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Parents Charge Daughter Rent, Then Demand She Give Up Her Room For Her Brother’s Weekend Visit

by Layla Bui
October 15, 2025
in Social Issues

Living with family as an adult can be tricky. It’s a delicate balance between gratitude and independence, especially when you start paying to stay under their roof. Still, it’s not unreasonable to expect some basic respect in return.

That’s what one woman thought when her parents suddenly decided to charge her rent right before her brother’s weekend visit. She’d always been told to give up her room when he came home, but now things felt different. Paying rent meant she had rights, didn’t it?

Her parents didn’t see it that way, and what started as a simple disagreement quickly turned into a battle of principles.

A woman paying rent to live with her parents refused to give up her bedroom for her brother’s weekend visit

Parents Charge Daughter Rent, Then Demand She Give Up Her Room For Her Brother’s Weekend Visit
not the actual photo

'AITA For not wanting to give up my bedroom to my brother when he visits for the weekend when I'm paying rent for the room?'

I (F) am the eldest of two siblings. My brother lives out of state and comes home frequently to visit.

I used to live out of state, but moved back to the area a year ago and have been living in an apartment for the last year.

When staying with our parents for holidays (etc.), the expectation has always been

that I'd be okay with the couch or staying with my aunt when my brother come to town.

I recently moved back in with my parents because I am saving for a house and had some health issues get in the way of me doing my job.

I was planning on spending the weekend at my aunt's when my brother came to town next weekend, but two days ago

my parents stated they wanted to charge me rent while living with them.

They are only charging me $250, which is honestly very low, but my mindset has changed about vacating for the weekend if I'm paying rent.

I recently explained to my dad that I changed my mind about spending the night at my aunt's.

If I'm paying rent, I am paying for the room. He is not happy I am bring this up about a week before my brother coming into town,

but they did not mention charging me rent until two days ago.

He thinks I should just go to my aunt's and am being difficult. I got frustrated and said.

"If I'm paying rent, then I'm paying for the room. I'm not leaving." My father said I was being selfish and should think about my brother. AITA?

OP later wrote an update:

UPDATE: Figured I needed to give the awesome people who helped me an update!

My parents refused to talk about the issue the first night. They said "their way of the highway."

Thank you all for telling me your insights, because I had the courage to stand my ground.

A few days later after I told my parents I was indeed looking for another apartment

because I wasn't going to stand for favoritism or changing rules whenever it suited them,

I got the room and had my parents sign a rental agreement.

My brother was a bit immature once he found out and uninvited my boyfriend and I to his friend's party the weekend he was coming home.

I called him out on it and told him he was being immature. After explaining the situation and a little back in forth,

the air was cleared and we had a good weekend as a family.

FYI, my brother is super tall. He is 6'4,'' so partially explains the couch thing, but my couch

and furniture were used to furnish the newly finished basement (looks like a loft apartment downstairs) and it is 8ft long, so no excuse this time around.

I have newfound confidence. Learned an important lesson as well.

Even if your family loves you, it doesn't me they aren't capable of hurting you. Thank you all again for helping me!

Money can easily shift family dynamics from emotional to transactional, often faster than people expect.

According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and author of Don’t You Know Who I Am?, “When parents begin charging adult children rent, they move from a purely familial relationship into a partial landlord-tenant role. That changes expectations of space, privacy, and autonomy.”

She explains that blurred boundaries create resentment: “Parents want control, while the adult child expects respect as a paying tenant. Without clear communication, both sides feel wronged.”

Family therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, notes that clarity is the real issue here. “Once money is exchanged, the terms of living together must be defined in writing if possible to avoid emotional manipulation disguised as family duty.”

Legally, paying rent can even grant tenant rights, depending on state laws. Tenants cannot typically be forced out without notice even by family. It’s not just a matter of respect, but of legal standing.

In OP’s case, her parents wanted to keep both the rent and the right to override her space. Psychologists say that’s the kind of double standard that erodes trust and creates lifelong tension in families.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users declared her not the jerk, arguing her rent payment secures her room, not a couch or her aunt’s place

peregrine_throw − NTA Your brother can take the couch, "it doesn't need to be difficult, dad."

Regardless of the rent talk, you took the couch when you were both visitors

(I don't know why he was given priority to the guest room as normally it would be FCFS. Is it a body size thing?);

now that you actually *live* in the house, it's your room and not a guest room you need to vacate,

and you shouldn't have to sleep in a different house just because someone's visiting (wth).

-Gman_ − NTA - if you are paying rent, it’s your room to manage. Can’t have it both ways. Either you pay rent and it’s your room or it’s no...

Some called out the parents’ blatant favoritism, dubbing the brother the “golden child” and urging her to stand her ground

hsy1234 − NTA. Parents are clearly playing favorites here. Sorry you’re going through this

[Reddit User] − NTA We know who the golden child is and it isn’t you. Paying rent for a room they want to give to someone else at will?

Stand your ground! Brother can park himself on the couch or at the aunt’s house.

This folk offered a strategic compromise

mfruitfly − NTA. Tell your parents that you will either be staying home and in your room, or they can start charging you rent AFTER this visit,

in which case you are happy to go to your aunt's, but remind them that once they charge rent,

they can never ask you to vacate the room again. Let them know they decided to charge you rent,

they decided to tell you a week before your brother came, and they can "think about your brother"

by deciding not to charge you rent until after his visit. Problem solved.

Long_Squash1762 − NTA you are paying rent now

While this user stressed that rent means control, not parental whims

ProfPlumDidIt − NTA. They can get their rent payment or they can choose who gets to use the room. Not both.

Another warned against mixing family and money

Tessa_Kamoda − NTA. Now you are learning why it is not a good idea to mix FaMiLy and money.

Oil and water can be used to make a delicious salad dressing but they usually don't mix very well.

Do yourself a favor and do NOT give your parents the rent money in cash.

Use a cash app, a transfer into his account, write a check and do NOT forget to state that it is 'rent 11/2022' or 'rent 03/2023'.

If push comes to shove it establishes that you were living at home as a tenant, not a familymember, thus giving you tenant rights.

like not being kicked out without notice just because you changed your mind

to not vacate your room just because the 'golden child', the heir, comes to visit.

Or can you explain it to me why it was always you who had to sleep on the couch, had to vacate the premises, why not alternate between the two...

And this commenter suggested a lock for her room, emphasizing her landlord-tenant leverage

oy-cunt- − NTA. They put themselves in the position of landlord. ou are paying for your space (which is completely reasonable for parents to request),

therefore it's no longer their space to lend out at their own convenience (which as landlords is delusional to ask).

I would pay them the 250, put a sturdy lock on my new digs and enjoy my vacation away from these entitled landlords.

So what do you think? Was this daughter right to stand her ground, or should family courtesy still outweigh money matters?

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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