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Teen Refuses To Change His Name After Parents Admit They Regret Choosing It And Push For A Do-Over

by Leona Pham
December 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Names are deeply personal, often tied to identity, confidence, and how we see ourselves in the world. For most people, their name is simply a fact of life, something they grow into without much thought. But when the people who chose that name start questioning it years later, things can get complicated very quickly.

In this story, a teenager finds himself caught between his own sense of identity and his parents’ growing discomfort with a choice they once stood proudly behind. What started as casual comments slowly turned into repeated suggestions and unexpected pressure.

Now, he is being asked to make a life-changing decision for reasons that do not sit right with him. As emotions clash and family dynamics shift, he turns to the internet to ask whether standing his ground makes him selfish.

A teenager pushes back after his parents try to legally change the name they once cherished

Teen Refuses To Change His Name After Parents Admit They Regret Choosing It And Push For A Do-Over
Not the actual photo

AITA for telling my parents I'm not changing my name because of their name regret?

I'm (16m) my parents youngest kid and the only kid the name

based on what they liked vs what the family wanted them to name us.

My siblings were all named after family members like both my dad's and mom's families prefer.

By the time they got around to having me they were live f__k this s__t

and told their family they were choosing a name based on what they liked and not based on family.

So they named me Sunny. Yeah, the "girl version" of Sonny.

I don't care. I don't think Sunny is girly because it has a u vs an o. But anyway.

My parents started to regret my name when I was maybe 10? I don't remember exactly

when but I can remember being about 10 and my parents started sometimes calling me by my middle name

and only stopping when I told them it was weird and I liked my first name.

When I was 13 they asked me if I ever went by a nickname and I said no.

Last year they said some kids change their names before graduating high school

because they want something more grown up

and they want to save the added expense of changing the name on their degree.

I was like oh, I guess if people want that it makes sense.

Then I said it must suck to hate your name.

Six months ago my parents said I look like a James nicknamed Jamie.

I asked them why they thought that and they said I just had that look.

They asked what I thought of the name and I said I like Jamie but prefer Sunny.

Then they asked if I liked the name Luke and I said no.

In June they asked me if I would consider letting them change my name to something different.

They said they feel like they named me as a big f__k you to their families

but felt bad that I had such an unserious name for a man.

I told them I didn't want to change my name

and I always loved the way they talked about finding my name.

They said their feelings had changed and they felt like the name being cute

and light and full of hope wasn't great for going into my adult years.

They said they deeply regretted it.

I told them I was glad they made the choice they did and they shouldn't stress it.

But last week they got the paperwork for a legal name change

and presented me with like three name choices and asked me to pick.

They said they really didn't want to live with the guilt.

I told them I'm not changing my name because of their name regret.

I told them how I feel about my name is more important now.

They told me I should at least think of their feelings

and that I should consider the future and whether I'll be taken seriously.. AITA?

There’s a moment many people recognize when something deeply personal is suddenly treated as a mistake by those who gave it to you. A name, after all, is often the first gift a person receives, and when that gift is questioned, it can feel like one’s identity is being quietly put on trial.

In this story, the teenager isn’t simply refusing a legal name change. He’s protecting a sense of self that has grown alongside the name “Sunny.” His parents’ regret didn’t appear overnight; it crept in slowly through hints, suggestions, and reframing his name as a liability rather than a choice.

Emotionally, this puts him in a difficult position: he’s being asked to carry his parents’ unresolved guilt about defying family expectations years ago. While they frame their concern as worry for his future, what he experiences is pressure to fix their discomfort, at the cost of something he genuinely loves about himself.

A fresh way to look at his response is through the lens of generational anxiety. His parents once embraced the idea of a hopeful, unconventional name as an act of independence.

Now, facing adulthood and societal judgment themselves, they project their fear onto him. Interestingly, this tension often shows up more strongly with sons than daughters, where masculinity is policed through ideas of “seriousness” and respectability. To them, “Sunny” feels light; to him, it feels grounded. His refusal isn’t rebellion; it’s autonomy forming right on schedule.

Psychologists have long argued that identity is shaped through reflection and feedback from others, particularly during adolescence, when self-concept is still forming. This process is captured in the theory of the looking-glass self, which highlights how external judgments influence personal identity.

As Julie Jones explains, “digital media can serve as a mediated mirror and social media sites provide the space where others’ judgments are clearly posted”.

In Sunny’s case, his parents’ repeated attempts to change his name function as a similar mirror, communicating that their regret and concerns about how he will be perceived as an adult matter more than his own comfort and lived sense of identity, placing his developing confidence and self-trust at risk.

