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Redditor Refuses To Fund Second Niece’s Dream Trip With Credit Cards, Sparks A Heated Family Argument

by Annie Nguyen
July 22, 2025
in Social Issues

One Reddit user thought they were being more than fair. Years ago, they treated their 16-year-old niece, Elsa, to a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Europe — a school excursion that included extra stops in Amsterdam and Brussels. At the time, life was good. A high-paying job, a healthy savings account, and the freedom to give generously.

But now, years later, life looks very different. After surviving job loss, chronic illness, and crushing debt, the user is finally back on their feet — just in time for their second niece, Anna, to come of age and ask for the same dream trip.

The problem? There’s no money this time around. And when the uncle said no, Anna’s father accused him of playing favorites. What followed was a family standoff that no plane ticket could fix. Here’s the original post from Reddit that set the stage for a fiery family debate:

Redditor Refuses To Fund Second Niece’s Dream Trip With Credit Cards, Sparks A Heated Family Argument

OP’s decision not to fund their niece’s school trip to France with credit cards, after financial hardships, sparked a heated family argument

'Aita For Not Using Credit Cards To Pay For My Niece To Go Abroad On A School Trip To France When I Was Able To Pay For Her Older Sister To Go A Few Years Ago When I Was Financially Much Better Off?'

A few years ago, I had an excellent job and I paid for my then 16yo niece (Elsa) to go on a school trip to France that my brother and his wife could have never afforded, and I few in with her to Amsterdam, we spent 5 days there, took the train to Brussels, spent a day there,

and then I dropped her off to join the start of the school trip. Her little sister (Anna…yes, fake Frozen names) was 8 at the time and I said if she did French in school and did well, I’d pay for her to do it too.

Being vague for privacy reasons company but 3 years later, the company I was working for had significant problems and went bust in a very quick timeframe and there was not even money for redundancy payments.

Despite being an educated and qualified professional, I was a combination of un and underemployed for 2 years before finally getting an OK full time job (which doesn't pay what my old one did). A year into that job, I had to take quite a bit of leave due to a severe (now fixed) health problem.

They held my job, but I wasn't getting paid fully because my income protection insurance didn't fully cover me because of a fine print technicality. My savings got all but wiped out, and then towards the end, I was having to put things like rent and groceries on my credit card.

I'm only just starting to get back on my feet financially and it was only a few months ago I made the final repayment on my credit cards and settled my debt from when I was living on credit during those times.. I can’t afford to take Anna on the trip or pay for the school trip later this year.

My brother thinks I should put it on my credit cards or take a loan or 'whatever you have to do' to be fair, but I'm really not prepared to do that after what happened to me and is really mad and it’s becoming an argument between us.

I did have every intention of following though to do the same for Anna, but it is simply a case of 's**t happened' with my career and health. I plan to explain to her what happened and that it is not a case of favouritism with Elsa.

I do feel terrible about it, but I feel like that at 16, Anna is old enough to learn that sometimes, life isn't fair & s**t like this happens.

Sometimes people lose their jobs, sometimes people have health issues, sometimes the stars will align for your sister (or something else) but then won't align for you & that's just life.

If I got a better job and things improved, I’d be happy to do something for Anna, I don’t want to promise I will be able to, I have already learned that lesson. My brother accused me of favouring Elsa, but it is not that at all.

I would say I am *closer* to Elsa yes, but that's because I lived in the same city as my nieces until Elsa was 10 and Anna was 2. Elsa used to come & spend weekends when Anna was a baby & she remembered me very clearly after I moved while Anna didn’t really have those memories. Elsa now lives in my city for University & visits a lot. But I love them equally.

Talk about a family trip that never left the ground! This Redditor’s refusal to use credit cards for her niece’s France trip, after funding her sister’s adventure years ago, has her brother fuming. Her job loss and health crisis drained her savings, making debt a non-starter, but is she unfair to Anna, or is her brother’s entitlement the real baggage?

Financial boundaries are crucial. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, noted in a 2023 Psychology Today article, “Saying no to family financial requests preserves personal stability and honors past sacrifices”. The Redditor’s commitment to her granddad’s loan-free vision for her education mirrors her own recovery from debt. Her brother’s push for credit ignores her recent struggles, prioritizing his daughter’s trip over her financial health.

Family financial disputes are common. A 2022 study in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues found that 30% of adults face pressure to support family at personal cost, especially after economic setbacks. The brother’s failure to save for Anna’s trip or adjust her expectations, despite knowing the Redditor’s hardships, reeks of entitlement. Anna’s disappointment is real, but at 16, she’s old enough to grasp life’s unfairness.

Could this have been smoother? A heartfelt talk with Anna about the Redditor’s financial journey might ease the sting, though her brother’s attitude complicates things. Neutral advice? The Redditor should explain her situation to Anna directly, offer non-financial support like trip-planning tips, and hold firm against debt. If her brother persists, a clear boundary is key. What’s your take—selfish snub or financial wisdom?

Redditors were firmly on OP’s side

Multiple commenters emphasized that going back into credit card debt just to fulfill a promise made years ago would be financially reckless and emotionally unfair to OP. Many pointed out that the brother, not OP, should have been preparing for the trip if it mattered so much.

sofia72311 − NTA - but please take the time with Anna to show your genuine emotions about what you’ve gone through financially etc. and let her know that you are super aware it is unfair, and how much you want to make it up to her if you can.

eatshitake − NTA So in all this time your brother hasn't made any effort to improve his situation so he can take/send his daughter to France? He's just kicking back waiting for you to do it?

