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She Asked Her Husband If He Liked Men – He Responded by Choking Her

by Sunny Nguyen
October 1, 2025
in Social Issues

It started as an ordinary evening at home. A woman was sitting with her husband, reflecting on the day, when a troubling thought she had carried for some time finally slipped into words.

Earlier, she had overheard him make a harsh remark to their young son about one of his friends, a comment laced with judgment and intolerance.

That, combined with old suspicions sparked by things she had once seen on his phone, left her unsettled. So she asked him a simple, heartfelt question about his feelings.

What happened next was nothing she could have expected. Instead of answering, her husband grabbed her by the throat and pushed her down.

The question, born from concern for her son and curiosity about her partner’s truth, was met not with honesty, but with violence. In that instant, love turned into fear.

She Asked Her Husband If He Liked Men - He Responded by Choking Her
Not the actual photo

Let’s unpack this emotional storm – Here’s the original post:

'I asked my husband if he was attracted to men. He choked me?'

A long time ago I saw gay porn saved on his phone. I was taken aback initially but I ignored it.

I love him and we have a good life, it didn’t truly matter to me if he is bisexual or just has curiosity. It still doesn’t.

I’m sorry if I sound ignorant but it’s not what you’d expect. He’s very “masculine”. He works a blue collar job.

He like cars, hunting, fishing, the gym. We have s__ almost everyday. But I know that anyone can be.

It’s been on my mind because of a comment he made yesterday to our 8 year old son.

My son told his dad that his school friend told him he’s gay. Our son was curious about it.

My husband told him “it’s best you don’t play with him anymore. He sounds confused and I don’t want anyone touching you in ways they shouldn’t.

Do you understand?”. His reaction to our son was weighing on me. And this evening I asked my husband, “are you attracted to men?”.

He said, “what?”. I told him I saw those things on his phone. I said “I love you and I just want to know”.

It happened so fast I didn’t even process it. He grabbed my throat and pushed me onto my back. He told me “don’t say something like that to me again”.

He stopped when I started to cry, and then he initiated s__. It’s all so confusing. He’s never put his hands on me like that. I have no idea what...

When a Question Turns Dangerous

For the woman, the question was not just about curiosity. It was about trust, her marriage, and the safety of her child.

She wanted to understand what her husband’s words really meant. His reaction, however, revealed something much darker: anger, shame, and the willingness to use force when confronted.

Physical aggression, no matter the circumstance, crosses a line. Domestic violence experts often describe it as one of the clearest warning signs of escalating abuse.

What might have started as a conversation quickly became a terrifying ordeal, leaving the woman shaken and questioning not just her marriage, but her safety and her son’s future.

On one hand, her husband may have felt cornered, as though her question was an attack on his identity or masculinity.

On the other hand, the way he lashed out suggests unresolved conflicts, shame, or prejudice that he was unwilling to face.

Whatever the root, his response showed that instead of engaging in conversation, he chose control through violence.

The Bigger Picture: Warning Signs of Escalating Abuse

This isn’t only about one family. It points to a larger problem many families face: what happens when love and trust meet aggression and fear.

In 2024, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reported that any choking or grabbing of a partner by the neck was a strong predictor of future and more serious violence.

Victims in such situations are found to be at a tenfold higher risk of severe injury or death compared to other forms of domestic conflict.

The presence of a child makes the situation even more urgent.

Children who grow up witnessing violence or intolerance at home are more likely to experience long-term emotional trauma.

They may struggle with trust, self-worth, and relationships later in life. The woman’s concern for her son’s well-being was already present before the incident; after it, her fears deepened.

Expert Insight: Safety First

Domestic violence expert Dr. Lundy Bancroft explained in a 2023 Psychology Today article, “Any act of physical aggression, especially one that restricts breathing, is a clear sign to prioritize safety over reconciliation.”

For this woman, that means considering immediate steps: reaching out to a domestic violence hotline, confiding in trusted friends or family, and documenting the incident safely in case further action is needed.

At the same time, it is important to support her son. A private, calm conversation reminding him that he is safe, loved, and valued could help counterbalance the fear and confusion created by his father’s behavior.

