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Pregnant Woman Calls Out MIL For Ignoring Boundaries, Everyone At Baby Shower Watches

by Leona Pham
December 14, 2025
in Social Issues

Certain life events are meant to be celebrated with loved ones, but what happens when family members don’t respect your personal space? Even in moments of happiness, crossing boundaries can trigger intense emotions.

A Redditor shared her story of dealing with in-laws who repeatedly ignored her wishes during her pregnancy. A particular incident at her baby shower made her take matters into her own hands and it didn’t go unnoticed. Scroll down to discover how a single reaction turned a joyous event into a family showdown.

A pregnant woman struggles with her MIL constantly touching her belly despite warnings

Pregnant Woman Calls Out MIL For Ignoring Boundaries, Everyone At Baby Shower Watches
not the actual photo

AITA for talking to my MIL like a kid when she touched my belly?

My husband and I are expecting our first baby (yei!), we've had some ups and downs with his parents

Because they don't understand boundaries, but overal,l it's been really good.

For some context, I (24F) come from an abusive home and I can't stand being touched,

Before getting pregnant, this wasn't a problem with my in-laws, but now that I'm carrying a baby,

it's been awful with my MIL and my SIL because they think they can touch my belly whenever they want to.

Both my husband and I have talked to them, and said that while I would rather they don't touch me at all,

I can understand this is a big thing as a family,

so I would simply like to be asked instead of just feeling a hand at random times, but they rarely do it,

so I just move when they touch me.

Now, onto the subject, a week ago, my best friend threw me a baby shower

and I invited my in-laws and since I don't have any blood family left,

we let them invite 10 more people, which included aunts-cousins and my husband's grandparents.

It was an overall lovely moment, but at one time, I was sitting eating cake

while my MIL talked with my FIL's sister, and while telling her something about the baby,

she put her hand in my belly and idk, I just didn't like it. So I took her hand, removed it

and said ''No, no, you know I've told you not to touch without asking firs.

You know how to ask first, do you? It's easy!'' with the most condescending voice I had.

Both my MIL and my FIL's sister looked at me, shocked,

and then my FIL's sister laughed but my MIL got red in the face.

When it was done, my MIL approached me and said that what I did wasn't nice and she just ''slipped''

so I didn't had to treat her like a kid. I just smiled and said that she touching me

after being asked a million times not to was a kid behavior and I just called her out on that.

She left, very sad, and when we got home,

my FIL called my husband and said he would love for both of us to apologize to each other, but I said no.

So he called me an AH.

Pregnancy brings an intensely personal transformation: as the body changes to nurture another life, it becomes a space where physical touch is no longer casual but deeply significant.

Most people can relate to the discomfort of unwelcome contact or the quiet tension that arises when their boundaries are ignored. For someone with a history of trauma, this discomfort goes beyond the physical; it touches on safety, autonomy, and trust.

In this story, the expectant mother’s reaction to her mother‑in‑law’s touch at her baby shower stemmed not from pettiness but from a profound need for respect and consent.

At its core, the emotional dynamics of this situation involve layered histories and evolving needs. The OP’s past growing up in an abusive home has shaped her sense of safety and how violations of physical boundaries affect her.

Pregnancy adds another layer: research shows that a pregnant person’s peripersonal space, the brain’s representation of the space immediately around the body, expands as the body changes, which may instinctively increase sensitivity to unexpected touch.

This isn’t simply about discomfort; it’s about an embodied instinct to protect oneself and one’s unborn child. Despite clearly expressed requests for her in‑laws to ask before touching, the OP repeatedly experienced dismissals of her expressed boundary.

Her response, framed in a surprisingly harsh, child‑like tone, was a way of making the intangible idea of consent concrete in the moment.

Many mental health professionals emphasize how critical boundaries are to psychological safety and relational health.

Licensed therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, MSW, LCSW, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, explains that defining and asserting limits is a form of self‑respect that helps people preserve their emotional well‑being and communicate their needs clearly in relationships.

Tawwab emphasizes that when people name their boundaries and enforce them consistently, they empower themselves and reduce conflict born from resentment.

Connecting this insight to the OP’s experience helps illuminate why her reaction was psychologically grounded. Her repeated requests to be asked before someone touched her belly weren’t arbitrary rules; they were essential markers of consent and respect.

Each time those requests were ignored, her emotional discomfort and sense of violation accumulated. Her choice to address it directly, even awkwardly, was less about humiliating her MIL and more about creating a clear threshold: “If you want a connection with me, you must respect my boundaries.”

This story invites a broader reflection: boundaries aren’t just interpersonal rules; they reflect our sense of self-worth and safety. In families, especially around emotionally charged events like pregnancy, maintaining respectful limits can be difficult, but it’s necessary.

For anyone navigating similar situations, a useful approach is to combine firm boundary setting with compassionate communication and to recognize that insistence on consent is not hostility but a form of psychological self‑care.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These commenters cheered OP for firmly enforcing boundaries and calling out MIL

[Reddit User] − NTA. I hate being touched. Everyone thinks being pregnant makes you public property.

