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Teen Sister Throws Birthday Fit Over Gifts – Brother Takes His $150 Present Back!

by Sunny Nguyen
October 16, 2025
in Social Issues

Birthdays are supposed to be fun, right? But sometimes, they turn into full-blown family drama. One Reddit user shared how he tried to cheer up his 14-year-old sister by spending $150 on a set of Copic markers – something she’d been wanting for months.

But instead of gratitude, he got attitude. His sister, who’s been having a rough year, ended up throwing a tantrum, snapping at everyone, and even tossing another gift across the room.

Frustrated and hurt, he decided to take back his gift to teach her a lesson. Now, with the family calling him the bad guy, he’s left wondering if he went too far or if his sister just needed a reality check.

Teen Sister Throws Birthday Fit Over Gifts - Brother Takes His $150 Present Back!
Not the actual photo

A Brother’s Gift Grab Sparks a Birthday Blowup!

AITA for taking back the birthday gift I gave my sister?

 

So, i’m 24M. My little sister is 14 and has always been interested in art.

I moved an hour and a half away when I was 18 and we. don’t see eachother often, but I make a point to call/text

It was her birthday yesterday and I thought I’d splurge since she’s been going through a rough time.

She’s changed schools twice due to bullying and our mom always tells me that she won’t talk to anyone, is having intense mood swings, etc.

I’ve made multiple attempts to help her, but she shuts me down and gets snippy.

Anyway, I got her a set of 150$ artist grade markers called Copics. I’m no art connoisseur, but apparently every artist

who’s anybody has them and our parents don’t wanna spend that kind of money for her hobby

(they’re about 5$ PER MARKER) and tend to give practical gifts like clothes.

Whenever we’ve texted recently it’s been her ranting about them not getting them for her.

even on her birthday she was like a bomb about to go off. She barely acknowledged me and only said hello when she was asked.

I was excited to give her the gift but the second I opened it she grabbed them and turned to our mom, saying “See!

Even he knows you should’ve got them for me!” Which I awkwardly brushed off.

Everytime she opened a gift from our parents it was very snotty like “Oh, yayyyy, cheap sneakers, my favorite.” “A plaid skirt. WOW. I’m blessed.”

I was prepared for an angsty teen, but I soon reached my limit.

Our dad showed her a journal they bought and she suddenly yelled

“I told you both exactly what I wanted but you spent the same amount of money on s__t I don’t need! F__k this!” she threw it against the wall and...

Our parents were a lot less well-off when I was her age, and they could barely afford a birthday for me.

Everytime it was a dodgy cake and a handful of clothes without holes in them,

I accepted them like I was the luckiest kid ever. I would’ve never swore and yelled but she’s been very spoiled.

I talked with them for awhile and apparently shes done worse before which shocks me.

They think even if they can afford it now, she should learn the value of a dollar.

I agree helped shape me to not have my every whim be attended to.

Besides, she got what she wanted in the end, why is she still mad in the first place?

Sister came back to get the markers, but I took them back. I said that she was ungrateful and I wouldn’t tolerate it.

She started screaming at me but I just left the “party” prematurely with the gift in tow.

My whole family is blowing up my phone because I “ruined her birthday”.

In my eyes, I spent 150$ to get no thank-you and yelled at. This will teach her a valuable lesson and maybe spark a change in her teen angst phase.

But my family doesn’t want to hear from me until I give it back.

Considering I’ve got my entire family shitting on me, I have to wonder if I did make the wrong choice. So, reddit, AITA?

Expert Opinion

This story feels like watching a birthday party crash in slow motion. The 24-year-old brother meant well – he just wanted to see his little sister smile again. But when she exploded with anger and disrespect, his patience ran out.

As user JDburn08 pointed out, her behavior ruined the mood for everyone, and his reaction, while emotional, came from a place of frustration. Still, what led her to lash out like that runs deeper than teenage moodiness.

According to the National Bullying Prevention Center (2024), nearly one-third of teens who experience bullying show signs of emotional instability, such as anger, isolation, or unpredictable mood swings.

The sister had switched schools multiple times after being bullied, and it seems her home became the only place where she could safely let her anger out.

Redditor oblomold noted that her outburst might have been less about the gifts and more about releasing pent-up emotions.

Even so, the brother’s choice to take back the markers wasn’t the best move. As user TwoManyHorn2 said, taking away a gift – especially one given with love – can break trust and make the teen feel more rejected.

Dr. John Townsend, a family therapist, explained it perfectly: “Teens need firm boundaries, but they also need understanding.

When you take away something meaningful without communication, they hear rejection, not love” (Psychology Today, 2025).

