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She Lied About a Double Major to Keep the Peace, Now Her Parents Say She’s Betrayed Them

by Sunny Nguyen
April 23, 2026
in Social Issues

For most college students, picking a major is stressful enough. Add in parents who are paying tuition and have very strong opinions, and that stress can turn into something much heavier. This student thought she had found a way to keep everyone happy.

On track to graduate with a business degree, a computer science minor, and even a job lined up, she was doing objectively well. But for her mother, “well” wasn’t good enough.

A double major had always been the expectation, not a suggestion. And when reality made that plan impossible, things spiraled. Faced with rigid demands and no room for compromise, she made a choice that bought her time, but also set up a much bigger fallout later.

She Lied About a Double Major to Keep the Peace, Now Her Parents Say She’s Betrayed Them
Not the actual photo

Here’s how it all unfolded.

'AITA for lying to my parents about double majoring in college when they are paying my tuition?'

I am one month out from graduating with a major in Business and a minor in Computer Science.

My parents found out I have been lying about double-majoring in Business and Computer Science for almost a year.

Ever since I started college, my mom has had very rigid expectations about what I should major in and what career I should have postgrad, which has created a lot...

At first, I went along with it, taking both business and CS classes because I figured the headache of arguing wasn't worth it, and it seemed possible at the time.

I had a medical emergency in my junior year that sent me to the ER and caused me to miss an exam. I ended up withdrawing from that class, which...

It was always going to be a tight squeeze to graduate on time, and this setback made it mathematically impossible for me to graduate on time, given the school's per-semester...

In fact, now that I'm recalculating, I don't think double majoring was ever possible in the first place,

even if I played all my cards right from the second I stepped foot on campus, but I sadly wasn't thinking that far when I first agreed to it.

Seeing no future where I could realistically finish a double major, plus the fact that my heart was never in CS to begin with,

I had a conversation with my mom about turning CS into a minor instead and majoring only in business.

For what it's worth, this wasn't me trying to take the easy way out. I had a 4.0 in all of my CS classes,

but I still leaned more toward the business route and already had internships and now a job offer in this field.

However, she was not receptive to this at all and insisted that I go through with both majors.

There were some heated arguments, which devolved into her saying how much of a waste of tuition I was, how I was an epic disappointment, how I was not living...

In the end, she refused to accept a compromise where I turned CS into a minor.

Seeing no resolution, I ended up lying and telling her that I was majoring in both.

I kept the lie going for almost a year, making up CS classes that I was taking. I've always excelled in school, so they never really bothered to check until...

My mom is beyond pissed and refuses to talk to me since she found out. I feel bad about my choice to lie, and understand why she feels betrayed and...

I also admit that having my parents pay my tuition means that they have some say in my education. But I also feel as though they didn't leave me many...

AITA for lying about my major in college when my parents are paying my tuition, even though their demands were impossible to meet and they refused to compromise?.

EDIT: Since this has been widely suggested, extending by a semester or two is not an option.

My college's policies expressly state they will not grant an extra semester solely to complete an extra major. Added some more details in other comments.

From the start of college, her path wasn’t entirely her own. Her mom had a clear vision, business and computer science, both, no exceptions. At first, she went along with it. It felt easier than constant arguments, and early on, it even seemed doable.

She kept up with both tracks, juggling classes and maintaining strong grades. On paper, everything looked fine. But behind the scenes, it was already a tight squeeze. Double majoring within the school’s credit limits required near-perfect planning from day one.

Then something happened that changed everything.

During her junior year, she had a medical emergency that landed her in the ER. She missed an exam and had to withdraw from a required computer science class.

That single disruption didn’t just delay her, it made the double major timeline collapse completely.

When she recalculated her path, the truth became clear. Even under ideal conditions, finishing both majors on time may never have been realistic. Now, it was flat-out impossible.

So she did what most people would consider the responsible next step. She tried to talk to her mom.

She explained the situation, the missed class, the credit limits, the reality of the timeline. She proposed a compromise, keep business as her major, turn computer science into a minor.

It wasn’t a step back in effort. She still had a 4.0 in her CS courses. It was simply a more realistic path, especially since her interests and job prospects were already leaning toward business.

But the conversation didn’t go the way she hoped.

Instead of understanding, her mom doubled down. The double major wasn’t negotiable. The discussion quickly turned emotional, then harsh.

Words like “waste of tuition” and “epic disappointment” entered the conversation. There was no room for flexibility, no acknowledgment of the medical setback, and no willingness to adapt.

At that point, the student found herself cornered.

She could either continue arguing, risking ongoing conflict and possibly financial consequences, or she could say what her mom wanted to hear and move forward with what was actually possible.

So she lied.

