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Mother Takes Kids Abroad After Ex-Husband’s Passport Gets Revoked For Child Support, Is She In The Wrong?

by Annie Nguyen
December 19, 2025
in Social Issues

Co-parenting after a divorce can be challenging, especially when one parent refuses to fulfill their financial responsibilities. This woman’s ex-husband has a history of not paying child support, despite being able to do so, using it as a tactic to control her.

When she planned a trip abroad with their kids, he agreed but failed to ensure his passport was in order, leading to him being denied at the airport.

She proceeded with the trip, following the legal agreement, but now her family is divided on whether she should have given him a heads-up about his passport. Was she wrong for not warning him, or did he create his own problems? Keep reading to see what others think of her actions.

A mother takes her kids on a trip abroad after her ex-husband’s passport is revoked, and he complains about her not informing him

Mother Takes Kids Abroad After Ex-Husband’s Passport Gets Revoked For Child Support, Is She In The Wrong?
not the actual photo

'AITA for not telling my ex his passport was revoked and causing him to miss his flight?'

My ex and I have been divorced for 2 years. We have 2 kids (8m, 5f).

Everything was great until our daughter was born, and then it’s like a switch flipped and he was a completely different person.

I held out for as long as I could, but when he began an affair, I filed for divorce.

He fought me every step and it took over a year to finalize. During the divorce I was awarded primary custody.

He was ordered to pay support, which he has never done.

I don't need it, but it would be nice to have it to save for the kids, so I did sign up for enforcement.

I don't badger him about it. I know to him it's a way to try to get me to talk to him, so I just let enforcement do their thing.

Since he’s so far behind, they have suspended just about everything they can.

They send notices to him when this happens, but I’m sure he doesn’t open them.

I am a 1st gen American and most of my extended family still lives abroad.

My grandmother recently passed away earlier this year and I decided I wanted to visit my family with my kids and see her resting place.

Ex and I had some back and forth because I need permission from him to leave the country.

He agreed but made a point to tell me that he feels now is a good time to take a vacation

and that he was always planning to visit my family’s country.

I was already anticipating this because following us is something he does EVERY time I take the kids on a trip.

My lawyer drafted a document to be signed and notarized

that I was being given permission to take our kids out of the country for the specific dates.

She also included a clause that he has up until 72 hours prior to the day of travel to revoke his permission. He agreed.

The day arrives for us to leave, and I get to the airport with the kids 3 hours before our flight.

Things go smoothly and I take the kids to a diner to grab some breakfast.

Ex arrives much later, and as we’re finishing up I get a call from him.

Turns out his passport was revoked due to lack of CS payment.

He was denied at check in and there’s no way he can get his passport reinstated without paying his arrears in full.

He said that since he can’t go, he no longer gives me permission to take them.

I reminded him that we are past the 72 hrs for him to deny my travel request.

He said that he was going to inform an officer that I was trying to kidnap his children.

I told him to do whatever he felt was necessary.

Officers did show up at the gate to figure out what was going on, but I had the notarized agreement with me, so they sent us on our way.

He kept spamming my phone non stop until we got on the plane, where I was able to turn it off and get some peace for the flight.

While we were in the air he called my brother to complain (we met through him and they’re still friends)

and I have now been given an earful about how cruel it was for me to continue

with the trip knowing he wouldn’t be able to follow us, and that I didn’t tell him on purpose.

My mother told him to stay out of it and that it’s no longer my responsibility to remind him to open his mail,

but some extended family agree with my brother.

I don’t think I’m the AH for continuing our trip; but I am questioning

whether I’m an AH for not giving him a heads up that he should check his passport.

I didn’t know it was revoked for sure, but I suspected. AITAH?

Edit to add because I keep seeing this and I can’t keep up with the comments!

He can absolutely afford CS. He is self-employed (hence no garnishment unfortunately), but does well.

Him not paying is solely a control tactic. He was NOT happy about the divorce.

Now he does whatever he thinks will “punish” me for going through with it. That includes purposely withholding support.

However, I make decent money (enough to pay bills, put a little savings away for the kids,

and take them to do fun stuff a couple times a year) - so it really doesn’t affect me.

He knows that the money would go right to the kids savings accounts, but expects me to beg him for it.

Eventually it will catch up to him and he’ll have to pay it some way or other;

it’s just him prolonging the inevitable and making things more difficult for himself.

Also, I don’t know why this isn’t clear (at least for 1 person that keeps falsely stating it over and over on different comments),

but we were NOT going on vacation together. At all. Nothing was planned together.

This was solely a trip for me and the kids.

The document stated it was for me and the kids and that I would be taking full responsibility for them.

It was not and never was a “WE” are taking the kids on vacation, that was made extremely clear to him and he understood.

So him being unable to leave the country for HIS vacation had absolutely no bearing on OUR trip

as they were two distinctly separate travel arrangements.

In this case, OP made a decision to go ahead with a planned trip with her children, despite the complications surrounding her ex-husband’s passport status.

