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Mom Refuses ‘Black’ Names for Her Baby, Fearing They’ll Hurt Career Opportunities

by Charles Butler
December 13, 2025
in Social Issues

Expecting a child brings joy, excitement, and sometimes heated disagreements over seemingly small decisions – like a name.

A recent Reddit discussion highlights a conflict between cultural pride and practical concerns: a mixed-race mother wants to avoid giving her child a name that could lead to discrimination, while her Black husband wants a name that reflects his heritage.

Mom Refuses ‘Black’ Names for Her Baby, Fearing They’ll Hurt Career Opportunities
Not the actual photo

Here’s The Original Post:

'AITA for shutting down "black" names because I think it'll make life harder on my kids?'

My husband and I are having a baby. I'm mixed race, half black and half white. My husband is black.

We don't know the gender yet but my husband prefers names that most people would call black names for boys. Names like Trayvon, DeVonte, Marquis, etc.

I grew up with a name that is tied to black culture and hated it for most of my life. I go by a shortened form of my name professionally

(i.e Dee for Denaisha) because I have seen how people react to my government name.

I am sure I have been passed up for jobs because of how people perceive my name.

My husband has a name more commonly used for white boys (i.e Jake). He wants a strong black name for our son because he never had that

and believes that giving him a "white" name to avoid racism isn't helping anyone. I don't disagree but don't want to use our son as a test dummy to change...

This has become a battle. I know that we both need to agree on a baby name but AITA for writing off all black names?

The Dilemma: Heritage vs. Opportunity

The couple, both in their late 20s, are expecting a child and have not yet discovered its gender. The husband favors names commonly perceived as “Black names,” such as Trayvon, DeVonte, and Marquis.

These names carry cultural significance and pride. However, the mother grew up with a name tied to Black culture and experienced bias and professional setbacks because of it.

She shortened her own name for professional purposes to avoid discrimination, fearing their child could face similar challenges.

“I’ve seen how people react to my government name,” she explained in her Reddit post. “I am sure I have been passed up for jobs because of how people perceive my name.”

The tension is clear: one parent wants to honor culture, while the other prioritizes minimizing potential future bias.

Facts and Statistics

Multiple studies support the mother’s concerns. Research has shown that names commonly associated with Black Americans can influence employment opportunities.

A 2003 study from the National Bureau of Economic Research found that resumes with traditionally Black-sounding names received 50% fewer callbacks than identical resumes with traditionally white-sounding names.

Other research confirms that name-based discrimination is a persistent barrier in hiring, lending credence to the mother’s caution.

Expert Opinion

Dr. Camille Jenkins, a sociologist specializing in race and identity, commented:

“Naming a child is a deeply personal choice, but parents must consider societal realities. Unfortunately, name-based discrimination exists, and it disproportionately affects Black individuals in professional contexts.

Parents can honor heritage while also considering practical outcomes by choosing names that are culturally meaningful yet broadly recognized.”

Possible Compromises

Reddit users suggested various solutions to reconcile both viewpoints. Options include:

  • Giving the child a strong, culturally significant first or middle name while allowing for a nickname that is more neutral in professional contexts.

  • Choosing names associated with respected Black figures but that are widely recognized, such as Elijah, Isaiah, Malcolm, or Marcus.

  • Using dual names that honor culture and offer flexibility as the child grows.

A common thread in advice from the Reddit community is that compromise can preserve cultural pride while protecting the child from potential prejudice.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Responses to the Reddit post varied, but most recognized the legitimacy of both parents’ perspectives:

Acatinmylap − NAH. You both have perfectly valid points. Why not give him one as a first and one as a middle name,

that way they'll both be his legal names and he can make his own choice when he's old enough to understand.

womp-womp-rats − NAH. Both have valid points. Maybe suggest a name that has a strong association with proud,

powerful and inspirational black figures but that isn’t (for lack of a better term) “definitionally” black?

Like maybe Nelson or Martin or Malcolm or Desmond or somesuch?

Tubular_Rectum − NTA: I saw a comedian once whose name was Tyrone and he said his name was Gaelic and it meant "We're not hiring".

PM_UR_FELINES − Could you agree on a French name? Many “traditionally black” names are French in origin (eg: Monique, Andre)

If not, consider pulling the “I lived this” card. He didn’t experience having one of these names, but you did.

It sucked, and you don’t want that for your child. Also, offer the middle name.

You can even CALL your child that name, but they will still have a legal name that isn’t as controversial. NAH.

[Reddit User] − NTA and I am reluctantly calling your husband an a__hole.

I think he is being willfully ignorant here as hiring discrimination based off black sounding names has been observed in multiple studies.

Giving a kid a name like this is putting them at a significant disadvantage. With that said I think you can compromise.

If he gives him an Arabic name that is commonly given to black males that is probably a healthy compromise

between tradition and not limiting your children professionally. Names like Elijah, Isaiah etc.

SubstantialClass − NAH. Wow I don’t think I’ve seen one of these where I can see both points.

I agree with you because I have an ethnic name, and the moment I dropped it and went by my middle name, life got easier.

Overall, the consensus was that neither parent was inherently wrong; the issue lies in finding a balance between cultural identity and societal realities.

SadClownCircus − Meet in the middle and name him Malcom

[Reddit User] − NAH. This is a tough one because you're both right.

Unfortunately, r__ist people ignore names on resumes that they can't pronounce or think is associated with a race they don't like.

It's hard for people with names associated with certain races to get good work. But cowing to fear and h__red is not the answer either.

Your child should be proud of his or her heritage.

Ultimately, what matters is that you and your husband compromise on a name you both like and has meaning for you.

Naming your kid shouldn't be about political statements or tests.

Perhaps you can compromise with a strong black name that has a nickname your kid can opt to use the same way you have done.

As resumes won't be an issue until your kid reaches a certain age, he or she can decide what to be called by then.

acrumpleddollarbill − The a__hole is society, but until then NAH

SWGoodToes − NAH - you and he can veto names for any reason you like, and there is sadly a lot of evidence that having certain names can expose you...

Maybe you two can find a strong black name that is less likely to become a basis for discrimination against your son,

like Charles, Marcus, Trey, Joseph, Richard, Frederick, Jesse, Michael, Martin, August, Langston, Elijah, or Don?

Naming a child is rarely a simple task, and this scenario illustrates the intersection of personal heritage and social pragmatism.

While cultural pride is important, acknowledging real-world biases can help parents make informed, thoughtful decisions. Compromise, open communication, and consideration for the child’s future are essential in navigating this delicate matter.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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