She told her mom she was still pursuing both majors. For nearly a year, she kept up the story, inventing classes, maintaining the illusion, and quietly continuing on her real path, business major, CS minor, internships, and eventually a job offer.

In a way, she built two parallel realities. One for her life, and one for her mom’s expectations.

It worked, until it didn’t.

Eventually, her parents found out. And when they did, the reaction was immediate and intense. Her mom felt betrayed and cut off communication entirely. From her perspective, this wasn’t just about academics, it was about trust.

And that’s where the situation becomes complicated.

On one hand, lying for a year is not a small thing. Trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild, especially between parent and child. Her mom’s anger isn’t surprising in that sense.

But on the other hand, the lie didn’t happen in a vacuum.

The student had tried to be honest. She had explained the situation and proposed a reasonable alternative.

She had strong grades, real-world experience, and a job lined up. Objectively, she was succeeding. The only thing she wasn’t doing was meeting an expectation that had become impossible.

When honesty leads to rejection and pressure, people sometimes turn to avoidance instead. Not because they want to deceive, but because they don’t see another workable option.

There’s also a bigger question here about control. Parents who pay for education often feel they deserve a say, and to some extent, that’s fair. But there’s a difference between guidance and rigid control.

Expecting a practical, employable degree is one thing. Demanding a specific, inflexible path regardless of circumstances is another.

In this case, the line seems to have been crossed.

And now both sides are dealing with the consequences, one feels lied to, the other feels like she was never given a real choice.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Most people sided with the student, pointing out that she had tried to communicate honestly before resorting to lying. 

strangelifereally − NTA. You did what you had to do. She was being unreasonable

Dittoheadforever − I was at E-S-H because of the lying, but you tried to have that conversation and your mom forced her rigidly controlling BS on you.

I can understand parents having some say in your major when they're paying tuition (like not paying for some totally unmarketable degree in cave painting), but your mom is unreasonable....

dreambytez − yeah u should’ve been honest earlier but her reaction shows exactly why u didnt

Many felt the mother’s reaction actually proved why the truth had been so difficult to share in the first place. 

BothTreacle7534 − NTA if her expectations do not allow for even something like your emergency, maybe not even for 1 day of rest, than her expectations were simply wrong.

That is on her, not on you. The additional pressure she caused by this is counterproductive to her goals, that too is on her. Sometimes parents are bad parents, she...

for not wavering / realising there is something wrong, and for how she reacts to it. I consider every person who is ’my way or the highway’

not a good person, there is in my experience always a possibility to adjust at least some detail…. if all involved are willing to search for a solution.

Big_Homie_Rich − NTA I'm not sure why people get this arbitrary timelines stuck in their heads.

Saying you got a double major is a great talking point but no one cares. You can talk to an advisor and see which classes you need to take to...

As for your mom, I'd ask why was a double major so important? I can tell you, as a hiring manager, I've never asked about a double major and if...

" Depending on the role I'm hiring for, I'd rather spend my time talking about your experiences and you, not what you learned in school.

A double major is cool if you can get it without burning yourself out. However, internships are more important in my book.

Let your mom sit in her feelings. She'll get over it, or miss out on your adult life. You already have a job lined up. Just succeed at whatever you...

Others acknowledged that while the lie wasn’t ideal, it came from a situation where every honest option led to conflict.

mothmilk_8 − paying tuition doesn’t mean controlling your entire life path smh there’s a line

DrippyMagoo − NTA if they pay for your wedding, do they get to pick who you marry, too?

I get why you think they have a say, but it’s more like a “I’m not paying for you to study puppeteering” kind of say, not “you’re studying the right...

”They were unreasonable from the start, and your mom is automatically the AH for saying you’re an “epic disappointment” for not being her perfect child that does exactly what she...

OldManSpeed − OP here has "already had internships and now a job offer in this field. " That should be enough to satisfy any parent. It's not like OP is...

Clear_Ad6844 − NTA. You had a reasonable conversation with her following your health emergency. It was clear then that she wasn't going to accept the necessary changes in your plans.

You're still graduating with an excellent degree. I wish you well and hope you find a good job quickly so she can see you'll be all right.

CoyoteSingle2468 − Insisting someone major in computer science during an AI boom is such a bad idea. All my friends with CS jobs are struggling so hard right now and...

Even the really talented ones. My brother graduated with a cd degree a year ago and still doesn't have a related job.

Your mom picked the hot up and coming job of her era and thinks that's still true. ..how stupid.

The student made a choice that solved one problem but created another. The mother held onto a vision that didn’t adjust when circumstances changed. Somewhere in between, communication broke down completely.

Maybe the real question isn’t whether the lie was right or wrong, but whether it could have been avoided at all. Because when honesty feels like it will only make things worse, people don’t always choose it.

So what do you think? Was this a betrayal of trust, or the only way forward in an impossible situation?

 

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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