Before the story even unfolds, one thing is clear: this situation started as a harmless office tradition and somehow spiraled into a mini workplace mystery. All the OP wanted was a simple breakdown of how the team social fund was being used.
But the moment she asked, her coworker Liam went from friendly to evasive and then defensive.
Soon enough, the entire office had opinions, Reddit had even stronger ones, and OP was left wondering if she had violated some unwritten rule of office politics by asking where her own money was going.
Here’s The Original Post:
A 24-year-old employee had just started her first full-time job and wanted to do things the “right” way.
Her department had an optional social fund – a small monthly contribution used for birthday treats, team lunches, and small workplace celebrations. It sounded normal, so she joined after a coworker named Liam invited her.
Liam was in charge of collecting everyone’s contributions. Nothing seemed odd – until she decided to be more intentional about tracking her expenses.
Remembering her mom’s constant lesson – always know where your money is going – she simply asked Liam for a breakdown of what had been purchased so far.
He said, “Yeah, I’ll get it to you later.”
He didn’t.
She asked again a few days later. Silence. He reminded her of her upcoming contribution, but ignored the request for the breakdown every single time. Even stranger, he responded to other chats, just not that one.
Eventually, when he asked for her payment in person, she repeated her request, politely. Liam’s entire vibe changed. He sighed, got annoyed, and snapped:
“Nobody else needs this level of detail. It’s supposed to be casual. You’re making it weird.”
Then he walked away mid-conversation.
After this, other coworkers started hinting that she was “overthinking” the situation or being “stingy.”
So now she’s stuck wondering: Is she the jerk for refusing to pay until she sees where the money went?
Why This Turned Into a Bigger Issue Than It Needed to Be
This situation triggered a heated online debate because it sits right at the intersection of workplace norms, money etiquette, and basic accountability.
Most experts agree on one core point:
If a person manages pooled money – even small amounts – transparency is part of the responsibility.
What financial experts say:
Transparency Isn’t Optional When Someone Handles Group Funds
Certified financial planner Pamela Capalad, CFP, said in a CNBC Make It interview:
“Any time people contribute to a shared pool of money – even informally – the person handling it needs to keep a simple, transparent record. It protects them as much as everyone else.”
(Source: CNBC Make It, “How to handle shared expenses with friends,” 2022)
This applies whether it’s $5 or $500.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
People saying Liam is very likely mismanaging funds or getting “free lunches” out of the fund. His irritation and avoidance looked like guilt to them.
Some believed the contributions might be tiny (like $2–$5), and the OP was overreacting because this isn’t supposed to be a corporate audit.
People saying she’s not wrong for asking, but she should simply opt out instead of pushing harder.
So… Is She the AITA?
Verdict: NOT THE A–HOLE but she needs a clearer exit strategy.
Here’s why:
Transparency is a normal expectation.
His defensiveness is disproportionate.
It’s her money – participation is optional.
Asking twice isn’t harassment.
But experts would likely advise this:
Stop asking for the breakdown. Just say, “I’m opting out for personal budgeting reasons,” and be done.
That avoids drama while protecting herself. What do you think?
