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She Asked Her Adult Son to Move Out, and Now He’s Giving Her the Silent Treatment

by Sunny Nguyen
July 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Imagine your home slowly turning into a battleground over dirty dishes, a neglected bathroom, and unvacuumed carpets. That’s exactly what happened to one Reddit mom who shared her story on the AITA subreddit. What started as a generous gesture, letting her 25-year-old son move back in to finish college, quickly spiraled into a stressful game of avoid-the-chores.

Despite clear rules and plenty of second chances, her son barely lifted a finger around the house. And when his hardworking girlfriend moved in too, promising to stay just a few months, their stay kept getting longer. Tension built. Expectations were ignored. So this mom laid down the law: pay a $100 cleaning fee and be out by April 1st.

Now her son’s giving her the cold shoulder, and Reddit is divided. Was she wrong for kicking him out? Or was this the only way to protect her sanity, and her marriage? With family bonds stretched thin and boundaries finally enforced, this household drama has everyone talking.

She Asked Her Adult Son to Move Out, and Now He’s Giving Her the Silent Treatment

This Redditor’s tale is messier than her son’s bathroom! Here’s the original post:

Aita For Kicking Out My 25yo (26yo Next Month) Son And His Girlfriend?

My son is on Reddit daily and will recognize my post immediately, so a throwaway would be pointless. Will still try to keep identifying details out to maintain his privacy from his friends. My son graduated HS in 2012.

He spent that first year working full time in a warehouse with a particularly demanding boss. He learned a lot about the workforce and developed an amazing work ethic. But he quickly realized that he wanted to obtain his college degree so he started community college part time.

About a year later he got an apartment with his then girlfriend. He still was going to college and working. After a year he wanted to come home so that he could go to school full time, work part time and finish school quicker. This is where things go downhill.

We were happy to have him come home and concentrate on school. We told him that we'd pay his car insurance and phone but he would be responsible for his car payment. We also stressed that he would have to help out around the house in lieu of rent/utilities.

He would be responsible for cleaning his bathroom every other week, helping with dishes, trash, and vacuum once a week. Suffice to say, he barely did anything. It caused a lot of tension in my marriage. We had many sit down convos with him, it would get better for a week, then right back how it was. Fastforward to last summer...

he's been dating a really great girl who we like and they made plans to go to a university out of state starting Jan 2019. Her home situation was very stressful, she already put in 2 years at community college and 1 semester at a very hard local university, and she has a great work ethic also.

So we decide to offer for her to stay with us until they go. Within 2 weeks of her moving in the plan changed from leaving in Jan to leaving in August! Not what we signed up for.

We have a sit down convo and they want to save up more money before they go, she's going to work 2 jobs, they need more time to find and apt, etc. So we all compromise and decide June 1st will be the move out date. Fastforward to Dec and I'm about to lose my mind. Our son barely does anything at all.

He might clean the bathroom every 6wks, he might put dishes away every 2wks, virtually nothing. She has cleaned the bathroom twice since Sept. That's it. I was over it. The day after Xmas, I sat him down and told him he had to pay me $100/mo cleaning fee and they had to be out by Apr 1st.

I told him I was starting to resent him for not helping, that I've taught him everything I can as a parent, that I'll always love him, but it's better for our relationship if he goes sooner rather than later. He was livid. He's barely spoken to me since.

I feel like I made the right decision as a parent because it really felt like enabling at this point. But I also feel horrible because maybe I'm being too hard and expecting too much? I just know that I love him and my heart is breaking..

Tl,Dr: kicking my son out for acting entitled

Edit: Our son has been out of school since last May. It was at that time that he bumped up his hours at work to full time.

Also, when I gave him the Apr 1st move out date, I specifically told him that if anything came up financially that we would help him... as long as it wasn't a repeating occurrence. IE, we would pay his insurance, but no cash would be given. Thank you for all of the responses.

The reason for my post was to get an honest assessment of the situation from a group of his peers. It's going to be an emotional couple of days and y'all have helped me sort out my feelings in a good way.

❤️

Edit 2: For those wondering about his mental health, I can't say for sure obviously, but I don't believe his dirtiness is because of depression/anxiety. He's always been messy. Before his GF moved in I could tell him to clean it up when it got to a certain point.

(His door has always had to stay shut so guests couldn't see. ) But now that she's living in there too, I'm over it. And of course he was raised with chores and held accountable. But he's also one of those people who doesn't care about the consequence. But I'm strong willed too.

There were times that all he had in his room was a bed and his clothes, not even a door. I believe everything besides food, clothing, and shelter are privileges. Privileges that can be lost. But nothing I ever did changed his behavior. He is who he is.

He's charming, sarcastic, incredibly smart, compassionate and he's also a world class procrastinator, stubborn, he lies to us and he's lazy in his personal life. Hope this helps clear up some questions.

I'm amazed at how many of you went through similar situations, but you all seem to have done so well. Thank you for sharing. It means more than you'll ever know.

When Help Turns Into Enabling

Parenting an adult child can feel like hosting a guest who never leaves and forgets to clean up. This mom’s frustration is palpable: her 25-year-old son promised to pitch in with chores like cleaning the bathroom and doing dishes in exchange for free rent, but followed through about as often as a leap year. His girlfriend, a driven student with solid work ethic, moved in to save money for their future move out of state.