From a legal standpoint, OP followed the terms outlined in the notarized agreement with her ex, which allowed him 72 hours to revoke permission for the trip. Given that her ex-husband did not do so within the allotted time frame, OP was within her rights to proceed with the travel plans.

Emotionally, the situation is more complicated. OP’s ex-husband’s reaction, expressing anger and accusing OP of “kidnapping” their children, appears to be fueled by feelings of frustration and powerlessness, likely stemming from the unresolved issues between them, such as the ongoing child support dispute.

Emotional responses after a divorce can often be magnified, especially when there are lingering feelings of resentment or a perceived loss of control.

In this case, OP’s ex-husband’s behavior seems to reflect this emotional tension. He might feel hurt or rejected by the changes in their family dynamics, which is not uncommon post-divorce.

OP, on the other hand, was likely motivated by a desire to protect herself and her children from ongoing emotional manipulation, particularly given her ex-husband’s history of withholding child support as a form of control.

Her decision to proceed with the trip, despite knowing he might have issues with it, could be seen as an attempt to move forward with her own life and take care of her children without being bogged down by past conflicts.

The question of whether OP should have alerted her ex-husband to the possibility of his passport issues is understandable.

While she may not have known for certain that his passport had been revoked, it’s reasonable to wonder if a brief communication, even if it was speculative, might have helped avoid some of the conflict. However, given the ongoing tension and her ex-husband’s tendency to manipulate situations,

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

This group agrees that the ex-husband’s actions, including not paying child support and ignoring official notifications, led to the consequences he’s facing

ForwardPlenty − NTA. Some people hate that there are consequences to his actions.

He is the one who didn't pay his child support, thinking that he was somehow punishing you.

Child support is for the children, so his not paying makes him an a__hole, since they are innocents in all this.

The fact that he got his passport revoked is entirely on him.

He can moan and complain about it but it all comes back to his actions.

NeeliSilverleaf − NTA. You and your lawyer played this well. You're using these antics to revisit custody arrangements, yes?

He made a false police report, is in arrears on child support, has been harassing you, he's showing himself to be a danger.

Dismal_Poet_3926 − Not the a__hole, he's just mad that he didn't get his way.

He's definitely never going to allow you to take another trip with the kids without him following through.

You may even need to go back to court to get him to stop and to establish a pattern of behavior

Jodenaje − NTA It is not your responsibility to keep track of his passport.

He would have received official communication of some sort advising of the block on his passport.

Disregarding his mail is 100% on him.

Furthermore, if he had actually bothered to pay even some of the child support, his passport wouldn’t even be suspended.

You have to be significantly in arrears for it to get to that point!

These commenters stress that the ex-husband’s issues are his own responsibility, from neglecting his obligations to attempting to follow the OP on trips

Glassgrl1021 − NTA. Ex needs to put on his big boy pants and read his mail. You aren’t his mom.

2cents0fucks − NTA, these are all the consequences of his own actions:

1) He dropped the mask and cheated once your daughter was born,

causing you to divorce him (which he dragged out as long as he could because he's a petulant child who can't stand to lose).

2) He refuses to pay child support to try to force you to have contact with him.

3) He doesn't open his mail? (Your mom is half wrong: he is a grown ass man and that was never your responsibility.)

My guess is that he doesn't want to deal with all the notifications of the violations of his CS orders,

because his evil plot to force you to have to stay in contact with him didn't work.

4) He follows you on vacation like some lost puppy? Honestly, you should shut this down.

I think in his mind, with fighting the divorce, not paying child support, and going along with you on vacations,

he can still pretend to himself that you are a couple and a family, despite living in different homes.

Tell your brother, ex is an ex and no longer your circus or your monkeys.

That you're not his secretary or his wife any longer, and it's his responsibility to do adult things like open his mail and pay his child support.

But also that you have been divorced for two years, and it is time ex found his own life instead of riding your coattails:

he is more than welcome to plan his own vacation with the kids. He is not welcome to crash yours.

Inevitable_Speed_710 − Tell the flying monkeys including your brother to F off.

They have no issue with him not paying child support, or putting you through a rough divorce over him cheating

BUT they villainize you for not telling him his passport may or may not be valid? !?

avid-learner-bot − NTA, really? He thought you'd play travel agent too?

This group emphasizes that the ex-husband’s behavior is disruptive and controlling

kikivee612 − NTA He was only going on the trip to torment and harass you.

He has no business going anywhere that you are with the kids in your time unless it’s a school or sporting event.

If the court knew he was following you every time you took the kids in a trip, they would shut that down.

Considering his arrears, he should be careful because the next thing they’ll do is put out a warrant for his arrest.

Heraonolympia123 − Your brother is telling you off for a natural consequence of his buddy's refusal to pay for his children,

your brother's nephew and neice. Your brother has the wrong priorities

and it shows a lack of critical thinking to complain about you instead of telling his mate

to pay up and stop causing problems for his children.

WhatevUsayStnCldStvA − NTA. This was absolutely brilliant.

You and your lawyer covered absolutely everything. He clearly likes having control. He didn’t get it. Well done

What do you think? Was she wrong for not warning him? Did she do the right thing, or should she have warned him? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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