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Teen Stops Participating In Family Therapy After Mom Accuses Her Of Lying

by Layla Bui
December 28, 2025
in Social Issues

Blended families are often painted as fresh starts, but the reality can be far more complicated. Grief, boundaries, and expectations don’t disappear just because adults decide it’s time to move on, especially when everyone isn’t on the same page.

The original poster is a 16-year-old pulled into family therapy after tension with her mom and stepfather reaches a breaking point. A conflict tied to Father’s Day sparks accusations she insists are untrue, and the therapy sessions quickly become overwhelming. Eventually, she stops engaging altogether, which only makes things worse.

Scroll down to see what led to her decision and whether people think she’s in the wrong.

A teen in family therapy is branded a liar by her mother after rejecting a forced new dad

Teen Stops Participating In Family Therapy After Mom Accuses Her Of Lying
not the actual photo

AITA for wasting everyone's time in therapy because I was accused of lying?

My mom, her husband and I (16f) are in group therapy with each other.

We started therapy a few weeks after Father's Day,

because that was the final straw for them to insist we all needed therapy to work on why I won't let us be the family they want.

We started at the end of July and by the end of August my mom accused me of lying,

called me a liar and laid out this really big sob story about how much it hurt to have me lie to her

and do everything in my power to destroy her marriage.

It pissed me off so bad. I didn't lie at any point of this. I said as much in the follow-up session

and the therapist asked me to outline my side and how I felt about having mom call me a liar.

My mom kept trying to interrupt me, she told the therapist the shut up and she accused me of being a vicious liar then.

To give some explanation about the situation. My mom and her husband got married 3 years ago.

They moved in together 2 months before. Before moving in they sat me down and asked me

if I was okay with us moving in together and making a family of three again.

Mom brought up how we'd have a man around the house again (my dad died)

and how good it would be for her to have a husband and for me to have a dad

and he said he couldn't wait to be my dad and he always wanted to be a dad.

He said he already had plans for us for Father's Day. This was February of three years ago.

I told them I wasn't okay with that stuff. That I didn't want another dad, wouldn't let him be my dad,

and was not about to spend Father's Day celebrating someone who isn't dad.

They started laughing and proceeded as normal but Father's Day became a struggle

because I have not spent the day with him the last three years and he has tried, so has my mom.

I meant what I said. I never called him dad or let him fill the role in my life.

This year he snapped and he had a temper tantrum and said I was supposed to be with him on Father's Day

and not spending the day alone and he didn't sign up to be nothing to me.

My mom called me a liar because she said I promised to develop a close relationship with her husband

and that I said yes to wanting what they asked. She said I had said I would give him Father's Day

and I lied and I have not followed through on any of it.

She said I made them think I would be a willing participant and I wanted us to be a family.

It pisses me off because I never said what she claims and I even repeated what I had said back then.

The therapist couldn't get mom to apologize and she has no control over the sessions where my mom

and her husband dominate. So I'm totally silent and I zone out. They only realized this two weeks ago.

They called me on it and I spoke up again after more than a month of no talking in therapy,

to confirm I wasn't listening and it came up last week and I said I was done engaging

because I was owed an apology for being called a liar.

My mom and her husband are pissed that I'm wasting everyone's time letting therapy happen. AITA?

When someone speaks honestly about their pain and is met with disbelief instead of empathy, the hurt often cuts deeper than the original conflict itself. In this young woman’s situation, she entered family therapy with the hope that honest communication might help bridge the emotional gap between her and her mother.

Instead, she encountered the opposite; her account was dismissed, and she was labeled a liar in a space meant for healing and understanding. That experience struck at a fundamental human fear: being misunderstood and invalidated by the very people one depends on for emotional safety.

At the core of this story is not just a disagreement over Father’s Day plans, but a deeper emotional dynamic of identity, autonomy, and validation.

For many adolescents, the process of individuation, asserting their own preferences and emotional boundaries, is developmentally normal, even healthy. Yet when those boundaries are met with persistent pressure or reframed by caregivers as dishonesty, the emotional stakes escalate.

OP wasn’t merely defending a date on a calendar; she was asserting her personal emotional truth and grieving the loss of a father figure she never accepted into that role.

The pain of having that denied or reframed as a lie triggered defensiveness and withdrawal, common reactions when someone feels both unheard and unfairly judged.

From a psychological perspective, family therapy is most effective when all voices are genuinely heard and equally validated.

Research into family dynamics shows that when there are informant discrepancies, meaning mismatched perceptions between parents and children about the same events, adolescents are more likely to experience stress, sadness, and behavioral resistance. These discrepancies themselves are meaningful indicators of relational strain, not evidence of deceit.

In fact, studies on family systems therapy highlight that conflict resolution is less about proving whose memory is right and more about understanding the emotional meanings behind each person’s perspective.

Systemic approaches aim to restructure interactional patterns and clarify roles, shifting the focus from blame to mutual understanding.

This context helps explain why OP’s reaction was not simply “wasting time,” it was a manifestation of feeling invalidated and emotionally unsafe. When a young person stops engaging, especially in therapy, it’s often less about refusal and more about self-protection after repeated emotional invalidation.

Rather than judging her choice, this story encourages reflection on how families navigate hurt, perception, and psychological boundaries.

