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Teen Feels Abandoned By Dad After His New Girlfriend Destroys Family Traditions

by Layla Bui
April 11, 2026
in Social Issues

Losing a parent is one of the hardest things anyone can experience, and for this young person, the death of their mother and their dad’s subsequent depression left them feeling abandoned.

When their father started seeing someone new, things began to feel even more complicated. What was supposed to be a joyous occasion became a painful reminder of how much had changed since their mother passed away.

The real issue came when the new girlfriend not only disrupted long-held traditions but also seemed to have little interest in building a relationship with the OP. As tensions rose, the girlfriend made hurtful comments that cut even deeper. Despite their best efforts to bond, OP was left feeling neglected and unheard.

Should they stay and continue to fight for their relationship with their father, or is it time to walk away and find comfort elsewhere? Read on to see how the internet weighed in on this delicate family dilemma.

A girl struggles with her dad’s new girlfriend, who disrespects her and undermines their relationship, leaving her feeling isolated and ignored

Teen Feels Abandoned By Dad After His New Girlfriend Destroys Family Traditions
not the actual photo

'My dad's (43) girlfriend is trying to get rid of me (15 f).'

My mom passed away 5 years ago and I think of her every day.

My dad went through a really bad depression and I had to take care of myself basically.

During the Christmas holidays my dad told me that he had been seeing someone for a while.

I noticed that he was happier and I guess I was happy for him.

I didn't want him to be lonely forever but I did feel like my mom was being erased completely.

He never wanted to talk about her and he got rid of all pictures with her in them.

He said that his gf will be spending Christmas with us and then moving in. I wasn't happy at all. I don't even know her but I didn't say anything.

I met her on Christmas and usually my dad and I put the star on the tree that day. We would put the star on the tree and watch the...

It's our tradition and we kept it even when we were grieving my mom.

It's the only tradition from when she was with us that we actually kept.

When his girlfriend came over he put the star on with her while I was in the bathroom. Also we didn't watch the grinch because she hates it.

I know I sound spoiled and childish but I was so angry. We've been doing this my whole life and she just came in and destroyed it.

The whole night she didn't even bother getting to know me at all. She was all over my dad and pretty much ignored me.

I told my dad about how upset I was about our tradition and he said I should grow up and that things change.

I didn't like her because she gave me a bad feeling so I never got close to her.

She complained to my dad about it and he got mad at me for not making her feel welcomed.

I felt bad because she makes my dad really happy so I tried being more friendly with her.

In front of my dad she was nice to me but when we were alone she ignored me or spoke to me with attitude.

She even told me that I was a brat and I make my dad's life harder.

I told him but he didn't believe me and yelled at me for trying to sabotage his relationship.

He said that I wanted him to die alone and be sad and that I was selfish. I was so shocked because none of it is true.

My dad basically treated me like I wasn't there at all after that. I felt like I did when my mom died, all alone.

I stayed up really late one night because I just couldn't sleep and wanted to sneak in a midnight snack.

The gf was in the kitchen on facetime so I decided to be nosey and listen. She was talking about my dad and how much she loves him.

Then she said that he had "this dumb daughter" and she wondered if it was too late for adoption. Her and her friend laughed at that.

She said that I was a little b*tch and she hated me.

Her friend then said something about boarding school or military school but I left so I didn't hear the rest.

I was so exhausted from all the crying I did so I actually slept.

I didn't tell my dad and I don't even know if I should since he probably won't believe me.

I really miss my mom. I kinda want to go live with my grandparents (mom's parents) now but I don't want my dad to think that I'm leaving him.

What do I do? Can I even do anything? How do I get my dad to listen to me? Would I be wrong for leaving?

UPDATE: Hi! Since my last post I spoke to my grandparents and told them everything.

I asked if I could stay with them if I wanted to and they agreed. I then spoke to my dad again and tried to tell him how I felt...

I didn't want to film or record because I knew that he would be mad at that and wouldn't listen.

He didn't believe me again and thought that I was jealous of having to share him with someone else.

I got upset and told him that I was leaving so he could live happily ever after without the burden of having me around.

He looked shocked but didn't say anything.

