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Son’s Pregnant Girlfriend Refuses to Work, So the Homeowner Draws a Line

by Sunny Nguyen
November 21, 2025
in Social Issues

A Redditor faced a household crisis that felt like a slow-motion train wreck. One young couple, a tight income, a surprise pregnancy and a guest who insisted every job was “beneath” her. When money already ran razor thin, this turned the house into a pressure cooker.

The homeowner watched bills climb, hot water run out and groceries shrink. Meanwhile, their son’s girlfriend settled deeper into the couch because she believed only a “respectable” job fit her former life. The problem was, her former life ended the moment she walked out of juvenile detention and moved into a home that relied on grit, not privilege.

So the homeowner laid out a simple plan. Once the baby arrived, everyone would work. They also offered childcare during the day. The only rule was fairness. If she refused, she and the son could find a place of their own.

That one sentence set off tears, accusations and a storm of family judgment. The internet had thoughts too. Many thoughts.

Now, read the full story:

Son’s Pregnant Girlfriend Refuses to Work, So the Homeowner Draws a Line
Not the actual photoAITA for telling my son's pregnant girlfriend to get a job once she has the baby or move out?

My son, "Steven", nineteen, has been getting into trouble with the police for small-time offences like stealing and fighting. This resulted in him getting sent to juvenile for a few...

When he came out he had to check in with probation regularly.

At the probation office, he met a girl, "Lizzie", twenty-one, and they hit it off. She had just come out after a year inside.

Her family are very well off, but they kicked her out so she was living in a hostel. She was only there temporarily and had nowhere to go after that,...

When Lizzie first moved in it was tough for her. She is used to a comfortable lifestyle and hoped to return to one when she came out, but she settled...

I gave Steven one more chance after he came home. Fair to him, he managed to get a job labouring on a building site.

Lizzie refuses to get a job. Before she got arrested she was studying for a degree and sees jobs like cleaning or admin as beneath her. She is trying to...

This is a problem, because even with me and Steven working, we barely make enough to cover rent, food and bills. More than once we have gone days without hot...

Lizzie became pregnant a few months back and decided to keep the baby. Steven supports her. I am happy for them, but this gives us another mouth to feed.

I said that once the baby is born, if both mother and baby are healthy, I expect Lizzie to take any available job. I work as a cleaner in evenings...

I told them if Lizzie refuses, they can look for a place of their own.

This made Lizzie cry. She said she does not want to do a “soul destroying” job because she used to have a bright future.

I understand that, but I have worked difficult jobs all my life, and this building site job is the first Steven ever had.

Living where we do, those jobs are part of life, and we cannot give her baby a stable home if she does not take one. AITA?

This story carries a heavy emotional weight. The OP wants to keep their household afloat and protect their son, their future grandchild and even Lizzie. They also carry the burden of being the only adult in the room who understands how fragile financial security can be.

Lizzie’s fear feels real. Losing a future she imagined and landing in a life defined by limitation must feel like standing at the edge of a cliff with no path back. Yet the OP is living in the world as it is. Bills come every month. Babies require stability. Money stretches only so far.

Both pressure and disappointment cling to every part of this story. It is not cruelty to ask someone to contribute. It is survival.

This tension shows up in many families where dreams collide with reality.

That brings us to the deeper question.

Financial strain mixed with unexpected parenthood creates one of the most stressful living environments for any household. Sociologically, this scenario matches a common pattern seen in multigenerational homes where young adults return or move in due to instability.

According to a Pew Research study, nearly 52 percent of adults aged 18 to 29 live with a parent, a number that climbed sharply after 2020. One of the primary reasons is economic strain, particularly tied to low wages and rising housing costs.

In this case, the OP is carrying a triple load. They provide housing, carry major bills and now prepare to support a newborn. That alone stretches emotional bandwidth. When another adult in the home refuses available employment based on personal preference, the strain grows even heavier.

Psychologist Dr. Joshua Klapow explained in an interview with TODAY that adults who cling to an idealized self image often struggle to accept “involuntary life transitions.” He describes this as a mental tug of war between who someone believed they were and the circumstances they live in now.

