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School Nurse Rolls Her Eyes At A Foreign Diagnosis and Tells Teen Not To Be Defensive

by Marry Anna
December 14, 2025
in Social Issues

Navigating a serious medical condition is already exhausting, especially for a teenager adjusting to a new country, a new school, and a new healthcare system.

When your diagnosis is rare and life-altering, trust in the doctors who helped you regain stability can feel nonnegotiable. Being questioned about that diagnosis can easily feel less like concern and more like doubt.

That’s what happened to this student after a routine meeting with her school’s new nurse took an unexpected turn.

What began as a standard discussion about medical protocols quickly shifted into something more uncomfortable.

School Nurse Rolls Her Eyes At A Foreign Diagnosis and Tells Teen Not To Be Defensive
Not the actual photo

'AITA for telling a school nurse I don't need a second opinion from an American doctor for a diagnosis made in Spain?'

I (17F) moved from Spain to the US with my parents a year ago.

I have a very rare and severe neurological condition, which is itself a subtype of a more common and less debilitating condition.

When I say rare, I mean a 0.0001% occurrence rate. I was diagnosed in Spain a year ago, before we moved.

I spent two weeks in the hospital, and they ran all the tests possible, even experimental ones.

I eventually saw a specialist who's extremely well-known in his field. He made the diagnosis and gave me a prescription.

I went from 2 episodes a day to less than 1 a month.

Now for the issue: a week ago, a new head nurse was hired at my high school. As an at-risk student, she asked to meet me.

When I started describing my situation, she interrupted me, saying, "I know [name of the more common condition], cut it short".

Since it's on a whole other level in terms of gravity and rarity, I still went ahead and described it.

She interrupted me again and said, "This diagnosis is very unusual. Are you sure about it?

I know a very good doctor, you're sure don't want to have a second opinion from an American doctor?"

She stressed American. I told her that all the tests were run a year ago, the diagnosis fits perfectly, and the medication is working.

I finally said that Spanish doctors are just as competent as American ones.

I was calm, but it showed that I thought she considered Spain a third-world country.

She rolled her eyes and said that I didn't need to get defensive.

I told my parents when I went home. My dad (American) got on her side.

I said he was free to spend dozens of thousands of dollars (what the whole process would have cost in the US)

for the same diagnosis and to get me off opioids.

He said I was overreacting and that I didn't need to be an AH about it, but my mum, who's Spanish,

understands my reaction, given how mentally taxing all this is.

I haven't heard back from the nurse, but I'm wondering if I overreacted.

EDIT: To address a general concern, I'm not on opioids.

What I meant by "at risk" is basically just "special needs"; there's just a risk that episodes may happen when I'm at school,

and there's a protocol in my medical file that tells the school staff, "when an episode occurs, don't do anything,

wait for it to go away" (quite literally).

In health care, credibility and trust are as crucial as competence.

When someone receives a rare and serious diagnosis, especially one backed by comprehensive testing and measurable improvement, they reasonably expect that diagnosis to be respected and understood, not questioned lightly.

In this case, the OP was diagnosed with an extremely rare neurological condition in Spain, saw dramatic improvement under treatment, and has lived with the results for over a year.

Her high-school nurse’s suggestion that an American doctor could re-evaluate her diagnosis, coupled with the implication that Spanish doctors are somehow inferior, triggered a defensive reaction rooted in both personal medical experience and broader patterns of bias.

Research shows that bias against foreign-born or foreign-trained doctors exists and affects patient perceptions, even when qualifications and competence are identical.

In controlled studies, patients evaluated doctors trained abroad less favorably than locally trained ones, despite equivalent credentials and experience.

This bias persists despite the fact that medical education and diagnostic accuracy can be equal across borders, especially between well-established health systems like Spain and the United States.

This is more than an academic point. For foreign-born physicians working in different healthcare environments, discrimination and patient-related stress are documented realities.

Physicians who trained abroad often face skepticism about their competence and experience additional interpersonal challenges when interacting with patients and staff.

This same skepticism can surface when patients themselves or caregivers question diagnoses made by competent doctors abroad, particularly in cross-cultural settings.

Communication research highlights that cultural and linguistic norms deeply shape how medical information is communicated and received. Misunderstandings are common when patients and providers come from different medical cultures.

What might seem like a reasonable suggestion, “get a second opinion”, can be interpreted as a dismissal of expertise if it is framed in ways that imply superiority of one system over another.

At the same time, the medical community widely acknowledges the value of second opinions.

Data show that a significant proportion of second-opinion consultations either refine or change the initial diagnosis, helping patients understand their conditions more fully and sometimes leading to different treatment approaches.

Importantly, seeking a second opinion doesn’t inherently mean the original diagnosis was wrong, it means the patient or caregiver is investing in certainty and safety, particularly for complex or rare conditions.

There’s also a practical middle ground, international second-opinion services exist precisely to bridge cross-border medical expertise.

These services allow patients to get additional diagnostic perspectives online from specialists worldwide without discrediting the original evaluation.

For the OP, her reaction likely stemmed from feeling that her lived medical reality, extensive testing, and measurable progress were being casually questioned, and that this questioning was framed in a way that diminished her doctors’ legitimacy based on nationality alone.

In emotionally charged settings, perceived dismissiveness can quickly become interpreted as disrespect.

The best advice would be to separate medical validity from cultural framing. If a second opinion feels medically valuable, it can be pursued through reputable channels without needing to validate one system over another.