Constructive next steps might include therapy modalities that specifically address relational communication patterns, or individual support for OP to process grief and assert boundaries without fear of emotional punishment. The deeper work isn’t about who lied, but about rebuilding trust in how each person’s truth can be honored.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

These commenters agreed that the parents want control, not real therapy or self-work

chrestomancy − NTA I'm surprised the therapist is still taking the sessions.

They must need the money pretty badly. Your parents, like so many before them,

aren't after therapy - where you have to work on your own s__t.

They want a wizard who can change reality for them,

and maybe change you for someone who wants to call your mom's husband "dad". Good luck with it all.

Ok_Conversation9750 − NTA. That doesn’t sound like therapy - it sounds like torture!

Like they will keep repeating the lies until you agree with them.

If they think they’re wasting time and money, they’re right, but it’s their own fault.

Koralmarai − You're not the one wasting time, they are.

They don't want therapy, they don't want to understand where you're coming from,

they want to force you to comply to their wishes so they can live out their dream of a happy family. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA. They didn't want therapy or else have a very fundamental misunderstanding of how therapy works.

They want the therapist to back up that you are in the wrong and then 'fix' you into what they want you to be.

That isn't how therapy works.

You told a truth that they don't like and the therapist tried to do what therapists do,

which is to be a neutral 3rd party to get them to see that your side of things is a valid view.

These users criticized the therapist for letting the situation go on too long

Sweetcilantro − nta It took multiple sessions to notice you weren't paying attention anymore after the incident.

I think that shows where their attention lies.

Organic-Meeting734 − This therapist has allowed this to continue too long.

No one is going to charge your mother's perspective. Shame on her for rewriting history and accusing you of lying!

PS as a therapist, I would want to know why they are fixated on this "lie" instead of working to improve the relationship. NTA

EducationalRoyal3880 − NTA. Btw the therapist sees through all of their BS. Everything. I see through it.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. You seem like a nice girl,

I hope you have some lovely relatives that you can be close to.

These Redditors explained that forcing a stepparent role never works and must grow naturally

Scenarioing − "Mom brought up how we'd have a man around the house again (my dad died)

and how good it would be for her to have a husband and for me to have a dad

and he said he couldn't wait to be my dad and he always wanted to be a dad.

He said he already had plans for us for Father's Day."

Dad replacement talk never works. The extent to which a parental step becomes actually parent-like to a child,

if ever, arises only naturally from interaction over time. Not from announcements.

Which you know obviously. Did the therapist educate them on what they should have obviously known?

"he had a temper tantrum and said I was supposed to be with him on Father's Day

and not spending the day alone and he didn't sign up to be nothing to me. "

He is nothing now. Which arose naturally from his interactions with you.

Obviously, Mom and nothing saw therapy as a method to convince you to do their bidding.

NTA What is the therapist saying about all of this?

Inner-Nothing7779 − NTA I'm a stepdad. I love my stepdaughters as if they were my own children.

They're great girls and are growing into amazing young women. I know they love me. They respect me.

They respect my opinions and things, and I respect theirs. They see me as "a" dad. But I'm not Dad.

The relationship I have with them grew naturally. I didn't push.

My expectations were always the same. Be respectful, do as your mom and I ask, and treat others the same.

I didn't come into it expecting them to be my daughters and to be invited to all the dad/daughter things, etc.

I never pushed it. That's why we have such a good relationship.

I never pushed for something I wasn't going to be given without work. So often do we see stories like this.

Where mom/dad wants to be a family again and introduces step-mom/dad

and both expect the kids to see the new parent as an equal to the lost parent.

Then, when that inevitably never happens, surprise Pikachu face. OP, you're doing fine.

Your mom is trying to recreate something that was lost.

I cannot imagine the pain of losing your husband/wife, just as I cannot imagine losing a parent at your age.

However, that doesn't mean she's right. She's pushed for something that wasn't ever going to happen.

And now, since it's not, she's lashing out at you.

It's easier in her mind, to paint you the bad guy than it is to accept that what she's trying to recreate isn't going to happen

and it's her fault for pushing. I hope she comes around and apologizes.

You two have lost so much, it would be terrible for you both to lose each other.

This group warned that the behavior is emotional abuse and encouraged planning an escape

KingGuinevere − NTA. Your mother and her husband are horrifically selfish people.

Do you have other family you can reach out to? Paternal grandparents, aunts and uncles?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Parents who try to force your feelings to fit the mold they want are a serious level of emotional abuse.

Just start counting days til your 18th birthday.

Make plans to leave and never, ever look back.

Your mother and her husband do not deserve to be in the same room as you again.

VividChaos − NTA. Your parents are abusive narcissists and it seems like they only want to control you.

Im surprised the therapist is even listening to them. They must not be very good at their job.

With you being a minor, it might be in your best interest to just go along with it until you can get out and away from the abuse.

I hate that you'd have to. Do you have any other family that you could stay with?

Being around your abusers is only going to harm you.

This story resonated because it shows how grief and boundaries collide when adults refuse to listen. Many readers saw the teen’s silence as self-defense, not defiance.

Was disengaging the only option left, or should she have kept pushing back? Where would you draw the line? Share your take below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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