When a person stakes their identity on a “bright future,” losing that trajectory creates shame, denial and avoidance. Refusing any job considered “beneath them” becomes a way to protect their self concept, even if it hurts the people around them.

This lines up with Lizzie’s emotional reaction. She does not simply dislike cleaning or admin work. She associates those jobs with a fallen status and a sense of failure. Her tears may come from grief over the identity she built before prison, not the actual job itself.

But emotional upheaval does not erase practical responsibility. Research from the Child Welfare Information Gateway shows that infants in unstable financial environments face higher risks of housing insecurity, inconsistent nutrition and chronic stress within the household. Stability matters at the earliest stages of development. That means every adult who lives under the same roof impacts the baby’s well being.

The OP’s arrangement is not unreasonable. They offer childcare during the day. They do not expect Lizzie to sacrifice education forever. They simply ask her to contribute to shared survival. Entry level work does not end career ambitions. Many successful adults began with jobs they disliked while they rebuilt their lives.

Career coach Kimberly Cummings wrote in Forbes that “bridge jobs” are essential stepping stones. These roles help rebuild confidence, create structure, provide references and offer breathing room while long term goals take shape. For someone with a record, these jobs often open more doors than they close.

Another tension sits beneath the surface. Lizzie’s well off family cut her off. That history complicates the emotional environment inside the OP’s home. Children from affluent backgrounds sometimes internalize status expectations.

Losing parental support can trigger both entitlement and helplessness. Without guidance, this can create dependency on whoever extends the next hand.

The OP has already offered more than many would. They provide housing, coverage for utilities and unpaid childcare. This generosity is the foundation. Healthy boundaries are the walls that keep a home stable. Without those boundaries, resentment grows. Once resentment enters a household with a newborn, emotional safety often collapses.

A reasonable path forward includes:

  • A shared written agreement about financial contributions

  • A realistic job search plan

  • A clear expectation for household duties

  • A timeline for returning to school or training

This structure gives Lizzie dignity and direction while preventing one person from carrying the entire load.

At its core, this story highlights a universal truth. Love and hope cannot replace rent money. Everyone under one roof must help build the foundation, especially when a new life depends on it.

Check out how the community responded:

Many commenters backed OP for protecting their household. They felt Lizzie needed a reality check and a willingness to work any job available.

Ok-Profession-9372 - NTA but questioned why OP was happy about the pregnancy given the unstable situation. They suggested Lizzie seek help from her wealthy family.

fuzzy_mic - NTA and encouraged both working and moving out for long term stability.

ValeriaAugustine - NTA and asked what Lizzie did to get probation in the first place.

Cursd818 - NTA and argued OP had been too accommodating, calling the situation a disaster waiting to happen.

No-Mango8923 - Said people who look down on “menial” work lack true potential and praised OP’s wake up call.

bamf1701 - Emphasized that Lizzie made choices that altered her future and must take responsibility.

piccolo181 - NTA and said Lizzie could use a year of work to rebuild her future.

Lizzy sounds like a petulant affluent child. NTA.

Some commenters highlighted that survival requires work, even when jobs feel beneath someone’s former lifestyle.

[Reddit User] - Reminded OP that some jobs feel beneath people, but survival matters.

Another Reddit User - Asked how Lizzie planned to work with a baby and no childcare, raising a realistic concern.

This story shows how quickly a household can fall out of balance when financial strain meets unrealistic expectations. The OP is not punishing anyone. They are protecting the stability of a home already stretched thin. Asking another adult to contribute is normal, especially when a baby is coming and resources are tight.

Lizzie’s grief over her lost future feels real, but rebuilding a life often begins with uncomfortable steps. Many careers start in places that feel temporary. The truth is that pride cannot pay rent or diapers. A newborn needs structure, not dreams that depend on someone else’s paycheck.

The OP’s boundary is not harsh. It is necessary. A home is a shared effort, and every adult plays a part in keeping the environment steady for a child.

So, what do you think? Was this parent fair for asking the pregnant girlfriend to work, or should they have handled the situation differently? Would you have drawn the line sooner?

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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