Seen through that expert insight, the teenager’s stance becomes not only reasonable but psychologically healthy.

He has clarity about who he is and resists reshaping himself to manage his parents’ anxiety about adulthood, masculinity, or social judgment. His parents’ desire to “fix” the name doesn’t address a real problem; it attempts to rewrite a past decision by altering a present person.

A grounded path forward in situations like this is recognizing ownership. Parents name a child, but the name eventually belongs to the person living inside it. When a young person expresses confidence in their identity, the most supportive response is trust, not correction.

Growing up doesn’t require becoming heavier, duller, or less hopeful. Sometimes maturity looks exactly like standing still and saying, “This is who I am, and I’m comfortable here.”

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

These Redditors backed the teen, saying identity choices belong to the person

naisfurious − What the hell, NTA. Six months ago my parents said I look like a James nicknamed Jamie.

So, are they planning to push you to change your name everytime you change your hair style or wardrobe?

Sonny or Sunny, regardless how you spell it is a perfectly normal name for a male.

An identity is intertwined with a name and it's hard to separate the two.

You, and you alone, are the person that should decide if you want to change your name.

MissionHoneydew2209 − NTA - your parents sound EXHAUSTING.

Anxious-Nobody-4966 − NTA. it sounds like your parents are more concerned

about their feelings regarding your name than your feelings.

that name is yours, you're your own person,

and if you don't want to change your name because you like it, then don't.

those are their feelings to live with, and putting them on you as a child is unfair and weird.

i also have a weather name and i still love it, and i'm almost thirty.more power to you!

Shephrah − Smh. I know a dude named Sunny - he's a bright personality,

will always have a joke to cheer you up and an all around good guy.

If YOU like your name, embrace it wholeheartedly NTA

This group cheered the name itself, calling “Sunny” hopeful, strong, and adult

paintedkayak − I mean, this is just sad: "being cute and light and full

of hope wasn't great for going into my adult years."

OP, please go forth into your adult years being cute and light and full of hope.

[Reddit User] − they felt like the name being (. ..)

full of hope was not great for going into my adult years

That. .. That says a LOT. The important thing is how you feel.

Honestly, interesting names are great to come across as an adult. NTA

PM_ME_SEXY_SANDWICH − There is absolutely nothing embarrassing or un-adult about Sunny.

I literally had to tell someone today to assign a task to a guy whose last name is McWeeny.

I had to say that out loud. THAT'S embarrassing.

They warned parents can’t fix regret by overriding a child’s autonomy

celticmusebooks − Last year they said some kids change their names before graduating high school

because they want something more grown up and they want

to save the added expense of changing the name on their degree.

LOL this is 100% not a "thing". Honestly your parents sound a bit unhinged.

Sadly at 16 they can legally change your name

without consent in the US (at least in the majority of states).

The upside is that you will be able to legally change it back when you turn 18.

Make it clear to your parents that if they were to do

that there would be serious long term consequences for your relationship

and that you will NEVER answer to or acknowledge that name under any circumstances

and will have your name changed back the day you turn 18.

NTA but your parents appear to be struggling with some major mental health issues.

Maybe talk to one of the counsellors at your school about what's going on at home.

eowynsheiress − NTA. Their mistakes are not yours to clean up.

You like your name. Conversation over.

Good work advocating for yourself!

fiestafan73 − Be sure they know you won’t be answering to any other name,

and if they force a change on you, you will simply change it back when you turn 18,

so they would just be wasting their money. NTA.

These commenters pointed to famous men with similar names as proof it’s valid

Such-Marionberry-615 − I knew a guy named Summer and he was great! I really liked him.

He joked that he had a girl’s name, but, frankly, I’d never heard of anyone named Summer before,

so to me it was neutral. He wore the name well. He had hippy parents.So it goes.:)

Sonny Bono: that’s precedent for your name, but yours is spelled better!

I’ve never heard of the name Sunny either, so, to me, it’s neutral, not a girl’s name.

Hmmm… well maybe I knew a Sunny in China.

But that’s all I can think of.

Think on this: Bambi is a boy’s name. He was a boy deer.

About names that sound like kids’ names, even as adults: Kevin, Brian.

What makes this story linger isn’t just the name; it’s the message behind it. A teen who feels confident in who he is is being asked to shrink that confidence to soothe adult regret. Should parents be allowed a do-over when their feelings change, or does identity belong solely to the person living it?

And if a name carries hope, is that really something to outgrow? Share your hot takes below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 2/2 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/2 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/2 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/2 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/2 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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