I'm assuming he knows that times have been tough for you and I cannot understand how much of an EA he is for expecting you to go into debt to take your niece to Europe! Yes, s**t happens and plans fall through. It's unfortunate for Anna. However, it's not her fault, either. She's probably been looking forward to doing something with you for a while. You really need to talk to her and explain it all to her in person.

This user shared their own story of being the “younger sibling” who missed out due to a financial crisis

no_bridgetty − NTA. I was in a similar position to Anna back in the day. I'm the youngest child by 7 years (I am what is commonly referred to as a '.... what do you mean the vasectomy didn't work? ' baby).

My two older sisters got to go to their dream schools for college, but the GFC happened right before my senior year of high school and my (formerly) well off parents lost a ton of money in it.

I got into UCLA and Stanford, but I had to settle for taking the full academic scholarship I got in state at a much less prestigious school and my parents scrimped to pay my living expenses so I didn't have to take out loans. I'm not going to lie, I was really salty about it at the time.

My sisters went to UCLA and Berkeley and I had to go to [Redacted] State University. I was really upset for a couple of years, but now I'm 28...... I get it, and I feel *so* bad for being salty to them about where I had to go to school.

A part of me wishes I got to go to UCLA or Berkeley too, but I understand now that 's**t happens'. And at the end of the day, all 3 of us got a degree. My degree from state school still got me a job in the end.

At he time, I was upset thinking that people would be thinking I was the 'dumb sister' who didn't get into one of the glamorous schools in California, but as time has gone on, I've learned that a degree is a degree and your undergraduate alma mater doesn't matter that much, and most people were worried about themselves, not where my sisters and I went to school.

I really wish I understood that when I was 18 and slamming my bedroom door in my parents' faces because I had to turn down UCLA and my sister didn't.

You're not a bad person, like how my parents were not bad people. I was just learning for he first time that sometimes, life is just really unfair and sometimes you can do everything right but still 'lose' because of something out of your control. Explain it to Anna. She might really hate it now and take it a bit badly, but she will understand in time.

These users called him out for being entitled, inconsiderate, and ungrateful

imcesca − NTA Your brother is awfully entitled. Either your financial situation was a State secret, these past 8 years, or he’s a major ass for not having noticed the issues you’ve had to deal with.

Presuming you’d be able to afford the same European trip (or even that it would be a priority for you at this point) just because you said you would before your finances went down the drain was pure idiocy on his part.

If he really cared about Anna making the trip, he should have started saving for it when you started having trouble. Or at least act to adjust Anna’s expectations as she went through school and they saw you struggling.

If he really cared now, he’d offer to help you pay it off if you put it on your credit card (I’ll give him the benefit of assuming he doesn’t have enough credit to do this on his own). Sitting back and simply expecting you to pull this trip out of the hat is a d**k move.

To me, this smells of that kind of entitlement parents suffer, wherein “of course we can’t save for frivolities, we have *a family* to support: you’re single, you can definitely splurge on this”.

blah_blah_69 − NTA. It seems crystal clear to me that there 0 malice on your part, and that if your circumstances were different, you'd be doing the same for Anna that you did for Elsa. It's pretty a**hole-ish for your brother to give you a hard time about this when like...

obviously he isn't in a financial position to pay for this travel either? How does he not understand your position? I'm sorry you've gone through so much tough s**t in the last several years and that your brother is being a wang about it.

LyraMurdock − NTA Have an honest chat with Anna and tell her in person. Your brother sounds super ungrateful and entitled. If it's that easy to put the trip on credit card why doesn't he just do it? What a weird double standard.

These commenters suggested having a heartfelt, honest conversation with Anna — not as a defense, but as a life lesson

truly_madly_LOCA − I was going to say N. A. H, but your brother pressuring you to put it on your credit cards and go back into debt to finance it and making it an argument when you said no tips this into **NTA**. If it's that simple, why doesn't *he* put it on *his* credit card?

You had good intentions and planned to do for Anna what you did for Elsa, but as you say, life isn't always fair and sometimes s**t like layoffs and health crises happen.

That's not your fault, and I agree that 16 is old enough to learn the unfortunately necessary life lesson that things aren't always fair.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Lol, are you my aunt? She took my older sister to Europe when she was 16 and promised me the same. But by time I was 16, the financial situation was different. I didn't mind at the time and years later, I still don't mind. I was disappointed I couldn't go, but hey, that's life.

edubkendo − Hey Mr. Scott watcha gonna do Watcha gonna do make our dreams come true

brownbird8888 − NTA. You mustn't pay for the trip out of your credit card. Your brother was wrong to pressure you to finance his daughter's trip. You are not in the position to do so and your niece may be upset that she misses out but if she truly cares for you and not just for your money, she will understand and not want you to go into financial strife for her trip.

So, was OP the jerk for backing out of a promise made in better times? According to Reddit, absolutely not.

This wasn’t about playing favorites. It was about financial survival. And the lesson Anna might walk away with — that life doesn’t always line up the same for everyone — could be more valuable in the long run than any trip abroad. Would you have done the same? Or do you think promises should always be honored, no matter the cost?

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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