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Should a Teenager Pay for Her Brother’s Childcare? This Dad Thinks So

by Charles Butler
February 6, 2026
in Social Issues

We all know that the last year of high school is supposed to be the stuff of movies. You know the drill: locker room chats, prom preparations, and those final farewells to the hallways that raised you. But for one Redditor, her senior year took a detour into “Nannyland.” When the world slowed down, she stepped up to help her family during a difficult time. She spent her mornings juggling her own studies and her five year old nephew.

However, as her graduation draws closer, she is ready to trade her playroom duties for a desk and a chalkboard. This decision did not sit well with her brother, who has become a bit too comfortable with his free child care arrangement.

Things got especially heated when the brother made a truly puzzling financial demand. It is a story that highlights just how quickly “doing a favor” can turn into an “expected duty.” Let’s unwrap this family mystery together.

The Story

Should a Teenager Pay for Her Brother’s Childcare? This Dad Thinks So
Not the actual photo

AITA For Returning To School and Leaving My Brother Without A Baby-sitter?

For context my school this year has both an online option for students and an in person one. I am a senior.

During October we had a huge covid spike in my town (we weren't affected by the first wave hardly at all we got three cases and that was it)

and about 7 kids at my school got the virus. Because of that the school district decided to cancel all in person learning for the rest of the semester.

Flash forward to January and our school reopens I decide to stay online because there are still a decent number of cases in my town

and I don't want to risk it. My nephew who is 5 lives with us on a bi weekly basis and goes to a local preschool

which is half day he goes in at 11am. For the past two or three months my family has been using me and my father as baby sitters

for him in the morning since I am home and everyone else is at work. On Tuesday and Thursdays my father has dialysis so it's just me.

Now we are approaching the final marking period and case numbers in my town have gone down significantly and I want to go back for my final

marking period as a high school student. This leaves my brother with no babysitter for his kid in the morning on Tuesday and Thursdays.

He got upset with me and told me that I was screwing him over for because I don't want to watch his son ( I had previously

complained that watching his son made it hard for me to do classwork ). I told him that I just wanted my final marking period in school to be in...

He says he can't afford babysitters because most of the ones around our town have increased prices and shortened the number of kids they watch due to the

pandemic. He even tried to tell me that I should pay for half of whatever babysitter he wants because I want to go back to school

so bad. My mom shut this last one down although I was never going to go through with that anyways. But honestly as we are approaching

March and the dawn of me returning to school my brother still hasn't found a sitter although my nephews great Uncle has offered to watch him for

80$ a day (this would only be on Tuesday and Thursdays). I feel like I may be the a__hole here because babysitting is expensive and my family

is struggling financially at the moment. But I do want to see my friends and teachers again.. AITA?

Reading this honestly makes me want to give this student a giant high five and a graduation tassel early. Senior year is such a sacred, fleeting time in life. You only get to say goodbye to high school once, and it feels unfair to spend those precious final weeks under the pressure of someone else’s parenting responsibilities.

It’s truly difficult to see a young person feel guilty for wanting to be exactly where they belong: in a classroom with their peers. While family loyalty is a wonderful thing, it should never come at the expense of a student’s own future and mental well-being.

The fact that she was asked to help pay for a new sitter is the cherry on top of a very confusing cake. We should always support young people in reaching for their goals without the weight of adult problems.

Expert Opinion

This situation touches on a very real issue often discussed by sociologists called “invisible labor.” Within families, certain members—often younger or female relatives—are expected to provide unpaid care because “they are home anyway.” This creates a dynamic where the person providing the help starts to feel like their own time and goals are less valuable than the needs of the rest of the group.

According to a report from Psychology Today, healthy boundaries are essential when it comes to family favors. When a “favor” becomes a requirement, the helper often begins to feel a sense of burnout and resentment. For a student, this can lead to something called “academic distress,” where their focus shifts away from their future and onto current family obligations.

Research shared by VeryWellMind suggests that in person learning is vital for the social and emotional development of seniors. These final months of high school act as a bridge to adulthood. Denying a student that transition to save on childcare costs is a short term solution that can have long term impacts on the student’s sense of self and their relationship with their siblings.

Dr. Laura Markham, a child and family expert, often emphasizes that children are the responsibility of the parents who brought them into the world. While a village is helpful, the village members should be allowed to retire from their roles when their own lives require their attention.

In this specific case, the brother’s demand that the sister pay for his childcare is a form of “projected stress.” Because he is feeling the financial pinch of the world, he is looking for a way to regain control. Unfortunately, he is doing it by putting an unfair burden on someone who is still a student.

Community Opinions

The community response was a resounding chorus of support for the high school student. Many users were quite firm in their belief that her education must come first.

Commenters made it very clear that the sibling is not responsible for child care choices.
[Reddit User] − NTA. None of this is your responsibility. Unfortunately these are routine issues that parents face when having children.

You’re not the parent, so it’s 100% not your problem.

CarlowCarlo − NTA your education comes first. ..please prioritize that. ...your brother should not make his problems your problem. ...

SmartassMouth89 − NTA his kid his job to find someone one to watch him.

Many focused on the fact that education should always be a student’s number one priority.
shmeegal_ − NTA. Don’t ever let anyone or anything get in the way of your education.

Your brother is being selfish and should have known you wouldn’t be staying home forever.

HistoricalInaccurate − NTA - You are not a free baby sitting service and your education come first...

If you are able to have some sense of normalcy for your last few months in high school, than you should.

TeemReddit − NTA. Your responsibility is to take care of you, not to babysit... You should go back if you want to and don't let anyone talk you out of...

Several people found it almost impossible to believe the brother asked a teenager for childcare funds.

Extension_Ad_2776 − Nta... you didn't bring this baby to life and has the audacity to demand money from you to pay for baby sitter wtf ? ?? You are brother...

Ga1athor − NTA your not a free live in baby sitter and anyone just expecting it is auto AH

Environmental_Sand45 − NTA It's his kid and his responsibility. I have kids and would never dream of acting as entitled as your brother.

Users pointed out that the brother should have planned for this eventuality months ago.
Kerri_23 − NTA - If covid never would have happened, you would have been in school this whole time and he would have had to figure it out.

You have been doing him a favor all this time, but this is 100% his issue to figure out.

Remarkable-Sun7932 − NTA... You are a high school student and have already done more than you had to these last couple months.

There’s no way you should change your plans to accommodate his needs.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

When you find yourself in the middle of a family obligation that is pulling you away from your dreams, the most helpful step is clear communication. It is completely okay to remind your loved ones that your time is valuable. You can express that you love your family while still saying “no” to things that jeopardize your school or your job.

If you are a student, your primary “work” is your education. You do not need to feel guilty for being exactly where your age and your stage of life require you to be. It can be useful to give people a “heads up” early on. Letting someone know weeks in advance that your schedule is changing can give them time to adjust their own plans. But at the end of the day, a parent’s child care needs are their own to manage.

Conclusion

This student is doing the right thing by looking forward to her graduation day. While it is hard to see family members struggle, a high school senior should never be the financial or practical fallback for an adult’s childcare issues. We are all rooting for her to enjoy her final days in person.

Do you think the brother was way out of line for asking for money? Or can you understand the stress of a parent trying to survive in a difficult world? Let us know what you think of this family puzzle below. We can’t wait to read your stories of family teamwork and tricky boundaries.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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