:

He will move out and cut contact, he will get married and you won't be invited, and he will have kids whose lives you will not be a part of....

 

 

Psychological_Bee398 − YTA. There are some mistakes that can’t be corrected.

Ray1107 − YTA. I am the sibling of someone who was chronically sick with asthma growing up. The difference in how they were treated by my mom vs me was...

Resentment grew. I grew up, went to grad school hours away, and didn’t talk to my mom for over a year.

Now, even with me being 30 years old, my siblings and my mother's relationship is a complete 180 from mine and my mother's.

You’re going to ruin your relationship with your son. I know you may not FEEL like this, but kids can tell when one child is favored over the other.

Lopsided_Donut7986 − Obviously YTA. Your son had an illness bad enough that it warranted him calling you to pick him up when he likely knew that you were busy with...

Rather than do that, you berated him for asking for support from his mother.

More than that, you accused him of making up an illness so that you would give him attention, as if that helps your case.

If your child is desperate enough to FAKE AN ILLNESS to get your attention, you have not been a good parent to them.

And he wasn’t even faking it; he was, in your words, “genuinely sick.” Again, a good parent would not have doubted that their child was lying about an illness.

I don't know where you are located, but I'm assuming the US, so here are the facts:

1. Rachel is legally an adult who can take care of her own medical needs; you weren't needed at the appointment.

2. Your son called you, presumably in the afternoon, and you didn't check up on him until DINNER.

3. You are so in denial about your blatant favoritism of Rachel that you were willing to put your son’s health at risk because you were angry that he called...

You will be infinitely lucky if Vik decides to keep in contact with you when he graduates, but based on the way you've handled this whole situation, I think you...

You are a huge, HUGE a**hole.

Champi_Feuille − I tried to explain that his behavior recently is why I assumed he just wanted attention.

He said if it were Rachel, I wouldn't have made that assumption, though I assured him this wasn't true.

You're a liar. If it were your daughter, you would've rushed to the doctor because she has health issues.

You clearly favor your daughter, and you taught your son that he can't rely on you because he'll always be second, if he's polite enough and if you're in a...

I'll jump to conclusions too, but honestly, I won't be surprised if he's going NC as soon as he can.

You're not a s**tty parent, but you admitted yourself that "I'd be lying if I said Rachel's health hasn't taken precedence over everything else."

He's probably feeling left out and forgotten because his sister's health is more important than his, and more important than his health, since he called you because he felt sick...

As I said, don't be surprised if he decides to go NC with you when he leaves. Edit: YTA of course.

A few users provided thoughtful advice, urging the mother to address the root of Vik’s behavior.

Persis- − Assuming your child wasn’t actually sick, and was “just” seeking attention. Give your kid some freaking attention.

Have a discussion with him about good/bad ways of looking for attention, but give it to him.

Don’t just reward the bad behavior, but figure out what is actually going on. We all want to be acknowledged and recognized by the people we love.

A 16-year-old kid misbehaving for attention is in desperate need. I have kids your kids’ ages.

I have found talking to them about things has been far more effective than punishments.

Yes, there are sometimes consequences for actions, but usually, a conversation or two is enough.

Finding out the WHY of behaviors, the root cause of them, will accomplish far more. Behaviors are a symptom, and reacting to them is just putting a Band-Aid on them.

doglover507071956 − YTA. That was just mean. If you truly cared about your son, you would’ve taken him to the doctor anyway, no matter what he said.

What if he had a ruptured appendix? He could’ve died, you didn’t know that, and you didn’t even care.

Taking him after the fact was just another snub. You proved his point; the daughter was more important just for an office visit.

If you truly cared about him, you would’ve found out what was going on. I understand where he’s coming from.

Sounds like this has been his life. Oh, the daughter's health is more important than the son's.

I get it, he is being left out, especially with a medical problem, because his daughter's problems are more important.

NeeliSilverleaf − YTA absolutely. You've poisoned the relationship between your children and neglected your son.

If he cuts contact with you the minute he's out of the house, it will be deserved.

EssenceOfEspresso − Of course, YTA. You didn’t even try to pretend to care about Vik. I feel sorry for him. You clearly favor Rachel.

[Reddit User] − YTA. He's not going to forget this.

Sirenaide − YTA. Well? Was he wrong about you favoring her? About you assuming he was faking an illness until he got worse, but wouldn't assume if it was Rachel?

You really don't get it, do you? You're 1 step away from having an estranged son cut you off from his life. Think about it.

PuffPie19 − He was more moody, short with me, and not eating meals I made.

Combined with his other bad behavior, I'm sorry... is this something you would consider to be bad behavior?

Because I'm going to stop you right there and tell you this is probably why he's "moody" to begin with.

His expression of feelings is swept under the rug, and anything considered not happy with him is wrong and bad behavior.

Yes, this is possibly a reach, but it's also not uncommon for the regularly healthy child to be emotionally neglected and develop resentment, and this shows when they stop masking.

I tried to explain that his behavior recently is why I assumed he just wanted attention. It's your job to pay attention to your child.

Changes in behavior mean they need more attention and care. This is parenting 101, but you ignored him while he was crying out for help.

He said if it were Rachel, I wouldn't have made that assumption, though I assured him this wasn't true.

But it is true. This whole post is about Rachel and her health taking precedent (your words).

Don't gaslight your child because you don't like being called out. Honest mistake or not, YTA.

Because if this were an honest mistake, then this has likely been a pattern of his life, and it's filled with "honest mistakes."

Also, impact over intention is pretty key here, and he's likely had his fair share of impact from your "honest mistakes."

Maximum-Space7660 − YTA...My mother pretty much did this to me. Neglected getting me glasses because she thought I was lying to have them like my sister, I became chronically ill...

I ended up having peptic ulcer disease, IBS, severe acid reflux, POTS diagnosed at 19, and now a possible autoimmune disease...you’ve shown him he can’t rely on you or trust...

Aldilae − YTA, even if he was lying, it was a scream for attention. The fact that he said he was in a lot of pain, and you didn't even...

I think what you did is beyond repair; you definitely wouldn't have made that assumption if it were Rachel.

This story highlights the delicate balance of parenting, especially when one child has greater needs. The mother made a mistake in doubting Vik, but she quickly corrected it by rushing him to the doctor and apologizing.

Still, Vik’s feelings of neglect won’t vanish overnight, and rebuilding their bond will take consistent effort and care. What do you think about this situation? How can the mother repair her relationship with Vik? Share your thoughts!

 

Marry Anna

Marry Anna

Hello, lovely readers! I’m Marry Anna, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. As a woman over 30, I bring my curiosity and a background in Creative Writing to every piece I create. My mission is to spark joy and thought through stories, whether I’m covering quirky food trends, diving into self-care routines, or unpacking the beauty of human connections. From articles on sustainable living to heartfelt takes on modern relationships, I love adding a warm, relatable voice to my work. Outside of writing, I’m probably hunting for vintage treasures, enjoying a glass of red wine, or hiking with my dog under the open sky.

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