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Sitcom-Like Family Fights Over 20-Something’s Shower Routine At 7:30 A.M. And Dad Morning Coffee-Fueled Action

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A 20-something’s 7:30 a.m. shower clashes with their coffee-loving dad’s routine in a packed house with one bathroom, stirring family tension. Reddit’s AITA boils with takes: is OP’s timing selfish or dad’s tantrums the issue?

In a home of six with a single bathroom, morning schedules collide as OP’s shower overlaps with dad’s caffeine-fueled rush. With two kids and three others scrambling, the daily spat over sink time turns tense. Reddit debates: some call OP’s routine rigid, others slam dad’s outbursts. The saga probes family logistics versus personal space, splitting users on who’s hogging the shower in this cramped, chaotic household.

A Redditor’s 7:30 a.m. shower clashes with Dad’s routine, stirring family tension.

Sitcom-Like Family Fights Over 20-Something's Shower Routine At 7:30 A.M. And Dad Morning Coffee-Fueled Action
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH for taking a shower every day at 7:30?'

For context, I (early twenties) live with my family of 5 other people (2 of which are children) and we all share one bathroom.

I always take my shower at the exact same time every morning and I’m usually in the bathroom for about 20 minutes tops.

Before I take my shower, I let everyone who’s awake know I’m doing so and give them the opportunity to use the bathroom.

Now, my father (nearing 50) has begun throwing a fit about this. He says, and I quote,

“I have a morning routine too, I drink my coffee and I have to take a s__t after, I don’t know when I’m gonna have to s__t.”

He wants me to take my showers after I get home from work, instead of in the mornings, because that’s what he does.

My mother thinks I should just wake up earlier so I can take a shower at 7, before he wakes up.

I think that’s ridiculous because I don’t leave for work until 8:30 and that would f__k with my entire sleeping schedule and morning routine.

I’d be sitting here with my thumb up my a__ for at least an hour before I can even leave for work.

And before anyone says ‘just move out’, please just know I would if I could.

Edit: adding some extra info here, I USED to take a shower at 7:45, so I’ve already pushed my time back by 15 minutes,

but then I am still in there until around 7:45-7:50 so…

Editing this again because I’m personally disregarding any message who complains that I’m an adult living with family,

clearly you’re coming in here with bias. I’m one of two adult children living here and I’m the only one one who actually works.

I contribute to bills and I pay for my own s__t. It has absolutely nothing to do with this post, not everyone is afforded the same privilege as you.

Final edit for clarification. The 20 minutes isn’t JUST shower time. I use the bathroom, brush my teeth, shave and shower in 20 minutes.

Second of all, no I don’t pay rent or utilities (which is 500 a month as far as I know) my dad pays that and we both buy food for...

Without going into detail, I contribute about 650 a month across everything I help with, give or take a hundred.

(Storage, food, animal care, etc.) And again, I’m one of two adult children living here and the only one contributing ANYTHING at all.

Not that any of this has to do with my bathroom usage.

Final final edit: my dad is his own boss. He can wake up and leave for work whenever he wants to, usually NINE.

This Redditor’s 20-minute morning routine: showering, brushing teeth, shaving, and more has collided head-on with their dad’s post-coffee bathroom urgency.

The OP’s been considerate, notifying everyone before hopping in, but Dad’s not having it, demanding evening showers instead.

Mom’s suggests waking up earlier. The OP, however, clings to their routine, unwilling to trade sleep for peace. It’s a classic case of clashing priorities in a cramped space.

From the OP’s perspective, their 7:30 a.m. slot is sacred. They’re out in 20 minutes, leaving plenty of time before their 8:30 work departure.

They’ve even adjusted from 7:45 to accommodate others, yet Dad, his own boss with a flexible 9:00 a.m. start, won’t budge. His argument hinges on his unpredictable post-coffee needs, which, let’s be real, sound like a personal scheduling issue.

Meanwhile, the OP’s holding their ground, contributing $650 monthly to household expenses while their sibling chips in nothing. It’s less about entitlement and more about fairness in a packed house.

On the flip side, Dad’s not entirely off-base. Aging can make bodily functions less predictable, and a single bathroom for six people is a logistical nightmare.

According to a 2023 survey by the National Association of Home Builders, 60% of households with multiple generations report space-related conflicts, often around shared amenities like bathrooms.

Dad’s frustration might stem from feeling sidelined in his own home, especially as the primary bill-payer. Still, his delivery – throwing fits rather than negotiating – escalates the tension.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family dynamics expert, notes, “Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship”. This principle extends seamlessly to family households, where building emotional bonds through mutual understanding can turn routine squabbles, like a morning bathroom standoff, into opportunities for connection rather than division.

In the Redditor’s scenario, a 20-minute shower routine isn’t just about hygiene, it’s a ritual that anchors their day amid shared living pressures.

