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“Not the Smartest Gal”: A Rude Coffee Shop Customer Gets the Politest Reality Check

by Carolyn Mullet
December 29, 2025
in Social Issues

We have all been there, standing in a long line for our morning caffeine fix, just hoping for a quick and easy transaction. Most of us are on our best behavior, but every now and then, someone decides to treat their barista like a character in a background scene rather than a real person. It is a common part of the service industry, though it never makes it any easier to handle.

A clever Starbucks barista recently shared a story that has everyone on the internet cheering for the “service side” of the counter. When two customers assumed they could say whatever they wanted under the cover of a foreign language, they didn’t realize they were speaking to someone who understood every single word. What followed was a lesson in etiquette that was served with a side of grace and a very perfect cup of coffee.

It is a gentle reminder that you truly never know who you are talking to.

The Story

“Not the Smartest Gal”: A Rude Coffee Shop Customer Gets the Politest Reality Check
Not the actual photo

AITA for replying to a rude customer in the language they were speaking in front of me?

I'm a slave to the siren (a Starbucks barista). I'm pretty decent with most customers and I'm pretty good at having

convos with customers and sensing when someone just wants the line moved forward. Anyway, I was on register the other

day, taking people's orders. Two older men were ordering from me. One of them said "a coffee, black", so

I just asked to clarify the size he wanted and the roast (blonde, medium or dark) to which he first

spoke to his friend and said, rudely "Nou zeg, niet de slimste meid die hier werkt, hè? Ze zouden

en beetje kunnen leeren om hun hersenen te gebruiken". Which is Dutch and translates roughly to "Wow, (this is)

not the smartest gal that works here, huh? They could learn to use their brains a little" Then he told

me he wanted a medium dark roast. So I nodded and then replied to him in Dutch, asking him the

regular questions I would to complete an order (anything else to eat or drink today?, What was your name for

your other drinks? Do you have a Starbucks rewards card?). I was perfectly pleasant and smiley for the rest of

the transaction but just conducted it in Dutch. He answered the questions in English but his eyes were bulging out

of his head. His friend looked kind of worried but burst out laughing when they walked away. I realize it

might not be the best look for someone in service, and when my coworker asked me what it was about

and I explained, she seemed kinda confused as to why I would do that. I don't think it was an

a__hole move because I was still nice to the guy but I definitely called him out and made it clear

to him that I'd understood the stuff he was saying. But maybe I shouldn't have because of the position I

was in at the time (like customer service?). AITA?

Oh, there is nothing quite as satisfying as a “polite” call-out, is there? It feels so good to see someone realize they have been caught in the act of being unkind. As someone who has worked in service, I know how hard it can be to keep a smile on your face when a customer is being less than gracious.

The fact that the barista didn’t get angry or rude back is what makes this story so wonderful. She stayed professional and kept her job safe while letting the customer know that she was much sharper than he gave her credit for. It is such a delightful “I speak the language” moment that proves how small the world really is. We could all use a little more of that quiet confidence when things get sticky at work.

Expert Opinion

This interaction touches on a fascinating social phenomenon often called “linguistic exclusion.” When people speak a language they think others don’t understand, they feel a sense of privacy and power. They think they are in a private bubble, which can sometimes bring out a person’s less-than-pleasant side.

According to research shared by Psychology Today, people often use “private” languages in public spaces to bond with their group, sometimes at the expense of those around them. This can lead to a false sense of security where manners are forgotten. When that bubble is popped by a bilingual speaker, the resulting shock is often quite intense because the person realizes their “hidden” thoughts are actually on full display.

A report by Healthline on the benefits of bilingualism notes that speaking multiple languages actually enhances your “executive function” and cognitive flexibility. So, the customer’s comment about the barista not being “the smartest” was actually scientifically backward. By speaking Dutch and English simultaneously, the barista was showing off some serious brainpower.

Dr. Ellen Bialystok, a leader in language research, notes that the bilingual brain is often better at multitasking and switching between complex tasks. This is a skill that baristas use every single day as they juggle orders, milk temperatures, and social interactions.

At the end of the day, respect is a universal language that doesn’t need a translator. Whether we are in our hometown or halfway across the world, being kind to those who are helping us is always the best way to use our brains. The father in this story learned that lesson in a way he likely won’t forget anytime soon.

Community Opinions

The community was largely in favor of the barista’s clever handling of the situation. Most readers found the customer’s behavior unacceptable and the barista’s response a perfect balance of professional and pointed.

Common ground was found in the idea that the barista stayed professional while being a “savage.”

ilovehockeysosomuch − NTA - to the power of infinity. Who says this?... Fast food is rough.

To survive I recommend looking at it as live theatre. He probably is going home to 101 Dalmatian puppies that he is going to turn into a jacket.

cstatus94 − NTA at all. It would be one thing if you responded rudely back since in customer service that isn't great But you just let them know subtle you...

Blooper_Chu − NTA, if he can talk crap about you in another language why would it be offensive for YOU to say something back in Dutch that wasn't even rude?

A few readers pointed out the irony of the customer questioning someone’s intelligence in a bilingual situation.

MagicMauiWowee − NTA you were simply making sure he understood the questions you were asking, since he started speaking Dutch

and didn’t give you an answer. You should never use another language to trash talk someone. He got caught and was upset at it.

Jockle305 − NTA The guy was being a p__ck and you called him out in the most polite way possible.

There’s no need to give crap to service employees who are trying to help. He also isn’t as special as he thinks for speaking a foreign language. Great job.

One commenter wondered if these particular rude customers might have a reputation in their city.

[Reddit User] − I have to ask what city this in, because I know two Dutch guys who constantly use Dutch to trash talk customer service. They've gotta be the...

stealthdawg − NTA Good story for r/ispeakthelanguage I don't get why he would even say that if he hadn't told you his size/roast. ... While he was still rude, that...

There were some users who felt the story was too one-sided to be a real conflict.

silasfelinus − This is not an AITA post. ... there's no way a reasonable person would consider this to be an a__hole behavior.

[Reddit User] − Why would you even think youre the a__hole in this situation?

[Reddit User] − YTA for posting something this dumb to try and get internet attention and appear a savage when you're clearly not TA.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

Dealing with rude comments in front of your face can be a real challenge for your patience. If you ever find yourself in a situation where someone is talking about you as if you aren’t there, take a moment to pause. Responding with anger often just feeds into the conflict, but responding with calm confidence can change the whole mood.

If you happen to speak the language they are using, a gentle and polite “switch” to that language is a very elegant way to set a boundary. It tells the other person that you are listening and that their words have an impact. It also gives them a chance to correct their behavior without a loud argument breaking out. Maintaining your professionalism while standing up for yourself is a true skill that will serve you well in any job.

Conclusion

It is a small world after all, and you truly never know who might be listening to your “private” conversations. This story shows us that kindness and respect are important even when we think no one understands us. It is always better to assume the best of people and treat every interaction as a chance to be pleasant.

Have you ever caught someone talking about you in another language? Or have you been the one who had a bit of a “oops” moment when traveling abroad? We would love to hear your funny and insightful stories about language mix-ups and the importance of manners in the comments below.

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet is in charge of planning and content process management, business development, social media, strategic partnership relations, brand building, and PR for DailyHighlight. Before joining Dailyhighlight, she served as the Vice President of Editorial Development at Aubtu Today, and as a senior editor at various magazines and media agencies.

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