The original plan? January. Then June. Then… nothing. Mom’s patience ran out. Her solution? A $100 cleaning fee and an April 1st deadline to move out. Was that too harsh? Maybe. But letting a grown man skate by with no responsibility doesn’t exactly scream “healthy parenting.”

What This Teaches Us About Adult Boundaries

From the son’s point of view, it might feel like he’s being ambushed. He’s balancing a full-time job and a relationship, possibly thinking of home more as a fallback than a place with expectations. His girlfriend does slightly more, two bathroom cleanings since September, but not enough to offset the imbalance.

According to a 2023 Pew Research study, 32% of adults aged 18–34 still live with parents, and mismatched household expectations are one of the biggest friction points. The mom’s frustration isn’t just about chores—it’s about unacknowledged boundaries and unmet adult responsibilities.

This story hits a nerve for many families navigating the blurry line between support and enabling. Dr. Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, a developmental psychologist, notes that “clear expectations and consequences are key to fostering independence in young adults” (Psychology Today, 2022).

This mom has tried everything: heartfelt talks, chore charts, even stripping his room bare during past clashes. Her final move wasn’t cold—it was her way of nudging him into adulthood while still offering emergency financial support. Could she have eased the landing with a written agreement or a family discussion? Possibly. But at some point, tough love stops being optional. What would you have done in her shoes?

Reddit’s dishing out opinions, and it’s spicier than a family feud at Thanksgiving!

Here's the comments of Reddit users:

A Reddit user credits their mom’s decision to kick them out at 21 for motivating a life turnaround, now appreciating the tough love.

fortifiedblonde − NTA. Mom kicked me out when I was wasting space at 21. Motivated me to get my life in order and, many many moons later, I appreciate that she had the wisdom to realize that so long as she was enabling me to be a loser, I would be.

cbun001 − NTA. You tried to give your son and his girl a leg up and they were clearly taking advantage of your good nature. The least they could do was to clean after themselves. You did the right thing. Hopefully, eventually he'll see that. Just wondering, what does the GF thinks?

Another Reddit user, dubbed “mama bear,” expresses frustration over her son’s ungrateful and spiteful reaction to being held accountable for neglecting chores, advocating for his eviction after going above and beyond to help him.

[Reddit User] − NTA mama bear. He was livid. He's barely spoken to me since. Oh this makes me so mad. You went above and beyond to help him, he didn't keep up his end of the deal by cleaning for months on end, and now he's being spiteful to you for not allowing him to take advantage of you anymore.

Your son is incredibly ungrateful and you should absolutely kick him out.

ChubberTheChubber − NTA. Kick him out - fly, little birdy, the f**k outta your mothers’ house!

Badw0IfGirl − NTA. I really believe that most people just can’t establish a healthy adult relationship with their parents while living under their roof, even if you pay rent and pull your weight. People just naturally revert back to the parent/child dynamic and it becomes toxic the older the child gets.

And also I think it’s outrageous that they changed their plans from January to August without consulting you, that’s the most entitled part of the story in my opinion. You were right to set a hard deadline that you are comfortable with.

Meanwhilde this Reddit user, grateful for living rent-free with their mom while excelling academically and managing chores, supports evicting a son and his girlfriend for their messy habits.

letmebe03 − NTA - dear god. I'm 25 years old (26 in May) and was thrilled to death when my mom let me live with her rent-free while I worked on my associate degree, then my bachelor's! I worked 3 part-time jobs, kept a 4. 0 GPA, and still helped out around the house.

While I was rarely home to make a mess, I did make sure to help with laundry, dishes, and regular chores like cleaning. You have been more than generous this whole time.

If he and his girlfriend want to live in a pigsty, that's their right - but it needs to be away from your home, particularly if it's now causing problems in your own marriage and you're beginning to resent your son. I don't understand how he hasn't earned his degree yet with all that time he has.

Hope he's not receiving financial aid - it is a finite resource. NTA, at all, whatsoever.

[Reddit User] − You're good.

And this Redditor affirms a parent’s decision to prioritize tough love over enabling their adult son’s childish behavior

grabendash − NTA. You’re a parent first, and letting your son revert to a child as an adult is doing him no favors. He will get over it. Sucks, though, I’m sure.

Tales_of_reddit − My parents never kicked me out. I lived with them til I was 29 and only moved out around the end of last year.

When Tough Love Feels Like the Only Option

This mom’s home drama is a real-life lesson in boundary-setting. Her son’s charm and intelligence couldn’t mask the growing problem, he stopped contributing, ignored responsibilities, and stretched her patience thin.

Add a well-meaning but equally lax girlfriend into the mix, and the house slowly shifted from supportive home to unpaid hostel. Kicking them out by April 1st might sound extreme, but it reads more like a long-overdue reality check than a rash decision.

Was she too firm, or did she finally do what needed to be done? When does helping become enabling? If your adult child stopped pulling their weight under your roof, would you hand them a broom, or an eviction date?

Let us know what you’d do in the comments!

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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