Sleep is one of those things you don’t fully appreciate until you’re running on empty, especially when pregnancy, long shifts, and constant stress pile up at the same time.
When you’re exhausted to the point of feeling sick, even small disruptions can feel overwhelming, and support from the people closest to you becomes crucial.
One woman found herself pushed past her limit when her partner seemed unaware, or unwilling, to help her get the rest she desperately needed.
A simple morning spiraled into frustration, raised voices, and a wave of guilt she didn’t expect to feel.
This situation is what happens when extreme exhaustion, pregnancy, and uneven household effort collide in a one-bedroom apartment.
The OP is working 12-hour night shifts, 14 weeks pregnant, in dental pain, and running on almost no sleep.
Her boyfriend, a stay-at-home dad who stays up late gaming, sleeps in while she’s shuttling out for breakfast and then somehow “doesn’t realize” the kids are screaming and firing toy guns right outside the room where she’s trying to sleep.
From her perspective, she isn’t being dramatic; she’s at her limit. From his side, he likely feels attacked and unappreciated.
Being a SAHD is real work, and he may tell himself he “deserves” downtime at night. But in practice, he slept, scrolled, and reacted defensively when asked to take the kids out or at least keep them quiet. That’s not partnership, that’s opting out when things get uncomfortable.
Medically and psychologically, her blow-up is very predictable.
First-trimester fatigue is not just “being tired”; rising progesterone and physical changes make intense exhaustion extremely common, and major health systems like Mayo Clinic explicitly advise pregnant people to rest as much as they can and nap when needed.
Sleep loss itself also wrecks emotional regulation: a 2022 study in Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience found that just 24 hours of acute sleep deprivation significantly increases negative emotional states such as anxiety, fatigue, confusion, and depression. Frontiers
Sleep scientist Matt Walker put it very simply in his TED Talk on sleep and emotions: “It’s not just your imagination, you’re more irritable when you’re low on zzzzs.”
In other words, her irritability is not a character flaw; it’s a predictable human response to chronic sleep debt layered on top of pregnancy.
On a social level, this also fits what researchers call the “mental load”: the invisible planning, anticipating, and managing that usually lands on women, especially once kids enter the picture.
A 2024 analysis from Sciences Po notes that the arrival of a first child often increases this load and that mothers disproportionately end up planning and organizing family life, even when roles are supposedly shared.
The OP isn’t just working nights; she’s also thinking about everyone’s breakfast, everyone’s noise level, and everyone’s feelings, while no one seems to be thinking about her sleep.
When she’s a bit more rested, she and her boyfriend need a calm, explicit agreement: fixed “protected sleep” hours after her shifts where he is fully responsible for the kids, plus an honest talk about his late-night gaming and what being a SAHD actually entails.
He doesn’t have to be perfect, but he does have to be awake, engaged, and considerate when his pregnant partner is working nights to keep the whole family afloat.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
This group of Redditors agreed OP wasn’t the villain in the argument, but they were baffled by the life decisions surrounding it.
These commenters emphasized that OP isn’t the problem; the partner’s total lack of responsibility is.
This group of Redditors believed OP isn’t wrong for snapping, but is wrong for enabling the entire situation.
![[Reddit User] − ESH. Why are you having another kid with this man?](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/wp-editor-1763369198636-41.webp "Pregnant Mom Asks BF To Take Kids Out So She Can Sleep, He Gets Angry Instead")
This blow-up didn’t come from nowhere, it came from a pregnant, sleep-starved partner carrying the weight of a night-shift job, childcare, and mounting exhaustion.
The OP finally snapped because no one can function without rest, especially with kids screaming and a partner glued to his phone.
Do you think her frustration was justified, or did she push too hard in the moment? How would you handle this level of burnout? Share your take below.