I had already packed my bags and had brought some things to my grandparents house already. My dad didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.

My grandfather picked me up and I've been there since. I haven't gone home and I haven't heard from my dad.

My grandparents told me that they would handle my dad and that I shouldn't have to be the one doing it.

I'm upset that my dad hasn't called or texted me once to see if I'm ok.

At the same time I'm feeling so much better being with my grandparents.

My grandmother is probably the sweetest person ever and my grandfather is a little rough around the edges but he's really a softie.

Losing someone you love doesn’t end your connection to them. It doesn’t suddenly stop pain, memories, or the desire to keep them close in the ways that matter most. When OP lost her mom, she didn’t just lose a parent, she lost a source of security, tradition, and emotional identity.

Watching her dad seemingly erase every memory of her mom, replace cherished rituals, and embrace a new partner who dismisses her feelings stirred deep grief, hurt, and disorientation. OP isn’t reacting out of immaturity; she’s experiencing the collision of ongoing grief and unmet emotional support while her father rushes into a new life chapter that feels invalidating.

Psychologically, losing a parent is not a finite event that ends with a funeral; it transforms into an ongoing emotional bond.

Contemporary grief theory called continuing bonds suggests that maintaining an internal relationship with someone who has died, holding onto memories, traditions, and emotional identity linked to them, is a common and natural part of grieving rather than a pathology or “failure to move on.” Grief doesn’t disappear; it evolves and is integrated into one’s sense of self over time.

At the same time, the role of the surviving parent in acknowledging and honoring that ongoing bond is crucial. Experts on blended families and changing family structures explain that introducing a new partner, particularly after a profound loss, requires sensitivity and careful pacing.

Children or adult children who are grieving are more likely to feel threatened, jealous, or hurt if they perceive that their emotional needs and memories aren’t being respected. When new partners unintentionally take over rituals or diminish past emotional ties, it can feel like an erasure of what once was deeply meaningful.

This helps clarify why OP felt such intense pain when her dad’s girlfriend stepped into long‑held family traditions without acknowledgement. It wasn’t just about the star on the tree, it was about losing a connection to her mother, a tradition that anchored her in love, memory, and identity.

Compounding this was the emotional neglect she experienced in her father’s response when she tried to express her hurt. Dismissing her feelings, minimizing her loss, and defending the girlfriend instead of validating OP made her grief feel invisible.

Some key insights from grief psychology suggest that feeling connected to a deceased loved one, through memories, traditions, or emotional roles, is entirely normal and can help people adapt. It doesn’t mean one is stuck in grief forever, but that love and loss coexist in healthy ways.

That said, OP’s feelings of wanting space, safety, and emotional support are understandable. Leaving to stay with her grandparents isn’t inherently wrong; it can be a healthy boundary if her emotional needs aren’t being met or if her father continues to invalidate her experiences.

Healthy relationships don’t have to collapse when one person grieves deeply, but they do require empathy, listening, and mutual respect. If dad truly cares, acknowledging OP’s pain, honoring her memories of her mom, and setting respectful limits around his new partner can help rebuild trust.

OP does deserve to be heard, valued, and loved, not put in a position where she feels erased or dismissed. Grief doesn’t mean you stop living; it means your loved one continues to be part of your world while also making room for connection, growth, and genuine emotional support.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

This group emphasizes that the father’s behavior is selfish and that he is prioritizing his relationship over his daughter’s well-being, which is deeply unfair

crunchyp34nut − I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately your dad has blinders on right now

and anything you say with either fall on deaf ears or his girlfriend will spin it so she’s the victim.

Your dad is making all the wrong moves with introducing a new girlfriend to you aside of picking a bad girlfriend in the first place.

This relationship will have to take its course for a while.

Don’t feel bad about reaching out to your grandparents and seeing if you can live with them.

Your dad is making selfish choices recently and you’re the only one you can rely on to look out for you right now. Let his girlfriend have him.

She’ll show her true colors soon enough once they live together day to day. Once she doesn’t have you to be ugly to she’ll take it out on him.

MajorNut − You should live with your grandparents.

Sadly in part because of his grief has latched on to someone and in doing this has forgotten his responsibilities to you.

