When you’re asked to babysit, you expect the hardest part will be keeping the kid entertained, not navigating accusations of sabotage for offering lunch. But one Reddit user found herself in exactly that spot.
After agreeing to watch her neighbor’s 7-year-old son as a favor, she followed all the rules: no candy, no almonds, and lunch packed by his mom. But when the child asked to try her homemade Indian food, he loved it so much he barely touched his sandwich. Later that evening, his mother stormed back, furious that her son had eaten “ethnic food” she had “never even heard of.”
So, was the babysitter wrong for letting him eat? Or did this mom cross the line by making cultural food into an insult?
One woman faced her neighbor’s wrath after sharing vegan roti and brinjal sabzi with her son while babysitting, unaware it violated her vegan transition plan
This conflict touches on two sensitive areas: food boundaries for children and cultural bias. From a child-safety standpoint, the key responsibility for any caregiver is to respect allergies and clearly communicated restrictions.
In this case, the parent mentioned only an almond allergy and a candy ban, which were both respected. Pediatric guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes that caregivers must know about allergies and medical restrictions, but otherwise feeding children a variety of healthy foods is acceptable and even encouraged .
Roti and brinjal (eggplant) sabzi are plant-based dishes. Unless they contained hidden allergens or animal products, which they did not, they fit within a vegan diet. Concerns that “spicy food” could make a child ill are largely unfounded.
While some children may dislike heat, research shows that spices like turmeric, cumin, and coriander are not harmful when used in moderation, and introducing diverse flavors early can support healthy eating habits .
Where the issue becomes more complicated is in the emotional and cultural response. The neighbor’s framing of the meal as “ethnic food” being automatically unsafe reflects a prejudice rather than a nutritional reality.
Studies have documented that food from non-Western traditions is sometimes unfairly stigmatized in school or community settings, which can contribute to cultural exclusion .
Clinical psychologist Dr. Jenny Dyckman explains: “Parents need to communicate boundaries clearly, and caregivers should follow them. But children benefit from trying different cuisines. When food choices are labeled ‘foreign’ or ‘dangerous’ without basis, it often signals bias, not real concern” .
The most practical takeaway is communication. If a parent wants their child to eat only the food they provide, they must say so explicitly. If a sitter is unsure, the safe choice is to clarify before offering alternatives. But in this case, the caregiver honored the stated restrictions and introduced a healthy, vegan dish that the child enjoyed which aligns with expert advice on expanding children’s palates.
See what others had to share with OP:
These Reddit users called Linda’s reaction racist, citing her “ethnic food” complaint
Some praised the healthy, kid-approved meal
One commenter suspected jealousy over Ben’s preference
This group emphasized Linda’s vague instructions
Some Redditors noted the vegan compliance and kid-feeding skill.
OP gave a child safe, vegan food he loved, yet was accused of endangering him because it wasn’t familiar to his mom. In the end, Reddit agreed: OP is not the a**hole.
But it leaves an open question, should OP continue helping Linda, knowing her efforts will likely be criticized, or is it healthier to step back entirely?
What do you think? Would you babysit again after this, or close the kitchen door for good?
