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Bride’s Party Explodes After Maid of Honor Tells Guest She Can’t Come to the Bachelorette – ‘You’re Not Going Because You Can’t Afford It

by Sunny Nguyen
October 13, 2025
in Social Issues

A Redditor’s bachelorette bash turned into a budget battle royale when one guest’s financial flip-flopping threw the Maid of Honor’s plans into chaos.

Imagine orchestrating a weekend getaway for 18 girls, matching outfits, themed drinks, perfect playlists, only to have one person’s money drama turn your group chat into a reality TV showdown.

Our frazzled Maid of Honor (MOH) thought she had everything locked down. She’d booked a dreamy $7,000 Airbnb, divided the costs, and kept the spreadsheets running smoother than a DJ’s setlist.

But then came one guest, let’s call her A, whose uncertainty about payments, refunds, and attendance sent the whole operation spinning faster than a disco ball.

Was the MOH too harsh when she finally snapped with, “You’re not coming because you can’t afford it”? Or was A’s indecision the real party foul?

Bride’s Party Explodes After Maid of Honor Tells Guest She Can’t Come to the Bachelorette - ‘You’re Not Going Because You Can’t Afford It
Not the actual photo

Grab a cocktail and dive into this purse-pinching saga below!

AITA for telling a girl she’s not coming to the bachelorette because she can’t afford it, after she kept changing her mind and having other people speak for her?

I’m the MOH planning an 18-girl bachelorette. In January, I started the group chat and put down ~$7k for the Airbnb. Everyone had until March to pay their $375 share.

This week I sent the rest of the budget, $250 due by Aug 1.. Then I got a text from a girl we’ll call A:

“Hey it’s A! I didn’t realize we were going to have to send more money on top of the $375 we sent.

I just moved into my first apartment and I have no money to give at the moment or in the next couple of months. I definitely cannot afford it right...

Do you want to just give me the $375 back? Or is there something we can do for me to still go? Lmk thx.”

I replied, “I’ll send you your money back.” She said:“Okay! Thx.”. I refunded her, reran the numbers, and updated the group.

The next day, I got a text from girl B saying she and A now want to come just for Saturday. A bit frustrating, but I said okay and adjusted...

Later that night, another bridesmaid told me girl C had contacted her to ask me to give A an extension. I’ve never met A, B, or C, and I was...

“Hey, I’m honestly confused. You mentioned you couldn’t pay and wanted your $375 back, then B said you’re both coming just for Saturday, and now D is asking C about...

I totally understand things can change, but each time they do, I have to redo all the numbers, which is a lot to manage. Can you let me know your...

A: “I didn’t say I wanted my $375 back, i asked if you wanted to give that to me or if there was something we can do for me to...

Because I want to be there for BRIDE. I didn’t ask B to ask you for me she just did it and so did D. They just want me to...

Me: “You said ‘i have no money to give at the moment or in the next couple of months. I definitely cannot afford it right now. Do you want to...

That sounds like a beat around the bush way of asking for your money back to me. I don’t care who asked who, all I care about is your final...

You didn’t ask me for an extension. You did not come to me with a plan ‘hey, money is tight for me.

Would I be able to send you half of my remaining balance on August 1st and the other half August 15th?’

Not ‘I definitely cannot afford it now or in the next couple of months.’ I’m not a bank. I don’t know you. I’m not in charge of your finances.”

A: “‘Or is there something we can do for me to still go? Lmk thx’ Did you not read this? Not beating around the bush at all but god why...

you could have given everyone a heads up that the price could change or have some kind of budget..

I understand this is stressful for you, but you don’t need to be rude to people especially people you don’t know. I’m good actually.

I just won’t go. Hope it’s easier for you lol. When BRIDE asks why I’m not going anymore, I’ll be sure to let her know.”

Me: “You’re not going because you can’t afford it.”

Expert Opinion: When Money Talks, Miscommunication Walks

Planning a bachelorette party is like herding glitter-dusted cats,chaotic, sparkly, and almost guaranteed to leave someone crying in a group chat. Our MOH faced exactly that when A, after recently moving, couldn’t afford the extra $250 due on top of her earlier $375 payment.

Her messages swung wildly between asking for a refund and hinting she still wanted to come, while friends B, C, and D jumped in as middlemen trying to smooth things over.

The MOH, juggling 18 opinions and a massive tab, saw A’s flip-flopping as frustrating and time-consuming. Her sharp response might have been a stress-fueled snap, but from her point of view, it was the only way to protect the plan and her sanity.

From A’s side, embarrassment likely played a big part. Admitting financial hardship can be hard, especially in a high-pressure social event. She may have hoped for empathy without directly asking for it.

Reddit’s reaction was divided: some called the MOH “blunt but justified,” while others argued she could’ve shown more compassion.

A 2023 Eventbrite survey revealed that 68% of group event planners stress most about shared costs, with poor communication being the top culprit (source: Eventbrite).

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman adds, “Clear communication prevents resentment in group dynamics” (source: Gottman Institute).

In this case, both sides dropped the ball. The MOH could’ve offered a flexible payment plan or a private chat to clarify things.

A could’ve been upfront instead of relying on her friends to speak for her. Group trips thrive on transparency, set clear budgets, payment deadlines, and refund policies from day one.

Here's the input from the Reddit crowd:

Some users sided with the MOH, arguing that A’s indirectness created unnecessary drama.

the805chickenlady − ESH. Also an 18 person bachelorette party sounds like hell on Earth to me.

kurokomainu − NTA Your last reply cuts through all the BS. She was hinting and indirectly asking through her friends for you to "somehow" make it possible for her to...

She doesn't want to directly ask and commit to paying herself at some point.

She was hoping that you would offer something without her having to ask and she would end up not having to repay anyone, with the cost absorbed by the group...