So yes he has picked her over you. Few things you can do is record how she behaves around you just to show him.

That you aren't out to break them up.

I would talk to your grandparents and find out if they are willing to take you. Then bring this up to your dad.

You sadly maybe stuck there for a few years more. I do suggest to avoid her. The less contact the better.

Do not compete with her for your dads affections. You will lose sadly.

Don't try to stick it to her in anyway. She can make you life worse and in the end your dad favor her.

You are in a bad spot and one a feel really bad about. Your father even in his grief and loneliness should have put you first until you were 18...

jpkmad − Imagine throwing away your lifelong relationship with your daughter over some woman you've known for a couple of months.

Your dad is selfish. Even if he feels lonely you should be his number one prio, and dating him means getting along with you.

These commenters advise the daughter to prioritize her mental health and well-being, suggesting she move in with her grandparents for support

[Reddit User] − Go to your grandparents, You can't leave someone who has already left. and emotionally that is what he's done.

Once you are safely away at your grandparents, if he complains, wants an explanation, or anything at all, just send him a link to this post

Its hard to argue with the written word If he tells you its untrue or tries to argue your accounting, tell him you won't talk to him

if he's just going to undermine your feelings or insinuate that you're a liar,

and that you will not be accused of trying to ruin his happiness, that that was an extremely cruel thing for him to say.

And you do not deserve his cruelty.

So go be happy Dad, no ones trying to stop you Then focus on you kiddo, get settled with the grandparents, reminisce about your mom,

take the time you need to heal, ask your grandparents if you can have counselling, you might not feel you need it,

but sometimes its just nice to talk to someone who understands but isn't emotionally biased one way or the other,

and it can help you work through your own feelings and give you tools to deal with things like conflict and guilt.

Give your dad time to chew over what you told him, I wish I could tell you everything will work out fine but theres no guarantees in life.

All the more reason you must Must take care of yourself and do whats in your best interests,

and staying with Dad is not likely in your best interests, He's putting his relationship ahead of you, So you need to put yourself ahead of His choices.

So sorry kiddo you've had a hard go of it, be gentle with yourself, None of what is happening is on you,

Regardless of what your Dad, or his sneaky ass girlfriend want to imply.

Kaleill − I am sorry you are going trough this. But please remember it is not your responsibility to remind

your dad of his duties as a dad to you as his daughter.

And it is not your responsibility to bend of and beyond to make your relationship work. Your father is the grown up and is responsible to act like one.

I am sorry for your loss and I am sorry that it made you grow up way faster than you would have deserved.

Your father is grieving and I admire you for wanting him to be happy and trying to make things work in a way

that you put his happiness in such a high place! But you deserve happiness as much as he does.

And you are not doing something wrong in trying to achieve that. Especially still trying to make your dad happy.

(Most grown ups would not be rational as you are trying to be). If you think living with your grand parents might be a (temporary) solution,

try talking about it with your grand parents.

If they are open to it, speak to your dad about it. Be prepared to tell him how you feel. Maybe prepare something in writing.

If you cannot Muster the strength to directly tell him then,

there is no shame in just letting him read what you have prepared instead. And now probably the most important part.

Do not make this an ultimatum, you or her. Tell him that you want to live at your grand parents for now.

That you are happy for him to be happy but that you currently are unable to partake in the current environment and feel very unhappy.

Make sure that this does not mean that this necessarily will be the forever arrangement but that it is the arrangement that you currently need.

You are still a minor so he as your father has a say in your living situation,

so be prepared to make it absolutely clear that this is what you need, but It is not meant as an ultimatum!

InkyPaws − Oh sweetie. I've been in a similar situation, which escalated.

My dads girlfriend (he left my mum for her) had huge issues with me and my brother.

She'd act nice to us, but I'd find notes in the room I used about how we were a problem etcetc.

I didn't say a word to anyone. I got older. And troubled.

In part because of my dad being a deadbeat. He'd show up randomly, I'd act up for weeks after and drive my mum insane.

She sent me off to my aunts every few weekends for a break. Fast forward. More stuff.

Dad thinks he's entitled with urging from the gf, probably to have a say in my life. Escalates rapidly.

