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She Made Her Husband Pick Between His Daughter – Now Everyone’s Calling Her the Villain

by Sunny Nguyen
October 17, 2025
in Social Issues

A wife, married 21 years, hit her breaking point at a family dinner, demanding her husband choose between his daughters: Kristen, from his first marriage, and their shared daughter, Sasha.

She felt he always prioritized Kristen, endless calls, visits, even a second apartment partly for her cat, leaving Sasha feeling ignored. Years of hurt boiled over with her ultimatum: “Pick one daughter.”

Silence followed, heavy with guilt and doubt. Was she fighting for fairness or risking her family? Reddit’s buzzing with this raw, messy tale. Dive into the full story below!

She Made Her Husband Pick Between His Daughter - Now Everyone’s Calling Her the Villain
Not the actual photo

A Wife’s Ultimatum to Pick a Daughter Sparks a Family Drama Firestorm!

AITA for asking my husband to choose between his daughters?

 

I hope this post won’t look messy, I’m so riled up that help me God. Me (F 50) and my husband (M 51) were married for 21 years.

He divorced his pregnant wife to get with me, but he saw his daughter Kristen whenever he wanted.

Later I gave birth to our daughter Sasha but my husband was cheating on me and we took a break, I forbade him to see our daughter.

He missed her early years and now I think it changed everything. He doesn’t treat Kristen (21) and Sasha (18) the same.

Kristen is his number one thing, he comes running if she calls him and he can just drop everything if she asks.

He pays for Sasha’s education but she just isn’t his priority. He always talks about Kristen, it’s always about her. Sasha feels it and it hurts her.

I’m sure Kristen hates me for breaking her mom and my husband up. She always does things to rile me up.

She calls my husband 5 times a day to chat, even late at night when she knows he’s with me!

She makes him spend a week in a month with her just ‘chilling’ in his apartment. He never spends as much time with Sasha and we live together.

It’s a victory if I manage to get us to watch a movie together.

Recently I learned that my husband left everything to Kristen in his will.

She gets an apartment, his WW2 collection when Sasha gets just one room in an old hostel building!

Now there is a cat. Kristen already has 3, there is no place for more, so she dragged one into my husband’s flat.

She’s claiming someone threw him away and she just wanted to give him a home.

That’s bullsh*t, she’s doing everything to keep my husband chained to his second flat, away from his other daughter and me. He now has to stay there to feed it.

Kristen does it when he’s not there, but now he has a reason to spend more time in his flat, and he keeps doing it.

Kristen knew it would be like this, she did this on purpose, I'm sure.

I asked my husband to give the cat away or we’d have a problem, he said he’d think but he went and consulted Kristen.

From what I got, she accused him of betraying that cat and stopped talking to him.

My husband spent all night writing her apologies and he told me he’d never get rid of the cat!

He didn’t even want it, Kristen brought it, it's just one more thing that keeps him away from his family!

I finally had enough and I told him to pick between Kristen and Sasha.

He can’t have two relationships at once and if he cares about Sasha he has to prove it and pick her at least this once.

It was weeks ago, he refuses to give me his answer and I keep feeling like I’m an a__hole but then I get angry again.

I know he loves Kristen, but maybe the threat to not seeing Sasha will make him realize he has another daughter who needs his attention.

So AITA for wanting my husband to focus on our daughter for a change instead of constantly running around his first daughter?

Expert Opinion: When a Family Feud Over Daughters Goes Nuclear

This Redditor’s story feels like a family drama straight out of a movie – except this one’s painfully real. The tension between her husband’s two daughters runs deep.

Kristen, the older daughter from his first marriage, was born before the Redditor entered the picture.

In fact, she admitted that her husband’s first marriage ended because of their affair. That alone created wounds that never fully healed.

Now, years later, Kristen still has a close bond with her dad. She calls him daily, asks for help, and even keeps her cat in his second apartment.

To the Redditor, it feels like favoritism but as commenter avonpurple noted, Kristen might simply be acting like a daughter who loves and depends on her father.

The Redditor’s own daughter, Sasha, sees things differently. She feels her dad is more emotionally available for Kristen, leaving her craving attention.

And to make it worse, there’s the will. According to commenter Blueheron77, the husband plans to leave most of his estate to Kristen, though Sasha isn’t completely left out.

The wife’s frustration is easy to understand. Any parent would hurt seeing their child feel neglected.

But the way she expressed it – by asking her husband to “pick” one daughter – crossed a line that’s hard to come back from.

As Redditor happybanana134 put it, “That’s not how you fix favoritism. It just creates more pain.”

The Deeper Issue: Parental Alienation and Broken Trust

The husband and the Redditor didn’t start their marriage on stable ground.

Early in their relationship, she kept him away from Sasha for the first few years, which weakened his bond with their daughter. That choice still echoes in their family today.

Family therapist Dr. Joshua Coleman explains that “rebuilding trust requires patience, not ultimatums.”

