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Stay At Home Mom Expects Friend To Cater To Her Mom Life; Friend Pushes Back

by Layla Bui
December 10, 2025
in Social Issues

Friendship expectations often clash with reality, and sometimes, even the closest friends can feel like strangers when life changes dramatically. Parenthood, in particular, can reveal how flexible or not a relationship really is.

In this story, a new mother has felt increasingly neglected by her best friend, who prefers going out with other people instead of stopping by for casual visits. Emotions ran high when a confrontation finally erupted, leaving questions about loyalty, priorities, and boundaries in its wake.

Scroll down to find out what happened and whether this friendship can survive the strain of adult responsibilities.

A new mother erupts at her best friend after feeling repeatedly neglected and excluded

Stay At Home Mom Expects Friend To Cater To Her Mom Life; Friend Pushes Back
not the actual photo

AITA for snapping at my friend who keeps ditching me because I now have a child?

Just over two years ago, I(f29) unexpectedly got pregnant and now have a beautiful 18 month old daughter, Ciara.

Over that time my friends circle got considerably smaller but my best friend remained, Mia (f31)

Mia doesn’t have kids nor wants kids but she’s been brilliant with Ciara.

I’m a SAHM and obviously don’t have as much time to hang out as I did previously.

Mia and I live on the same street (we’re in Manchester, England) and it’s a walking distance between our houses.

I’ve told Mia numerous times that she can just pop in whenever she wants to (she works from home)

but she rarely does.

She did at the beginning but it’s been happening less and less.

Instead, she keeps suggesting we go out for coffee or pizza or even a drink

but I don’t have the time and always just tell her to come over and we’ll have coffee at my place.

She asked if I wanted to go out with her and her other friends for a drink last weekend

but I said that no but she’s welcome to come over and we’ll have a few drinks at mine.

She said she already had plans and it felt weird to drink when she knows there’s a child around.

Honestly, I feel neglected. I feel like she put me on a back burner and doesn’t want to be friends anymore.

I’m always available but she rarely comes over and I don’t think that’s fair.

Today, I saw her photos from Saturday night out and I was fuming.

She ditched me just so she could go and drink like she’s 20 again.

I felt rejected and horrible, I thought we were best friends but she clearly doesn’t value me

when she won’t even have a few drinks with me at my house.

When she finished work, she called and asked if I fancied going for coffee to town

but I asked her to come over again. She said yes but before she disconnected, I heard her mumble “like always.”

This really annoyed me.

When she came over, I decided to be open about everything.

And while not my proudest or most mature moment, I shouted at her that she’s an awful friend,

that she barely comes over and if she doesn’t want to spend time with me to just say it and stop playing around.

She said she’s always been accommodating but it’s been 2 years and she doesn’t want to spend time with me

when there’s always a kid, especially now when she has to watch her language (Mia likes to swear).

I said that she knew I had a child and responsibilities.

And she said that Tom (my partner) could take care of Ciara once in a while so I could have a time off.

This felt really intrusive and I told her to mind her own business and not meddle on my marriage.

I was really angry with her and kicked her out. She called me a selfish a__hole on her way out.

Normally, I would expect her to call by now with apologies

but she hasn’t done so and I’m starting to wonder was I the a__hole or was she?

Perhaps I was too harsh and should’ve been more careful with discussing it.

There’s a quiet heartbreak in realizing that becoming a parent can sometimes mean losing friends, even those who once felt like anchors in your life.

Many new parents know this: what used to be casual chats and spontaneous nights out becomes hard calls and rearranged plans. When life gets flipped upside down by a baby, relationships shift, too.

In this situation, the mother isn’t only frustrated, she feels unseen and rejected. She misses the closeness she once shared with her best friend, and she perceives her friend’s repeated absence as a sign of neglect. From her side, it’s painful: she’s making herself always available, but the friend prioritizes nights out.

On the other hand, the friend avoids home visits because of discomfort with being around a toddler and the constraints that come with it (e.g., watching her language, worrying about disturbing the child).

So the conflict isn’t simply “bad friendship,” but two people whose lives and comfort zones have diverged, each valid in her own way.

Psychological research confirms how common and painful this can be. As described by psychologists writing for Verywell Mind and Psychology Today, friendships often change drastically after major life transitions such as parenthood.

In fact, as parenting responsibilities and daily routines shift, social needs and capacities tend to change too; friendships that were easy before can suddenly feel like a mismatch.

From that expert insight, the mother’s feelings of hurt and longing are completely understandable. She’s experiencing a kind of social grief: the loss of a familiar friendship dynamic.

The friend’s discomfort or reluctance to come over may stem not from indifference but from a genuine mismatch of lifestyle and comfort, a dynamic many parents and child‑free friends find themselves in.

That said, the way the mother expressed her feelings through shouting and accusations might have done more harm than good. While strong emotions are valid, communication in emotionally charged situations is tricky.

Given what we know about how friendships evolve, a calmer, more open conversation might have led to a more empathetic reconnection or clarified to both what each still wants (or doesn’t want) from the friendship.