I somehow end up in my dads one bedroom flat. His girlfriend suddenly realises she doesn't get my dads sole attention anymore.

I'm a teenager, navigating my first relationship, growing up, s__, and now this whole mess with my family.

There is, in short, a discussion orchestrated by his gf between my dad, her, and my boyfriends parents. Lots of things are threatened.

I smash a window. Mum is summoned to retrieve me. That was the day I had a mental breakdown. At 15 years old.

Because my fathers girlfriend was a conniving witch.

(On being told she had had stomach cancer a few years ago, the correct response was not, apparently 'Shame it didn't k__l her.')

My dad eventually left her when she admitted to setting out to separate him from my mum and wanting him for herself.

That was 18 years ago. My relationship with my dad is now ok. My mental health, however, is not. ​ Call your grandparents.

Tell them that it's not just you not liking her, she does not want you around and you've overheard her say as much.

That your dad has removed everything of mom from the house.

That you tried to talk to him, but he's so into her, he won't listen to you. ​ My dad wrote to me on my 18th.

He put love makes you do stupid things. Yeah. Well. It should never come above the love of your kids and wanting to protect them.

This group acknowledges the emotional toll the situation is having on the daughter, encouraging her to record interactions with the girlfriend for proof

nattiey2002 − My heart is broken for you- and it kind of feels like she wins if you go stay with your grandparents-

but on the other hand she might ratchet up her abusive behavior and your dad has established that he won’t say anything.

Record if you can all your alone interactions with the girlfriend. Go stay with your grandparents. Discuss with them how you feel.

Play THEM not your dad the recordings. Let them handle it.

cloudgirl150 − Live with your grandparents. Your dad chose someone he's known for less than a year over his own child. That's messed up.

Also, I would record the next time his girlfriend talks s__t about you. Then bring it to him for proof of how much of a b__ch she is.

frijolejoe − Go to your grandparents now.

Your dad’s feelings are not your responsibility and once he decided a mate was more important than his child he lost his vote.

Now read that last sentence again. Love, someone who went to live with grandma at 12 yo for identical reasons.

Guess who turned out to be insane and showed her true colours about 7 years later by running off with a friend

and leaving my dad all alone with her son, subsequently moving across the country to pursue her own selfish lifestyle?

Women like that aren’t ‘real’, she sounds vapid and selfish just like my stepwitch and it’s likely this won’t last anyway.

Get out and build a life for yourself sweetheart and let the chips fall where they may. Your mom’s parents will likely treat you like gold.

It won’t be easy but it’s much better living with this abuse. Yes, it’s abuse.

These commenters warn that the girlfriend is manipulating the father and that the daughter should protect herself by removing herself from the situation and seeking support from her extended family

AnxiousAndAntisocial − you're definitely not wrong for leaving.

And I would, given your situation, your dad's head is clearly clouded right now with a toxic woman....

spicybEtch212 − She’s smart, she caught your dad in a time of distress and he’s gotten comfy with it.

I know you’re only 15 but If you can, I’d set up a nanny cam or have your phone on you every time

your around her and record the things she says so you have proof what an evil c word this lady is.

The thing is, you’re her competition and she’s already started alienating with the whole x mas tradition thing; understandably,

I’d be pretty upset myself. I’d just keep the voice recorder on around her, most phones have it

and the iPhone makes it especially easy bc she wot even know it’s on. It’s saved my b__t a few times.

Hopefully, that would clear the cloud of your dads judgment and if it doesn’t then

(albeit a little extreme, you can emancipate yourself) or work like hell, save your $ and wait it out until you’re 18 and move out

robotsenator_1357 − 1. Talk to your grandparents about if they would be ok with you living with them for a while.

(tell them everything you told us) 2. You should tell your dad what she said on FaceTime with her friend,

then tell him you can’t deal with the way she makes you feel anymore and that you have plans to move in with your grandparents

3. Pack up your stuff and leave.

Make sure your dad knows you are doing this because you don’t want him to “die alone” so you’re removing yourself from the situation.

You hope he will be happy with his girlfriend.

4. Wait for him to realize he’s a f__king i__ot for choosing his girl over his child. If he never does, you’re better off.

