Redditor Ditches Late ‘Disabled’ Friend For Concert, Fair Or Foul?

A 25-year-old Redditor, gripping concert tickets, faced a crisis when their chronically late 22-year-old friend missed their train, despite knowing the tight schedule and non-refunded tickets. Both neurodiverse, they’d sparred over punctuality before, but with a strained budget, the Redditor boarded alone, later joined by another friend, turning a dream night into a bitter feud.

Furious texts followed, with the late friend crying foul. A few mutual friends claim they should’ve waited, but the consensus leans hard against that.

Redditor faces drama leaving “disabled” late friend behind for concert.

Going to a concert with a friend shouldn’t feel like defusing a bomb, but for this Redditor, it was go-time or bust.

The setup was simple: they snagged budget-friendly train and concert tickets, banking on their friend’s promise to cover snacks.

But when their pal, let’s call her A, missed the train due to her habitual tardiness, the Redditor faced a choice: miss the show or ride solo. They chose the latter, sparking a fallout that’s got Reddit in a tizzy.

A’s chronic lateness, tied to her ADHD, clashed with the Redditor’s need for punctuality, also shaped by their neurodiversity.

Both sides have a point: A feels abandoned, while the Redditor, who fronted all costs, didn’t want their night ruined. It’s a classic case of mismatched expectations.

As Psychology Today notes, “Friendships thrive on mutual respect for each other’s boundaries.” Here, the Redditor set a clear boundary – be on time – while A leaned on her ADHD as an explanation, not an action plan.

This drama taps into a broader issue: navigating friendships when neurodiversity’s in play. A 2023 study from the National Institute of Mental Health found that 20% of adults have some form of neurodivergence, often impacting time management.

Dr. Russell Barkley, a leading ADHD expert, explains, “ADHD is a disorder of doing what you know. It is not a disorder of knowing what to do.” A’s lack of proactive steps left the Redditor in a tough spot, but was boarding the train without her a step too far?

This distinction hits home in the Redditor’s story, where both parties share ADHD but differ in execution. The Redditor prepped with an earlier fake train time and shared tips before, showing they bridged the “knowing” to “doing” gap.

A, however, defaulted to old patterns, turning a fun outing into a blame game. Barkley’s insight underscores that awareness alone isn’t enough, it’s about applying tools to turn intentions into reality, especially when budgets and bonds are on the line.

The Redditor tried workarounds: sharing ticket details, suggesting a later train, but A’s reaction (shouting, sulking) didn’t help. A neutral fix? Open communication pre-trip, setting firm deadlines together. Both could’ve clarified costs and backup plans.

For now, this friendship needs a timeout to reset boundaries. Ultimately, friendships shouldn’t feel like a race against the clock. The Redditor’s choice to prioritize their plans wasn’t heartless; it was practical.

But A’s hurt feelings deserve a nod too. Maybe a coffee chat could mend this rift, or is it time to part ways? Let’s see what Reddit’s saying!

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some argue OP was justified in leaving without their chronically late friend, emphasizing personal responsibility.

Some acknowledge ADHD-related time blindness but stress the friend’s responsibility to manage it.

Others criticize the friend’s entitlement and suggest OP reconsider the friendship or discuss with a therapist.

Some dismiss the friend’s expectations as unreasonable, noting OP’s efforts to accommodate her.

So, was the Redditor’s train-hopping move a bold stand or a friendship fumble? They didn’t want to miss their concert, but A’s left stewing. Was it fair to prioritize their plans, given they paid for everything, or should they have waited, risking the whole night?

How would you handle a friend who’s always late, especially with a disability in the mix? Share your hot takes below, we’re all ears!