In the end, this story shows how parenthood can redefine relationships in complicated ways.

When a friendship feels strained after big life changes, it may help to pause and reflect on what both people need now: time, space, or different kinds of connection, rather than assuming the other person doesn’t care.

With empathy, honesty, and realistic expectations, old friendships sometimes find a new shape even if they’re not quite what they once were.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These commenters agreed the friend isn’t required to cater to a parent’s schedule and can have her own social life

FunkyOrangePenguin − YTA. You’re always expecting her to accommodate you because you have a child.

She’s been coming over to your house for over a year because she understands your life has changed.

You’re putting in very little effort and assuming that it’s on her to maintain the friendship

and compromise - why? Because you’re a mom?

She didn’t ditch you - you’ve been a s__tty friend for a while and she’s probably done with you.

ashes_9914 − YTA she didn't ditch you on Saturday.

She invited you to come with her and her other friends,

meaning she had already committed to going out with other people.

If she had come to yours for drinks, she would've been ditching her other friends.

GullibleNerd88 − YTA. When you have a child, they are the most important person to you.

BUT, that doesn’t mean that they are the most important person to everyone else.

Your a SAHM, that’s your choice, and it sounds like Mia has tried really hard to be accommodating,

but for Christ sakes, it’s been two years of her doing things your way.

She didn’t ghost you or be rude, she suggested having your husband, the FATHER,

watch your child so you can hang out and you yell at her an accuse her of meddling in your marriage?

Girl, there’s a lot of issues in your marriage in that statement alone that your not posting on here.

Don’t blame her for finally having enough and calling you an a__hole cause you are acting like one.

Don’t expect her to apologize cause you don’t deserve one. You want to keep this friendship,

you talk to a therapist cause you’ve got some issues,

and when you are mature enough to have an adult conversation, call Mia and apologize.

thebabes2 − YTA. She’s trying to stay engaged in your life, but you only want it 100% on your terms.

She’s not wrong for wanting to go out and have adult evenings out.

Hire a sitter or ask your husband to take over for the night and join her. You were rude and out of line with her.

Sfb208 − Yta. It's clear you aren't putting any effort into your friendship with Mia.

You complain she is neglecting you, but what effort have you made to accommodate her?

None. You expect her to come to your house, and will only see her if she comes to your house.

You expect her to be the first to reach out to apologise after a conflict.

You see her has interfering when she makes a completely normal suggestion

that your co-parent take a shift alone with your kid so you can spend one evening being an adult without kid in tow.

Heck, you won't even tow the kid to a cafe.

[Reddit User] − Yes YTA! Your friend is not obligated to be around kids just because you had a child.

It's not like she ignored you. She invited you out multiple times.

Your entitlement that she should always hang out at your house around your kid is wrong.

Also, yes, she can go out and drink like she's in her 20s again.

Maybe you should try that sometime too, instead of insisting to drink around a small child

which majority of the people are not comfortable with.

Edit: Thank you everyone for so many upvotes!

[Reddit User] − YTA. How is she ditching you at all? She's invited you out several times and you refused.

You choosing to have a kid doesn't mean others need to cater to you.

This group emphasized that the OP’s partner could watch the child so she can socialize independently

KronkLaSworda − YTA Tom is possibly also TAH Your friend is not.

"She said she’s always been accommodating but it’s been 2 years and she doesn’t want to spend time with me

when there’s always a kid" Yep. Nothing wrong with that.

You're a 2 year broken record of sitting at home with a cup of tea. She's done with that.

She wants to go to a cafe or dinner with you. She's been asking you nonstop for a year at this point, right?

"And she said that Tom (my partner) could take care of Ciara once in a while so I could have a time off.

This felt really intrusive and I told her to mind her own business and not meddle on my marriage.

I was really angry with her and kicked her out. " Boom.

She barely scratched the surface of the REAL problem and you exploded.

INFO: Does Tom watch the child while you go out of the home to do your shopping or your haircut

or other trips from the home?

MundaneRelation2142 − INFO: why can’t Tom take care of Ciara once in a while so you can have time off?

dazedkatwoman − YTA. I say this as a mom.

It's perfectly okay to leave your child with your partner to go hang out with friends occasionally.

You don't have to make martyred motherhood your entire personality.

It's pretty selfish to think she should always have to accommodate you

and your inability to have a life outside of being a mom.

The reality is you had a baby and now think your friends should cater to you without you making any effort.

Friendships don't work that way.

TeaLoverGal − YTA, Also the "Not to meddle in your marriage" what are you on?

He's a parent who can, ya know parent. It is not healthy to never socialise without your child,

it's good for both of you.

Parenthood changes everything, even friendships. The Reddit poster’s confrontation highlights the tension between needing social support and respecting friends’ autonomy. While the mom’s feelings of loneliness are real, expecting constant home visits and reacting with anger risks pushing away those who matter most.

Could a compromise with occasional outings, shared childcare, and honest conversation have preserved this friendship? Do you think she overreacted, or was her frustration justified? Share your hot takes below and weigh in on this parenting-meets-friendship drama!

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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