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. I went through something similar with my mom and her boyfriend, 6 years later

and I still haven’t forgiven her because she doesn’t even realize what she did was wrong.

Please do what is best for your mental health long term, and not what you think you are obligated to do.

quickreader01 − As a woman who grew up with a father that changed out women and marriages

after my mom passed from cancer, lean on your extended family. If you can go stay with them, do so.

I wish I had the guts to do this when I was your age and instead I kept quiet and I suffered.

It would have saved me years of depression and anxiety. I had women tell me straight up that their child would always

come first/be believed over me or tell me that I would be going to boarding school because they didn't want me around.

As a result, my father and I are estranged and have been for more than a decade.

He sees my childhood one way, I see it completely different.

I heavily RESENT his selfish choices that affected me then and STILL do to this day as a nearly 50 year old adult.

There are women out there who view children as competition for affection. They are literally low self esteem, bottom feeding POS humans.

At this point you have to accept that your father has chosen to go in this direction and you are old enough to start protecting yourself.

If he is already spewing vile rhetoric (and, yes, this is what I would consider vile to tell your child)

that you wanted him to die alone and unhappy then he's weak man who has told himself this way before even actually uttering it directly to you.

I guarantee he practiced it.

It's how he justifies the absolute shittiness that is currently happening in his mind that he deserves to be happy and you are an impediment.

Like I mentioned earlier, lean on extended family. Get a job, open a bank account to save your money and more importantly, protect YOUR spirit.

Your father is an adult who has to accept the consequences of his choices

and if he chooses a woman who doesn't want his kid around, then so be it.

Sometimes people have to lose who is closest to them to appreciate that person. Your dad needs therapy BADLY. Good Luck!!

These commenters emphasize that parents need to prioritize their children’s feelings

nightrager12345 − This breaks my heart honestly. I would suggest talking to your grandparents, or other family members about it.

I know it’s hard but your dad doesn’t even listen to you. He’s ignoring your feelings and this woman is mean.

You have a great support system here on Reddit but you really need to see a therapist or something.

I’ll pray for you to get into a better situation. It’s hard losing someone you love, like your mom.

I’m sorry you feel lonely too, I hope you are able to connect with someone soon. Xoxo wish you the bestest

Shallowground01 − Your dad has handled this totally wrong.

I’m coming in as a step mum myself here; let me tell you how we introduced me to my step kids.

First, we waited a full year because that was when I felt comfortable and when he thought the children would be ready.

Then, he introduced me as the person he was living with (he was taking them to his parents before this)

and told them all about the things I liked that they did and all the fun stuff I was excited to do with them.

I bought a whole bunch of activities and when we met his daughter basically decided we were ‘BFFs’ and that is how she considered me:

her BFF who lived with Dad.

Then a few months in she said something about if her dad got a gf and I told her that I was his gf and she was super excited and...

because in her mind her adult BFF was dating her dad and would be around forever.

We never put pressure on it, we never made big labels and we never pushed them out of any comfort zone they had.

This isn’t what works for everyone but the fact is, your dad put his feelings and now this woman’s over your own.

Parents, especially in this situation, need to be focused on the kids feelings first and foremost.

You’re the child, NOT him. He put you in a horrible position making you meet her on Christmas and then doing things with her

he knows are important to you. He is guilting you when she is cruel, being manipulative, again, YOURE the kid, not him. Please remember this.

I know losing your Mum young has made you have to grow up much quicker but please allow yourself to be a kid

and stop worrying about looking after your dad and his happiness.

He’s already doing that enough. Go to your grandparents and let yourself be taken care of for a while.

You’re not leaving him, he has her and you need to put yourself first and be looked after.

I’m sorry this is happening to you, and I really hate step parents like this. Please please put yourself first and speak to your grandparents;

you’ve already tried talking to your dad and he’s shown he’s not capable of listening right now.

Go be a kid and do kid things, this manipulative mess is not something you need to be part of. Good luck love xx

Should she stay and continue trying to make things work with her dad, or is it time for her to leave and find stability with her grandparents? What advice would you give to someone in her situation? Share your thoughts below.

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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