The real issue here may be the parents’ response. Redditor SammySoapsuds argued that by not stepping in, the parents allowed the teen to control the household’s emotional tone. Without guidance, her anger festers.

And as Winter83 suggested, it might be time for her to talk to a counselor.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (2024), about 20% of teens struggle with undiagnosed mood disorders – something that often goes unnoticed until it affects family life.

Lesson and Reflection

This whole situation is a reminder that family love can get tangled up with frustration, especially when someone is hurting.

The brother acted from a place of care but lost sight of compassion in the heat of the moment. Taking the gift back may have sent a message, but it didn’t solve the problem – it just deepened the divide.

What his sister probably needed wasn’t a punishment, but reassurance that she’s still loved even when she messes up.

If there’s a takeaway here, it’s that empathy works better than anger when it comes to family conflict. Instead of reacting in the moment, a calm talk could have opened the door to understanding.

The brother could have said, “I wanted you to have this because I care – but your words hurt me.” That small act of vulnerability might have been more powerful than any “lesson” he tried to teach.

For anyone dealing with a moody teen or emotional sibling, remember this: kindness and boundaries can coexist.

You can stand firm without being harsh. And when emotions run high, stepping back before reacting is sometimes the best gift you can give.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some sided with the brother, saying it’s about time someone taught the teen a lesson in gratitude. 

Isoldael − ESH. You were an a__hole, but a completely justified one in my eyes.

Sometimes, to make people grow, you need to be an a__hole. My whole family is blowing up my phone because I “ruined her birthday”.

I wonder why she's so terrible when they're so afraid to punish s__tty behavior, and instead feel like they should reward it.

oblomold − ESH - Sounds like she was being an absolute 'mare but she is a teenager who has moved school twice cause of bullying.

Her self esteem is gonna be through the floor and she's bound to a bundle of rage on top of all the teenage hormones.

I'd say cut her some slack and send her back the pens, maybe with a letter explaining how upset you were with

how she was treating your parents who have her best interest at heart.

She probably on some level knows she's been a d__che but family is a safe space for her to lash out

because her parents are unlikely to reject her the way her peer group has, repeatedly.

If you show her some compassion and discuss all the emotions involved calmly and generously

it might help her learn to find her way out of her rage and begin treating her family better.

The kid sounds like she needs help tbh

JDburn08 − ESH. In order of most to least sucky: your sister, your family and, in a distant last place, you.

I don’t think that you should have taken back the gift once it had been given.

Not only is it no longer your property, you also gave it with no strings attached. To suddenly add conditions after the fact is not great.

However, the severity of your sister’s assholishness excuses a lot of that, imo.

I find it interesting that your family clearly knows what your sister is like but suddenly the bad outcome is all on you.

To me, at least, gatherings and parties should be about everyone having a good time; being the guest of honour is not a license to abuse people and ruin the...

By that measure, your sister had already ruined the party long before you behaved in a less than ideal way.

Others argued he should have shown more compassion, given what she’s been through. 

TwoManyHorn2 − ESH and I'm amazed more people aren't picking up on it. Giving a gift and then taking it back is a breach of word.

OP clearly learned s__tty social behaviors from the parents just as the sister did. OP, now that you're out of there, learn to set a good example.

Your sister might really have responded to an honest heart-to-heart like:

"You know, the way you reacted to my gift was unpleasant, and I'm not going to give you gifts like that in the future until you learn to treat others...

Instead you showed her - that adults are unreliable and she's right to be angry with them all the time.

That's how she'll remember it. I would love it if other folks here would also suggest constructive ways to undo the damage of this unfortunate lesson.

(Edit: also, hopefully OP's sister is in therapy? 14-year-olds being bullied are statistically at high risk for suicide. )

Schattentochter − So, she is 14, has been bullied (or maybe still is? ), is probably already scarred by that and then you show up with the one thing she...

I get that you and appearently all people in the comment section perceive her as ungrateful.

But I can't help but wonder - if what she says is true (the part about having made wishes that would have cost the same amount of money),

this comes down to not being listened to. Kids don't randomly wake up one day and decide to go "Oh, yeah, I'll be a shithead now.

"I don't like spoilt brats either, noone does, but there's a great chance she's already facing a ton of obstacles in terms of acting normal.

Bullying changes people and to make those changes good ones, one needs to grow up and heal first. She's 14, she's not an adult.

Taking the gift back instead of taking her to the side and asking her what's upsetting her so much to make sure that

there's no valid reasons behind her anger is the typical behavior of adults who forgot what it's like to be young.

I'm not saying she's acting okay, I'm not saying she shouldn't be grateful

but I am appalled by the fact that neither you nor your parents seem to question why she's behaving the way she is.