Framing follow-ups around clarity and understanding, rather than superiority, tends to reduce defensiveness and preserve respect.

At its core, this story highlights how cross-cultural bias, communication norms, and personal medical experience intersect. Questioning expertise based on nationality taps into broader patterns of mistrust rather than evidence-based medical practice.

Recognizing the value of second opinions, and understanding that expertise can be equally robust across healthcare systems, helps shift conversations from dismissiveness to informed empowerment.

See what others had to share with OP:

These commenters zeroed in on what they viewed as classic ignorance mixed with misplaced patriotism.

Curious_Puffin − I've also met people with this misinformed opinion of medical professionals in other countries.

The arrogance and ignorance shown by your school nurse would get under my skin, too. NTA.

P.S. 'Ola' from Spain! I'm currently on holiday in Aragon.

YouSayWotNow − Yeah, there's a certain strata of Americans who genuinely think American healthcare, education,

technology, you name it, is far superior to anywhere else in the world.

It's ignorance mixed with a strange brand of patriotism, and it can be deeply unpleasant to witness.

I have close relatives who are USA-born and bred, and some of what they say along these lines is actually outrageous,

and they don't even realise how offensive it is (not to mention plain wrong).

NTA. Sure, Daddy, dearest can waste his money trying to prove America is the bestest, but he is being patronising,

condescending, and a whole lot more.

gigantesghastly − NTA. She does sound xenophobic or at least ignorant about the world beyond the US, and she patronized you.

Also, for the people on these comments making assumptions- of course, things vary, and there’s plenty to criticize,

but in many lists, Spanish healthcare ranks as among the best in the world.

It’s also public and free and highly cost-efficient.

TTRPG_Fiend − NTA, I live in New Zealand, my cousin, a nurse, was visiting from America, and my dad managed to

get her a tour of the hospital since she was considering moving here.

She was shocked at how up-to-date and functional our system, equipment, and medical system were.

She said that since we have socialized Healthcare, she was taught that it didn't work and our equipment would be decades old and falling apart.

She's just r__ist and thinks the health system jn the states is #1 because she's deluded.

This group strongly defended Spanish healthcare, emphasizing its rigorous training, cost efficiency, and global reputation.

dahliaukifune − NTA. Fellow Spaniard here with about 10 years in the US. First, it really sucks that you have such a condition.

I hope the research gets better and better and they manage to get you to be attack-free forever.

On to the issue at hand. Your nurse sounds xenophobic, and that’s sadly not that uncommon. I do hope it doesn’t happen ever again to you.

Spanish doctors are great; their education is incredibly solid and rigorous.

But as I said, you might experience some people looking down on things if they were done in Spain.

I have had folks not take my BA seriously, for example. It happens.

Just make sure this interaction doesn’t have negative repercussions for you, and stay safe.

RU4r − Spain has one of the best healthcare systems in the world. The best quality/price. NTA.

NuSpirit_ − NTA. Also funny how many Americans fly to Spain to get medical procedures because the return ticket,

hotel, and procedure there are cheaper than in America.

Yet she dismisses Spain doctors as "not worthy" lol.

morgaine125 − INFO: Why are you waiting to hear back from the nurse?

dodekahedron − NTA. As a medically complex 34-year-old, I have a feeling you had better care in Spain than you'd get in America anyway

These Redditors took a more measured approach.

kitfromoh − NTA. Spanish doctors are just as competent as American doctors.

However, pulling your medical files and tests and getting a second opinion or fresh eyes on the information isn't a bad idea.

You wouldn't have to retake the tests; just have a second doctor review them. It couldn't hurt.

INFO: I would have assumed you already had an American doctor who specializes in this because of the need for medication.

How are you getting your medicine refills and prescriptions?

DemmyDemon − If it's a very rare condition, I assume you were diagnosed by one of the very few experts on it, right?

So, a competent American doctor would likely consult a specialist/expert, seeing as it's so rare.

It's not out of the question that you'd be getting the same diagnosis again from the same doctor.

I bet that's worth $20k to some people, but it sounds like a lot of hoopla over nothing to me, and your head nurse should

just respect the diagnosis you already have.

NTA, I've been to Spain, and they had houses and cars and everything, just like a real country

(rolling my eyes while typing does not come across in the text, sadly).

This cluster focused on patient experience and respect. They argued that when medication is effective and prescribed by a specialist, pushing doubt can feel destabilizing and unsafe.

happybanana134 − NTA. If I were taking medication that worked for me, I'd feel very wary if someone started pushing a second opinion.

Dry-Lake4777 − NTA. She was so rude and arrogant. Cutting a sick kid trying to communicate short????????????

She sees you for a few minutes and thinks she knows better than you about your condition.

Your dad is a giant a__hole too if he does not see what went down there.

This clash wasn’t really about medicine. It was about trust, authority, and the exhaustion that comes from constantly having to justify a lived diagnosis.

Was the firmness necessary self-advocacy, or did the tone overshadow the point?

How would you respond when your health history gets casually dismissed? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Marry Anna

Marry Anna

Hello, lovely readers! I’m Marry Anna, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. As a woman over 30, I bring my curiosity and a background in Creative Writing to every piece I create. My mission is to spark joy and thought through stories, whether I’m covering quirky food trends, diving into self-care routines, or unpacking the beauty of human connections. From articles on sustainable living to heartfelt takes on modern relationships, I love adding a warm, relatable voice to my work. Outside of writing, I’m probably hunting for vintage treasures, enjoying a glass of red wine, or hiking with my dog under the open sky.

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