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Mom Stays Indifferent As Son Comes Out Before He Storms Off To Dad’s House

by Jeffrey Stone
December 29, 2025
in Social Issues

A devoted mother slaved over a lavish family feast, surrounded by steaming pots and sizzling pans, when her teenage son interrupted with a bombshell revelation about his identity. She waved it away with a casual “I don’t care,” meaning it as reassurance that nothing could shake her love, since she’d always taught her children that who they date changes nothing.

The boy’s face crumpled in devastation. Her words landed like a slap, downplaying the mountain of courage he’d climbed to share this. Heartbroken and furious, he bolted upstairs, threw clothes into a bag, and fled to his father’s house. Her goal was to normalize everything, proving unconditional acceptance without drama. Yet to him, it felt like erasure of a milestone that had cost him sleepless nights and endless fear.

A mom’s casual response to her son’s coming out as gay during a family dinner sparks debate on acceptance.

Mom Stays Indifferent As Son Comes Out Before He Storms Off To Dad's House
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling my son that I don’t care that he’s gay?'

I (F32) have 3 kids, who for the sake of this, I’ll call Jack (M15) Paige (F14) and Chloe (2), I have them with my ex husband and we remained...

A few weeks ago, I was hosting a family dinner my little sister and old brother and their kids, and I spent all day cooking a magnificent meal,

asking my kids to entertain themselves so I could have full attention to making sure nothing went wrong

and as I’m cooking, Jack comes in and tells me he has something to say, which I ask very kindly if he could wait until a bit later

as I don’t need the food burning, but he was adamant to talk to me now so I allowed him to while I made the food.

He tells me he’s gay, and me being stressed, I told him it’s not a big deal and that I don’t really care.

Growing up in a very backhanded r__ist and anti-LGBTQ family and not following those beliefs,

I raised kids to know that everyone is an equal no matter what and so if needed,

I didn’t want them to come out to me unless they were trans so that I could support them in transitioning.

He looks at me, completely shocked, and then starts going off at me that I should be making a big deal out of this

because it took him a lot of courage for him to come out to which I remind that he doesn’t need to come out and that I love him no...

He goes batshit and storms upstairs to pack a bag and head to his dad's in which, he tells him what happened

and I get a call from my ex and he says he agrees with me and that he’ll talk to Jack.

The family come over and I confide in them about what happened as my sister also agrees with me

however my brother does not, he says that coming out is a big deal and I should have told him that I’m proud that he did come out

but I honestly believe that being apart of the LGBTQ community isn’t a big deal it’s just your preference in who you date?

The mom here was juggling a chaotic kitchen and wanted to keep things moving, so her response was meant to reassure her son that nothing changes in their bond. She views sexuality as just a personal preference, not something that requires a parade, and she’s not alone in wanting a world where no one has to “come out” at all.

But the son’s reaction highlights why this moment matters so much to many young people. Coming out often takes immense courage, especially for teens navigating identity in a world that’s not always kind. Even if parents are fully accepting, a neutral or understated response can feel like minimization.

As one commenter put it, “it doesn’t matter that YOU don’t think it’s a big deal… it matters because it was a big deal for HIM.” The mom also shared the news with extended family without her son’s consent, which added another layer of unintended outing – a serious privacy breach in any context.

This situation ties into broader family dynamics around acceptance. Research shows that parental support plays a huge role in LGBTQ+ youth well-being. According to The Trevor Project’s 2022 data, 3 in 4 LGBTQ youth who were out reported having at least one family member who supports their sexual orientation, but lack of support correlates with higher risks.

The Human Rights Campaign’s 2023 report found that over half (57.4%) of LGBTQ+ youth experienced at least one form of parental rejection, while 63.1% reported some support, underscoring the mixed experiences many face.

A key insight comes from experts like those at PFLAG, who advise parents to prioritize affirmation during disclosure. Their guidelines emphasize: “No matter how easy or difficult learning about your child’s sexual orientation or gender identity is for you, it probably was difficult for them to come out to you.”

They recommend responding with love first, like a hug and words of acceptance, then seeking more conversation later. This approach validates the child’s vulnerability without dismissing it.

Neutral solutions here? A heartfelt apology for the timing and phrasing, plus a dedicated sit-down to reaffirm love and discuss boundaries, like not sharing with others without permission. Resources like The Trevor Project or PFLAG offer great tools for families to navigate this.

The goal is open dialogue: what feels like “no big deal” to one person can be monumental to another, and bridging that gap strengthens relationships.

Check out how the community responded:

Some people judge OP as YTA for dismissing or minimizing the son’s coming out experience.

unapproved_dentist − YTA. (After much debate I'm going with unintentionally TA instead of N.A.H.)

Being gay SHOULDN'T be a big deal, and your son SHOULDN'T have to feel like coming out is a huge thing to be proud of.

I think your reaction, while not what he wanted, was fine. Because you shouldn't care that he's gay.

Honestly I wish coming out didn't have to be a thing and people were able to be who they are without judgement.

HOWEVER it IS a big deal to your son, and you need to have a proper discussion with him and apologise for your reaction, as it hurt him even if...

Editing because my comment has blown up for some reason: yes, I'm reading through all the replies, I am learning a lot.

Again, this was my initial opinion on the situation, I'm not saying I'm right and my opinion does not invalidate what OP's son is feeling,

and I think OP should have a discussion with their son. I definitely am taking on board all the comments that are posted.

Superstar32131 − Sorry, but YTA for two reasons. First, it's not a preference as you state in your last sentence.

Second, it would have taken you zero effort to give him a hug and say you're proud of him,

then tell him you want to have a bigger conversation about it later on when things aren't as hectic.

TheEmpressIsIn − As a gay man, YTA. You minimized and dismissed his personal breakthrough.