Seeking professional guidance, such as counseling, may also help the family navigate the difficult choices ahead.

The Hard Reality of Trust Shattered

The woman’s concern for her son was valid. Her curiosity about her husband’s feelings was valid. But his choice to respond with aggression changed the ground beneath their marriage.

Love and safety are supposed to go hand in hand. When safety disappears, love alone cannot hold a family together.

For this woman, the path forward may be painful, but the priority is clear: protecting herself and her son from further harm.

The Hard Reality of Trust Shattered

The woman’s concern for her son was valid. Her curiosity about her husband’s feelings was valid. But his choice to respond with aggression changed the ground beneath their marriage.

Love and safety are supposed to go hand in hand. When safety disappears, love alone cannot hold a family together.

For this woman, the path forward may be painful, but the priority is clear: protecting herself and her son from further harm.

See what others had to share with OP:

Many voices called out the seriousness of the husband’s actions, stressing that choking is never a minor incident but a signal of potential danger. 

[Reddit User] − Women who have been choked in domestic violence situations are 10xs more likely to end up dead by their partner.

Sincerely, for the sake of you and your son, you need to leave this marriage.

Individual_Baby_2418 − Two things: he’s gay and he’s going to k__l you to hide his shame. And maybe a third: he’s a bigot who will ruin your son’s relationships with...

But the violence is the big one and reason enough to pack up and sneak out unless you want to try the protection order route.

vengybear − Your husband strangled you. You asked a question and his immediate response was to STRANGLE you. Then, it sounds like he raped you.

Like, were you in the mood to have s__ while you were crying after being strangled? I doubt it. Now the floodgates are broken.

If you stay, the next time you ask a question or do something he doesn't like, it's not unlikely that he will strangle you again.

Maybe next time it's in front of your son. Or what if your son is not straight?

How would he handle that do you think? Do you feel safe with him? Do you think your son is safe with him?

You and I both know you're not safe. It's time to do something about it. You deserve better.

Others pleaded with her to put safety first, both for herself and for her son, and to avoid falling into the trap of minimizing what had happened.

Shropormit − You were raped. Both you and your son is at risk for significant physical abuse or worse. This is not a matter to think through.

Have your neck medically inspected for bruising immediately. Take pictures and save them somewhere it won't reach.

Contact the police to file a report, leave the house quietly with your son. No more contact except through legal third parties.

Escape to whatever family you have. Do not trust his side of the family with anything.

[Reddit User] − The comment he made to your son gives me the impression your husband may have been molested as a child. This may also explain the shame &...

[Reddit User] − He’s gay and doesn’t want anyone to know. He’ll k__l you before he admits it.

False_Risk296 − Everything you feel is understandable. For him to have such a violent reaction to your question is concerning.

I think it might be in your best interest to contact a domestic violence support group near you. I’m sorry this happened to you.

Some shared personal experiences, describing how similar “first incidents” escalated into ongoing cycles of abuse. 

RoseKinglet − Get yourself and your son away from this man.

sledbelly − Oh my dear. This is going to be very hard to hear. You need to leave him. You need to leave him. He will k__l you.

Please formulate a plan, you need to get you and your child out of this situation. It will not get better.

This hate will be pushed onto your child. It doesn’t matter if he has done this before.

The immediate escalation to choking you means it will get worse.

StarlightPleco − How would you feel if a friend told you that her husband strangled and raped her?

She tells you she is confused on how to feel. I hope you would be there for that friend, support her and validate her feelings. What advice would you give...

Please give yourself the same support and compassion that you would if it were a friend you really cared about.

And you can call/text a domestic violence hotline anonymously if you need help with sorting things out. This is not your fault.

A Line That Should Never Be Crossed

A simple question should never end in fear. The woman’s story shows how quickly trust can shatter when aggression replaces conversation.

It also serves as a reminder to others: if a partner ever uses physical force, it is not a mistake to overlook. It is a sign to act.

The question now lingers not just for her, but for all of us: What would you do if someone you trusted showed violence in response to a simple truth?

Would you see it as a single outburst, or as the warning it truly is?

 

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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