I had a phase when I found it hard to apologize and the simple reason was that I (due to bullying) was so convinced that I was a bad person...

that I felt like an apology was me scamming people into forgiving me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to just claim something about your sister, I don't know...

But I really want to offer a kinder perspective to you here, because right now there's at least a chance YTA. And in any case:

Gifts are gifts, not payment. Don't treat them as such if you don't want her to be unable to do the same as an adult.

That's how people who attach strings to everything are made.

Edit: I want to thank /u/WastingTimeIGuess and the anonymous user for the gold and whoever were the two, three, four lovely people who gave me silver.

It's my first gold and my second silver ever, so I'm really happy, especially because I did expect backlash for this comment.

You guys (and all who responded) really made my day, so - thanks a bunch.

Many called out the parents for staying too passive, suggesting they step up and get her professional help. 

winter83 − Have your parents taken your sister to a doctor? Everyone is a s__tty teenager but there maybe more going on.

Ask your parents if there's any pattern to her outbursts. Before my period I get severe mood swings.

It started in my teens because thats when you start menstruating. I think it's worth talking to a doctor.

I never got any help till I was old even though my mom could see a clear pattern going on.

I'm not saying she has the same thing as me but there maybe more going on if she is this angry.

Most teenagers are sarcastic and s__tty but I don't think her throwing gifts against the wall is normal teenage behavior. Talk to your parents.

They can even talk to her school and see what her teachers have noticed. Edited to fix words YTA Changing my response because you are not your sister parents.

You are her brother and as much as you want to claim moral superiority punishing her is not your damn job.

Give the gift back and talk to your parents about getting your sister some help and stop being an a__hole.

SingleMaltLife − YTA. It was a gift. For her birthday. Something she really wanted. You gave it then took it away. That’s a really s__tty thing to do.

You aren’t her parent. You don’t get to discipline her. You are her brother.

Do you even see her? You were surprised at her behaviour, but it’s been going on for a while.

Sounds like you need to spend more time with your family. If your parents want to teach a spoiled teenager the value of money they need to do it themselves.

They let her get that spoilt. They let her behaviour slide so that she thought talking like that was acceptable.

They clearly over compensated with her if you didn’t have much as a kid.

Is your little sister a s__t head? Sure, she’s a bratty spoilt teenager. Did she spoil herself? No. Love your sister and give her damn present back.

ToastedMaple − Yta. Don't give s__t to use for leverage and teaching lessons. It's not your place to parent your sibling. She has a point.

If they kept asking her what she wanted and she told them, then they spent the same amount of money on knockoffs

and other nonsense s__t she didn't ask for instead of what she did, I'd be upset too.

Maybe your parents should have asked her for 1 thing she really wanted and thats what she got.

DefinitelyNotMagnus − Possibly an unpopular opinion but YTA - she’s 14, victim of bullying at two schools, I assume she has little to no friends due to moving schools frequently.

As well this she’s probably hormonal, yes she might be being an a__hole in the moment but I personally think it’s just her venting and letting out her anger.

You could’ve gone about this a completely different way, maybe try and sit down and talk to her or take her out

and explain why she’s being an a__hole to your family, from what I’ve read she could’ve done with some form of escape/ a decent relationship

SammySoapsuds − NTA. This may be a controversial opinion, but I am a children's therapist and in my experience kids like your sister actually don't enjoy

or feel good about the fact that everyone in their family walks on eggshells around them.

It's actually pretty terrifying to be able to set the entire mood of your household like that when you are still at an age

when your parents are expected to keep you safe and set rules that allow you to experience life in a way that feels manageable.

Right now, she's in control of everything because your parents will do anything to avoid setting her off,

and she's not learning how to cope with any of the things life is throwing at her (like mild disappointment).

I truly believe that your actions could be beneficial for her, but that the way you left things makes it easy

for her to discount any potential lessons by being able to label you the "bad guy" for taking her gift away.

If possible, I think you should circle back and explain why you took it (everything you said here is good imo).

She may not seem like she's hearing you when you're face to face, but I truly do think it would help her snap the f__k out of this.

Edit: I absolutely misread this situation. ..she needs someone to see her and take an interest in her, and I think that OP's gift is proof that he can be/already...

This could be something that strengthens their relationship, if OP goes back and talks to her about why he took the gift back.

This story of a brother, a birthday, and a blowup shows just how messy love can get. His intentions were good, he wanted to make his sister happy but emotions got in the way.

In the end, it’s not really about the markers; it’s about communication, patience, and learning when to guide instead of punish.

The lesson? A thoughtful gift can mean a lot, but understanding means even more. So, what do you think – was the brother right to take back his gift, or did he just make things worse?

 

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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