He just wants to be seen and you're just trying to act like his identity does not matter.

It does matter in this world! And no, it should not be 'I don't care that you're gay';

it should be 'thank you for sharing that with me. I accept you as you are. '

[Reddit User] − YTA. I don’t get all the N.T.A votes. I assume they come from people who haven’t had to experience this in any capacity before.

Yes, no one should have to come out. But literally going ‘I don’t care’ is the opposite of being supportive. It’s dismissive.

She could have easily have said ‘Thank you for telling me, I love you’ and that wouldn’t have made it a big deal but also would’ve been at least nice.

And outside of your bubble, OP, people aren’t as accepting. Don’t you want to be prepared for the day he comes to you if he’s been threatened?

Ridiculed? Bullied? If he’s having issues? I don’t know, this ‘I don’t care’ mindset is very aloof.

In his mind right now, you won’t be a person he comes to tell things to anymore.

Some people consider OP YTA for lack of empathy, poor timing response, and outing the son.

Midnightstratus − Soft YTA. My mother has the same exact thought as you (minus the trans)

and when I came out it was the exact same situation, her saying that she didn't really care/it doesn't matter and I shouldn't have to come out.

Honestly it hurt. It felt like all of this courage I mustered up and this fear and just the need to hear her say

"That's alright sweetheart, I still love you, I will always love you no matter what."

That was in 2013 and after about 8 years, I still think about it. I understand that you were in a stressful moment

(I get unreasonably stressed when anyone even enters the kitchen when cooking),

but when your child is telling you something/coming out to you, even though you've made it clear they don't have to,

you should always show that you're supportive, love them, and to not brush them off.

Mirianda666 − YTA. Your son TOLD you why you should make a big deal: it took a lot of courage for him to publicly come out and tell you who...

It doesn't matter that YOU don't think it's a big deal because you'll still love him, it matters because it was a big deal for HIM.

When people share themselves with us, we don't get to treat the gift of their confidence and trust as though it's nothing.

What YOU believe doesn't matter here, what matters is that your son needed from you: acknowledgement.

ananchorinmychest − YTA for these reasons:

1. Your child is confiding something really important to you. Instead of giving them your full attention, you prioritized cooking.

This was obviously something of great significance to your son - to take 30 minutes to talk it out with him and make sure he's okay is the least he...

If that would have ended up ruining your dinner, so be it. Cancel the dinner, your son is more important.

2. "Growing up in a very backhanded r__ist and anti-LGBTQ family and not following those beliefs,

I raised kids to know that everyone is an equal no matter what and so if needed,

I didn’t want them to come out to me unless they were trans so that I could support them in transitioning."

What??? Especially if you live somewhere r__ist/anti-LGBTQ area, your son needs reassurance and love from home, not just an "I don't care".

Stop treating your son's sexuality as an inconvenience to you. You're really not the main character here.

3. You told your brother and sister (and their families? ) that your son is gay when he hasn't come out to them yet?

You essentially outed him to half his extended family. This is such an egregious TA move,

especially if you live in an area/family that is known to be anti-LGBTQ.

That alone would be enough to make this YTA. You don't seem to realize that being gay is more than just "a preference in who you date".

In a society where gay people are routinely made fun of, harassed, abused, stereotyped, or fetishized, realizing you're gay is a huge emotional rollercoaster,

especially when you're a teenager trying to figure out who you are and how that relates to who you're interested in. Your son is no exception.

What he's going through is hard, and you made it harder by being callous. I sincerely hope you realize how wrong you acted and apologize profusely,

both for how you reacted to him coming out and for outing him to your family. Don't expect him to forgive you anytime soon though.

[Reddit User] − Yes, YTA. You're well-intentioned, and I get the message you're trying to send him - i. e. that he has nothing to worry about - but you...

It's a big deal for him. He was really nervous, it's a huge part of his identity, and he will have to come out time and time again throughout his...

Sometimes - like at school, for example - it'll be to people far more intimidating than you.

So yes, your reaction really matters - and showing understanding that this is nerve-wracking and really important to him, is really important.

You didn't do that. Coming out is also a big deal because the days of non-prejudice are far from over, even if it's no longer so publicly acceptable.

Schoolkids are cruel, for a start. "Fag" and "gay" are still really, really common insults.

Gay bashings still happen. Go onto any corner of the internet and there's horrible people saying horrible things.

How many gay couples do you see holding hands in the street? Even in the USA, one in every three adults thinks gay people shouldn't marry.

Here's an easy guide for any parent if your teenager Comes Out:

* I love you

* Big hug

* Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me

* I'm looking forward to meeting a future partner when the time comes

* Who else knows? Do you want me to keep it a secret, or do you want me to tell someone?

* Go do the dishes.

Some people view the situation as NAH or NTA, appreciating OP’s non-judgmental stance.

Substantial-Fox-4905 − NAH. Your attitude is spot on for good parenting - sexuality isn't something that someone should have to "come out" about these days

and you've made it clear in the last that coming out isn't required to you because it makes no difference to you in your relationship with them.

But it was obviously a big deal to him and he likely feels like your response was dismissive.

Sit down with him and re explain why you responded the way you did.

Include the fact you were very busy at the time so not prepared for an important conversation like this and apologise.

Then remind him how his sexuality is not a factor for you because you love him no matter what.

AkiliosTheWolf − NTA. This is the exact reaction I want from my parents when I come out.

In the end, this story reminds us that love is unconditional, but delivery matters. A quick brush-off during a hectic moment can sting deeply when someone’s pouring out their heart.

Do you think the mom’s stance was fair in emphasizing equality without fanfare, or did she miss the chance to celebrate her son’s courage? How would you handle a similar bombshell mid-dinner prep? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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