Studies from the American Psychological Association show that 40 percent of children in split or blended families experience some form of parental alienation, which often causes emotional distance that can last for years.

Here, the husband’s stronger relationship with Kristen may not be favoritism – it might just be the result of having more time and history with her.

Still, that doesn’t make Sasha’s pain any less real. She deserves to feel valued by her dad too.

What Could Have Helped Instead

Instead of an ultimatum, the Redditor could have asked for open communication. A calm talk – maybe even family therapy – could have helped everyone express how they feel.

Therapist Dr. Coleman suggests focusing on rebuilding connections rather than keeping score.

Redditor IndividualINK04 had great advice: “You can’t force someone to choose sides.

Support your daughter’s relationship with her dad instead. Don’t make her feel like loving him means betraying you.”

That’s the heart of it. When parents put children in the middle of emotional fights, nobody wins.

The Redditor’s heart was in the right place – she wanted fairness for Sasha but the method turned her into the villain in everyone’s eyes.

The real fix would be helping her husband understand Sasha’s feelings without making him defensive.

Setting time for one-on-one bonding between father and daughter could make a world of difference.

A simple movie night, a shared hobby, or even small gestures could slowly rebuild what’s missing.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit users didn’t hold back.

TeepShow76 − So AITA for wanting my husband to focus on our daughter for a change instead of constantly running around his first daughter?

Sooooo you engaged in parental alienation because you were jealous,

and dad and Sasha didn't bond (because of you) and now you're upset because they're not bonded? YTA.

happybanana134 − YTA. I was close to E S H. But you got with a married man while his wife was pregnant and expect him to be a peach?

You banned him from seeing Sasha and are surprised he has a stronger bond with Kristen?

'I finally had enough and I told him to pick between Kristen and Sasha.

He can’t have two relationships at once and if he cares about Sasha he has to prove it and pick her at least this once.'

This is just so ridiculous. Honestly, I can't even. You need a really, really, really good therapist. Not reddit.

dazedkatwoman − Well, this is going to be fun. YTA just for parental alienation alone. But this post is so full of eyeroll.

You engaged in an affair with a married man expecting a child, were all surprised when he cheated on you (as if it were a secret he was a cheater),

alienated his child and preventing a bond, then are all upset because this stellar man isn't the father you want him to be.

At what point do you accept accountability for this s__t show?

Some blasted the Redditor for “trying to control her husband’s love,” while others sympathized with her frustration. 

[Reddit User] − ESH. Him for cheating. You for the parental alienation and the cheating.

Btw, hubby is still cheating. His daughter is just his alibi, and the new girlfriend probably just moved into the apartment.

EDIT: Thank you to the people who gave me the awards.

Blueheron77 − You told him (checks notes) to pick between his daughters?

That he can't have 2 relationships at once with his (checks notes again) own daughters? Yeah, that's a YTA from me dawg.

FatherItsQuiteChilly − Nah, YTA for getting a married man to leave his pregnant wife, and then punished him for CHEATING ON YOU.

Once a cheater always a cheater. Once a marriage wrecker, always a marriage wrecker.

fuxkyouforever − YTA. What did you expect to happen? This is the result of having affairs with married people.

You get what you give. Here’s the bed you made, now lay in it.

Many comments agreed that both parents have work to do.

[Reddit User] − You made your bed and now it's time to lie on it.

You deliberately prevented him from bonding with Sasha when she was little and the damage is well and truly done.

Perhaps if you can b__t out and stop with your manipulative ultimatums,

Sasha and her father can build a relationship without any interference from you.

Sadly, Sasha is the victim of your ridiculous mind games. YTA.

avonpurple − YTA. For getting with a married man with a child on the way.

For separating him and Sasha for what sounds like years. Kristen doesn’t call “your husband”.

She calls her dad. Not everything is about you. You are the reason Sasha is a stranger to her dad

because you caused that. Husband did not leave everything to Kristen, Sasha is getting a room.

You have no right demanding to give the cat away. After all the a-hole things you did, you are basically telling him to say bye to Sasha forever.

Then you are gonna show up here on Reddit in a few years complaining about how you separated Sasha and her dad twice and now her dad won’t talk to...

IndividualINK04 − YTA His first daughter lost her dad because he was cheating with YOU.

And now you're forcing him to choose again. You really are a N__ty piece of work.

And I won't say what I really think of you, but yep massive massive AH

A Family Fight With No Winners

The Redditor’s demand to choose between daughters came from love and frustration, but it crossed into dangerous territory. Her husband’s silence shows how deep the damage goes.

Was she justified? Maybe in emotion, but not in action. Sometimes, trying to “fix” unfairness through control only creates more hurt. What this family needs now isn’t another argument – it’s healing, honesty, and time.

So, what do you think? Was this wife’s ultimatum a brave stand for her daughter, or a heartbreaking mistake? And if you were in her shoes, how would you handle feeling like your child always comes second? Drop your thoughts below.

 

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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