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This Man Ended a Serious Relationship After Learning His Girlfriend Was Drowning in Debt

by Sunny Nguyen
July 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Picture this: you’ve clawed your way to financial freedom, no debts, no stress, just smooth sailing, until your girlfriend drops a $200,000 debt bomb, complete with weekly nail appointments and an overdrawn bank account.

One Reddit user faced this wallet-shaking reality and chose to walk away, sparking a debate hotter than a maxed-out credit card. Was he cold-hearted for prioritizing his financial peace, or was her money mess a dealbreaker? Dive into the juicy details below!

This 49-year-old Redditor, let’s call him Debt-Free Dan, built a stress-free life, debt-free, business-owning, and thriving in Smalltown USA. His girlfriend, a high-earning mom of five with two kids still at home, seemed like a keeper until he discovered the financial chaos: $200,000 in student loans, credit card balances, medical bills, and a $700 monthly car payment, all while splurging on luxuries.

Despite his feelings, Dan ended the relationship, unwilling to tie his future to her financial anchor. Now, Reddit’s weighing in, and the opinions are flying!

This Man Ended a Serious Relationship After Learning His Girlfriend Was Drowning in Debt

When Love and Money Don’t Add Up – Below’s The original post:

Aitah For Dumping My Girlfriend Because She Has An Enormous Pile Of Debt?

And I’m not talking just a few thousand, we are talking like $200,000. I’ve always been fairly financial savvy…. no vehicle payments, no credit card debt, student loans were paid off years ago, own my own business and enjoy the stress free financial freedom that I have…. Im 49.

I’m in a relationship with a female with 5 kids(only 2 at home), earns 6 figures a year, but just found out she also has 6 figures of student loan debt, somewhere around $50,000 in credit card debt, medical bills, $700 vehicle payment, always overdrawn in her checking, but still gets nails,

lashes, and hair done weekly…yadda yadda. I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at and can’t stand the thought of marrying someone in this kind of financial shape. I do love her, but the stress that would go along with it all just isn’t worth it to me.

Edit: I’m from Smalltown USA and I was today years old when I discovered via the replies that the word “female” was disrespectful and offensive.

Talk about a romance that hit a financial iceberg. Debt-Free Dan’s breakup is a stark reminder that love doesn’t always conquer a six-figure debt load. His girlfriend’s situation, $200,000 in debt despite a six-figure income, raises plenty of red flags, especially since she kept spending on non-essentials while her checking account was in the red.

From her perspective, maybe the debt felt overwhelming but manageable with her income, and Dan’s exit seemed like a lack of commitment. Some Redditors speculated she might be a widow and inherited medical debt, though Dan didn’t mention it. Even if that’s true, her ongoing splurges point to a bigger issue with discipline.

A 2023 study from the National Bureau of Economic Research found that 38% of couples cite financial incompatibility as a top reason for breaking up, especially when one person’s spending habits clash with the other’s goals.

Financial expert Suze Orman puts it bluntly: “Before merging lives, couples must align on money values, debt tolerance included, or risk resentment.” Dan’s girlfriend’s refusal to rein in luxuries while deep in debt signaled a big mismatch with his frugal mindset.

Some Redditors, like DanteRuneclaw, thought a prenup or structured repayment plan could have saved the relationship. Others, like Samsquanch-Sr, shared stories of helping a partner tackle massive debt, but only when both people were committed to change. In Dan’s case, there were no signs she was ready to change.

What’s the Fix?

If Dan had wanted to salvage things, he could have had a tough, honest talk about budgeting and repayment. A prenup to protect his assets might have eased his worries. But with her defensive spending and his clear boundaries, walking away was the practical choice.

Readers, was Dan right to cut ties over her debt disaster, or should he have given love a chance to fix it?

Reddit’s serving up takes spicier than a late payment fee!

Here's the input from the Reddit crowd:

Redditors had strong opinions about Debt-Free Dan’s decision, and most thought he was right to walk away:

stroppo − NTA, you def shouldn't go into a serious relationship w/somebody who is already drowning in debt.

ProfPlumDidIt − NTA. It might be different if she wasn't still pissing away money on unnecessary luxuries and was diligently working to pay off her debt, but her habits mean she hasn't even stopped accumulating debt much less started dealing with it.

Don't tie yourself to her anchor because she'd only sink you with her.

Longjumping-Many4082 − NTA. This is not a 'oh, I had a setback' debt. This is 'I don't take responsibility for my actions' level of debt. This is 'I need to marry a rich guy' debt. Seems like you fit the job description.

Sorry you feel guilty, but the disparity on financial outlook and responsibilities alone would doom this relationship from the very beginning.

[Edit: with the knowledge that the gf is a widow, there are circumstances where they could've incurred considerable medical debt, which if true, would drastically alter my opinion of the financial situation. ***This would have been info OP should have included up front***.

So OP, since you painted a pretty bad picture, I'm of the opinion ESH.

Other Redditors agreed, saying it was smart to leave rather than get trapped in a financial nightmare:

Caseypenn11 − NTA- this was the responsible thing to do.

MiaFlame2004 − damn man i feel u, 200k is INSANE, like i get lovin somebody but debt like that?? nah i’d run too tbh, specially if she still doin her nails n hair every week??

Dishtothefish − NTA you're just not financially compatible. Best to leave now.

Others pointed out how deeply incompatible their money habits seemed—and raised questions about whether she was even trying to fix the problem:

Free-Place-3930 − NTA. You are very incompatible. Very. Don’t tie yourself and sink yourself with her.

DanteRuneclaw − A lot of details missing here. Is she up to date on her payments and making gradual progress in paying down the debt? Was the credit card debt the result of an emergency or just living beyond her means?

Is she overdrawing her checking account because she's just not good at moving the money around from other accounts to the one she's spending off of, or is she living paycheck to paycheck while paying for luxuries?

I'd be hesitant to get married, at least without a prenup that kept our finances separate, but if she's able to cover her expenses and isn't going deeper into debt, I wouldn't necessarily nope out of the relationship. Is not getting married a deal breaker for you at this stage in life?

If so, and you love her, it might be worth talking to a lawyer about how you could proceed down that path while still protecting your own financial interests.

Some commenters felt walking away was the smart move, while others shared stories of turning big debt around, but only with serious commitment and honesty:

Fit_General7058 − Nta After working your way out of debt, why would you marry someone in so much debt, half of which, at least, you would inherit at 49 years old. I certainly wouldn't.

Samsquanch-Sr − NTA, but depending on the relationship, it can be fixable. My wife was in a similar amount of debt when we met (over $200K, mostly student loans) and was bad with credit cards...

BUT she knew it was a problem and let me fix it all for her by putting her on a strict budget and taking control of her payment plans and such. It took five or six years, but she's now debt free, has a good job and is much happier.

So with the right person, and the right attitude, it's fixable, but if she's in denial, doesn't think it's a big problem and doesn't want help (the hair and nails comment makes me wonder) you're probably better off leaving her to grow up first.

Are these Redditors dishing money wisdom or just balancing the books? You decide!

Debt-Free Dan’s breakup story is a tough one. Imagine loving someone but knowing their huge $200,000 debt could ruin the stable life you worked so hard to build. Was he wrong to leave her, or was he right to protect his own future?

Sometimes love alone isn’t enough when someone’s spending habits don’t change. This story is a reminder: before getting serious with a partner, talk openly about money, debts, and goals. If you don’t, you might end up having to choose between your heart and your peace of mind.

How would you handle it? Share your thoughts below!

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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