Stand your ground, enforce your boundaries, and tell her off every time.

Whit3W0lf − NTA. Sometimes people don't understand when you ask nicely.

My friend grabbed a strangers boob when the stranger touched her belly.

The stranger was shocked and my friend said "oh I thought we were grabbing each other's bodies, my bad!"

puppyfarts99 − NTA The proper response from your MIL would have been, "I'm so sorry, OP.

You're right. You've been very clear about this and I let it slip my mind.

I'll remember to ask permission before touching you in the future. Please forgive me."

There, done and dusted. But instead, she chose to be offended.

mamabear131 − NTA. I was far more dramatic when I was pregnant.

I wore a shirt that said “You can touch my belly if I can punch your face.”

BriefHorror − "Not touching another person is a thing you do all the time.

I won't come see any of you unless you can manage to do something you do every day

and something you've done since meeting me." NTA

BTOB_OT7_Melody − NTA. I don't think anyone appreciates being touched without consent,

let alone someone with an aversion to being touched in the first place.

If someone can't respect your wishes even after being told so many times, they deserve to be called out.

Also, being asked to apologize because 'you both were at fault' is infuriating,

especially when you weren't at fault at all.

I say talk it out with MIL since she's family but you weren't in the wrong here.

Bitter-Conflict-4089 − NTA She has been told multiple times not to touch you without permission.

You were nicer than most people would have been. Since the asking part is too difficult for her.

I would just completely ban touching all together.

Alpha_Barbie − NTA. You have on many occasions asked to not be touched and they’ve ignored that boundary.

You weren’t wrong to call her out in front of your FIL’s sister. Was it slightlyyy combative?

Yes and she deserved it.

BUT, you shouldn’t have to tolerate triggers and swallow your reaction for others to be comfortable.

Reprimanding her in a public way definitely got the point across and I don’t think she’ll be doing it again.

OP, you don’t have to have a traumatic background in order for their to be a valid reason to not want to be touched.

You don’t want to be touched and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Neenknits − NTA. You did that really well. And when the baby comes,

and you give them baby boundaries, they KNOW they had better toe that line!

deaddlikelatin − I bet she did this in a public setting hoping

that the pressure of other people being present would make you uncomfortable saying no.

Do the exact same thing if she pulls this again, and if she gets mad,

tell her you’re just practicing for after the baby is born and they keep doing something after being told no.

If she’s still bothered tell her “Okay. Next time I’ll be sure to use some adult phrasing”

and then next time tell her to f__k off.

These commenters related to their own experiences of unwanted touching and understood OP’s reaction

Consistent-Owl-7849 − NTA. I accidentaly elbowed an old man hard in his gut.

He came from behind and put both hands on my babynest. I was in line to the ATM, and he was a silent stranger.

Too bad for him that I wasn't dressed in my uniform,

he might have not approached me at all had he known I was a soldier at the time.

I had to show security my military id to explain why I reacted so instantly like that.

They also told him off for touching a stranger from behind in line to an ATM.

Why would I not think he was after my money? Stupid old man.

Your MIL is lucky you were so nice. I would be done at that point.

debegray − NTA. I was dreading that aspect of pregnancy

because I'm not comfortable with strangers touching me.

Toward the end, I said something to my husband about being pleasantly surprised that no one had tried it.

He started laughing and said, "Are you really not aware of glaring at strangers who look at your stomach?"

Nope, I was not.

I guess my pre-emptive defense system was working.

sunrise_library − NTA I am a very physically affectionate person,

but even I hated it when people other than my husband would touch my belly without asking.

It's just not okay for people to do that, especially when you've made it known time and time again.

You did what needed to be done, in my opinion.

Your in-laws will get over it, but at least you made your point strongly.

These commenters stressed that consent is crucial and repeated reminders must be respected

Dont-trust-it − NTA. No one has any right to put their hands on you without permission.

MIL failed to adhere to your request many times so you've now told her in a more memorable way.

Good on you for standing up for yourself and calling her out.

Keep this same energy and stand firm with your boundaries or things might get worse when your baby arrives.

[Reddit User] − NTA- I’m tired of people not taking other peoples boundaries seriously just

because it’s not that important to them. If it’s important to you, it should be important to them.

If not, it’s just a huge lack of respect ( intentional or not).

She should be the one apologizing to you for not respecting it

and that moving forward she will respect that boundary. Period.

This baby shower drama shows that even celebratory moments can become boundary battlegrounds. The mom-to-be’s firm, slightly playful reprimand ensured her MIL understood the importance of consent while protecting her own comfort.

Do you think the OP handled the situation well, or could she have approached it differently? How do you navigate family dynamics when love, tradition, and personal boundaries clash? Share your thoughts below and join the conversation because sometimes, baby bumps are serious business.

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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