(I'm sure she doesn't care where the money actually comes from as long as it's not from her pocket). She ends by threatening to blame you if she can't come.

Your reply neatly put an end to the whole game.

ThisWillAgeWell − Another commenter here said "Communication has been poor all round". and I'm inclined to agree.

Text messages are fine for brief, unproblematic issues, or for confirming what you've already spoken about so that you have written evidence in case of any misunderstanding or dispute later...

"This text is just to clarify, we agreed on X, Y & Z during our phone convo earlier. Correct?

"But for any situation that is delicate or awkward, such as asking for a special favor, text messages are not ideal because you can't discern tone from a text, and...

I would particularly like to know what led A to get this idea into her head: "I didn’t realize we were going to have to send more money on top...

Are A's powers of comprehension lacking, or did OP fail to spell out clearly right at the outset that everyone would be expected to pay $375 in March and another...

Others sympathized with A, seeing her as a friend quietly drowning in financial stress. The most common takeaway? Group planning needs a touch of empathy and a lot of Excel.

No-Potential-7242 − I feel sorry for everyone here. There are still people who won't talk to me because I couldn't afford to go to their insanely expensive weddings

and the endless expensive events around them and some of them are now divorced and remarried or have kids who have left home.

What you should take from this situation is this rule for yourself: NEVER put money down on behalf of a group. Do not do it.

If you absolutely have to be the organizer, ask for a deposit from everyone. You'll find that people magically stop messing you around when they have to pony up. Was...

But she clearly can't afford the trip and is struggling to figure out how to make things work. She's not the organizer, so doesn't realize how incredibly time-consuming and awful...

You shouldn't have to deal with it all and it's understandable you're sick of rearranging everything.

At this point, remind yourself that as far as organizing this trip, you're like a professional who is working on behalf of the bride.

People may frustrate the hell out of you, but try to keep the peace for the bride's sake and remind yourself that you'll expect someone to do the same for...

I would write to this person and say something like, "I'm sorry about the tension. I know these this is expensive.

It's a struggle for me because I have paid for everything so far and people keep changing their plans. Could we Zoom and talk about how to make this work/clear...

KMN208 − First of all: Wo wants to spend what will likely end up ro be roughly $1000 when considering travel and food on a forced vacation with 18 people...

That's an insane expectation. Secondly, it sounds like total cost wasn't communicated properly.

People should ask, but organsizers should also be very clear on that or even better: ASK what people are willing to spend and where their hard limits are.

Why isn't this the standard first question in bachelorette-groups? $100 might be nothing for one person and the difference for having money for food for another.

You may argue that that person simply can't afford the bacherlorette, but as a bride I'd rather have a simple bachelorette with all my friends than a luxury event that...

somemone close to me is either missing or really straining financially. ESH , potentially including the bride for unreasonable expactions

Real_RobinGoodfellow − What an exhausting situation

[Reddit User] − NTA, As an adult, I take other adults at face value. I am not a mind reader, if someone tells me they cannot afford something

I am not going to make a wild assumption that they are low key asking for an extension. I am going to take them at their word.

If I was organizing an 18 person bachelorette party I would not have the energy to play passive guessing games with potential guests, especially ones I don’t know.

And pro tip for future planners: never front big group costs without upfront deposits, and always confirm everyone’s total commitment before booking anything major.

meruu_meruu − I don't think there was anything wrong with the initial conversation. She reached out and explained she realized she couldn't afford the full amount so could she get...

It was easier for you to just give back the money, understandable because this sounds like a logistic nightmare, and she seemed to respect that.

But then it sounds like B C and D were upset to hear she wasn't coming which led to a conversation where they wanted to figure something out.

It's entirely possible A genuinely didn't know others were asking things on her behalf just like she says. But maybe she did, who knows.

I understand you're massively stressed planning this all, but you did come at her pretty hard. If she genuinely didn't know others were asking you things on her behalf, she...

And you say you don't know her, so it's not like she has a reputation for pulling things like this right?

You didn't really have a reason to assume the worst of her. And then you said this in the comments; She and I have very different jobs, and educations which...

I'm not sure what you mean by that but it really doesn't come off great. With the info I've got here I'm gonna say YTA.

ExchangeQuiet9607 − YTA We are all so chronically online and disconnected that we have this complex that everybody should always be responsible for themselves and that any minor inconvenience someone...

The truth is that this girl is a HUMAN, and you had no empathy or kindness for her. Just be kind, like damn.

We all know that admitting we don’t have enough money for something can be awkward and embarrassing.

Why not give her the benefit of the doubt and be curious about how you could problem solve together? YTA because you chose being “right” over being human.

happybanana134 − ESH. I think you're both arguing semantics to be honest. To me, her first message was clear that she wanted to go but didn't have 250 to hand....

If you couldn't adjust things so she could attend, you should have shut B, C and D down instead of reaching out to A.

If you can adjust things, and she can now go, that's where you needed to leave it, instead continuing to tell her off for her communication. This sounds like communication...

Who Crashed the Party Vibe?

This bachelorette budget blowup fizzled the fun before the champagne could even pop. The MOH’s sharp words might’ve been the result of stress and exhaustion, but A’s mixed signals and lack of clarity didn’t help matters either.

At the end of the day, both were navigating the same issue, money, just from different emotional standpoints. The MOH wanted reliability; A wanted understanding. Unfortunately, what they got was conflict.

Was the MOH right to draw a hard financial line, or should she have shown a little more grace to a struggling friend? Did A’s friends make things worse by acting as go-betweens?

How would you handle a friend’s flaky finances during a big group bash? Drop your hot takes below and tell us whether this party fail was more “Bride Wars” or “Budget Blunder.”

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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