Dad’s post-coffee urgency, meanwhile, reveals a vulnerability tied to aging and flexibility.

By leaning into that “deep friendship,” family members can validate these needs without score-keeping, fostering empathy that lightens the load of cohabitation.

Gottman’s decades of research highlight how such friendships act as the glue against gridlock, with couples (and by extension, families) who prioritize fondness and admiration navigating conflicts 5:1 more positively than negatively.

Applied here, it means shifting from demands to dialogue: The OP could share why their routine feels non-negotiable, while Dad opens up about his frustrations, creating space for collaborative fixes.

Both parties could use this attunement: The OP might experiment with a slightly earlier shower, say 7:15, to dodge Dad’s coffee routine, while Dad could time his morning brew to sync with the bathroom’s availability.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Some defend OP’s 20-minute morning shower as reasonable and part of a known routine.

IsabelRex − These comments are tripping me out. A 20 minute shower is NOT long??

Washing your hair, body, maybe shaving or whatever the routine is, using the bathroom for 20 minutes at the same time everyday

is probably the most convenient way to do it. If your dad has to s__t immediately after drinking his coffee,

he can wait 10 minutes into your shower and start drinking it so when you’re done he can go right in.

NTA, you’re not just living with family, you’re an adult sharing space with other adults and it sounds like paying your share,

I see no reason he can’t also be an adult and make sure if he’s going to eat or drink something he KNOWS upsets his stomach,

he’s doing so when he knows the bathroom is available.

ConfectionExtra7869 − NTA. Your routine is well known by this point, and you give people the opportunity to use the bathroom before you shower.

I don't think waking up 30 minutes earlier is going to make much of a difference because your father wants you to shower in the evening.

For the sake of peace and a little good faith, you could try waking up at 7 (or 7:15) and see how it plays out.

hiatitae − Nta. 20mins is reasonable for anyone with hair to wash. I take about 20mins for my showers and my hair isn't even past my shoulder blades.

And I'm not using 5 different products either, just shampoo and conditioner. That whole process takes up half my shower, easy.

tama0811 − NTA lol the comments calling YTA are wild. 20 minutes is perfectly fine and people telling you to just move out is peak Reddit.

Others argue OP should compromise in a shared household with one bathroom.

Icy_Coffee_5920 − YTA I say this lightly because I don’t think this makes you a literal a__hole

BUT when you share a house with other people you have to make compromises and accommodations.

It does not matter how long you’ve been doing it. If you expect them to meet your schedule demands why can’t you meet theirs?

I’m sure there is a compromise that can be reached and honestly if taking a shower every morning is important to you

I don’t think waking up a little earlier is a huge ask.

Linkcott18 − ESH. To be honest it's a little hard to judge here. We don’t know when everyone leaves or needs the bathroom.

That said, it is somewhat inconsiderate to use that much time in the bathroom during a high demand period in a large household.

Your dad has a fair point, even if he doesn't communicate it well, and these things get... less predictable as we age.

Maybe an alternative would be to take shorter showers?

Esham − 20min shower at 730am wouldn't fly in my house and it's just myself and my wife and child. Everyone uses the bathroom in the morning.

Yta to think you can always shower that long everyday at that time in a house of 5.

Some highlight cultural differences or practical solutions for shared bathroom use.

marunkaya − It's so funny to see how United States and think "well why you're a full adult living with your parents???" is a valid argument,

when it's just absurd. Idk man, life ain't a peach, you guys prefer your children to live in cars in the street

than letting them live in a house because they're "grown" now. The hell is wrong with you. NTA.

Everyone in the house has a routine. Having 1 bathroom in a house of 5 is actually nuts?

But all in all, in my country, old houses used to have one bath and... Nobody died for waiting. It is inconvenient? Yeah.

But EVERYONE deserves some private time in the bathroom. Twenty minutes is actually nothing.

OP can shower at any time of the day, but they want to shower in the morning. Period.

If they were using the bathroom for an hour while everybody waited, that would be a issue.

And people don't need to pay bills in the house to be treated as human beings with needs.

Far_Grapefruit_8220 − Holy s__t you're getting some absolutely wild responses here.

What time does your dad get up and drink a coffee? In an ideal world you'd want to be getting in the shower as he gets up (probably? Timing wise?).

If that's what's happening now then great! I do think you should try and squeeze down the time it all takes a bit,

but I don't know how long shaving takes, so maybe that's not possible? NAH really, but definitely NTA

Abject-Cranberry5941 − People thinking 20 minutes is a long shower are y'all ok?

This bathroom battle has all the makings of a family sitcom: tense mornings, a grumpy dad, and a Redditor just trying to stay clean. Was the OP wrong to stick to their 7:30 shower, or is Dad overreacting to his coffee-fueled urgency?

Could a simple schedule tweak save the day, or is this household doomed to daily drama? How would you navigate this chaos with one bathroom and six people? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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