It was supposed to be a quiet night, just a pregnant woman, her husband, and the soft purring of a cat curled on the couch. But when the topic of the litter box came up, the air turned colder than a vet’s waiting room.
This 32-year-old husband had drawn a line in the (cat) sand: he would not scoop the litter.
His wife, six months pregnant, had gently reminded him that toxoplasmosis, a parasite found in cat feces, could harm their unborn baby. She asked for help. His answer? A firm no. After all, three years ago, before the pregnancy, they’d agreed that the cat was hers to care for.
He even went as far as to suggest rehoming the cat if she couldn’t handle it anymore. That didn’t go over well.
Now, his wife is heartbroken, her sister is fuming, and Reddit is lighting up like a cat tree at Christmas.
A Pregnant Pause, a Scooping Refusal, and a Growing Divide
He didn’t say it with anger, just conviction.
“You knew this was your cat. You agreed to this. That deal hasn’t changed,” he said.
But everything else had changed. His wife was pregnant. Her immune system was weaker, and toxoplasmosis posed a very real risk. Still, he stood firm, insisting that gloves and handwashing were enough protection.
She didn’t push, at first. She kept scooping. But her body was aching more each day, and bending over the box became a struggle. When she brought it up again, he repeated his stance.
That’s when her sister got involved, furious that he’d let his pregnant wife clean cat feces. Their argument escalated. His solution? “Maybe we should give the cat away.”
It wasn’t a suggestion. It felt like a punishment.
From the narrator’s perspective, this wasn’t just about litter, it was about support.
Years ago, a friend of mine was on bed rest during her pregnancy. Her husband, who once refused to do laundry, learned to wash baby clothes and fold swaddles with care. “That wasn’t my job,” he’d once said. “But she needed me, so it became my job.”
This husband? He chose the agreement over the moment.
When A Deal Becomes a Wall Instead of a Foundation
It’s true – they’d made a deal. The cat was hers. But pregnancy, like any life change, demands new agreements.
Medical professionals aren’t vague about this either. According to a 2024 report from the Mayo Clinic, 10-20% of pregnant women exposed to cat feces risk toxoplasmosis, a parasite that can lead to miscarriage, stillbirth, or severe developmental issues. Gloves help, but the recommendation is clear: pregnant women should avoid litter duty.
And yet, he refused.
Dr. John Gottman, relationship expert, put it plainly in a 2023 Psychology Today article:
“Successful marriages thrive on flexibility and mutual support, especially during life changes like pregnancy.”
That flexibility was missing.
Instead of stepping up, the husband offered to remove the cat, a living creature his wife had loved and cared for long before the baby bump appeared.
Was he upholding a boundary? Or was he using that boundary as a shield to avoid discomfort?
His wife’s silence, and her sister’s fury, suggest the answer.
Reddit’s claws are out, and the takes are sharper than a cat’s scratch! Here’s what people had to say to OP.
With a mix of expert insight and personal warnings, commenters didn’t hold back – highlighting the serious health risks of toxoplasmosis during pregnancy and urging the OP to step up.
Many commenters, including fellow expectant parents, were furious, calling the OP selfish and warning that clinging to a past agreement isn’t worth risking a miscarriage or serious birth defects.
Others unleashed a wave of frustration, slamming the OP for prioritizing pride over partnership.
A Litter Box, a Baby on the Way, and a Marriage on the Line
Now, the home feels tense. The cat still curls at the end of the bed, unaware of the drama it’s caught in. The litter box still gets cleaned, by a pregnant woman who’s exhausted, aching, and starting to feel unsupported.
And the husband? He still believes he’s in the right.
But at what cost?
Is it really about cat litter anymore—or about showing up when your partner needs you most?
What matters more: an old deal, or a new life you’re building together?
How would you handle a partner who sticks to a pact while your body carries the weight of pregnancy?
