Imagine vibing with someone over a love of pigeons—yes, pigeons—only to show up to the date and find them acting like they just got grounded.
That’s exactly what happened to one Redditor, a 5’8”, 162-pound woman, who thought she was in for a quirky, bird-loving meetup. Instead, her date ghosted mid-coffee and later texted her that she should’ve warned him about her weight.
Reddit lit up faster than a summer sidewalk in July, with users split on one question: was she wrong not to disclose her size, or is this guy just a walking red flag?
This story’s got more twists than a downtown pigeon chaset! Here’s the original Reddit post:
The woman, who posted candidly about the experience on Reddit, had matched with her date after sharing a midriff-up, unfiltered photo featuring a pet pigeon. Nothing airbrushed, nothing posed—just a casual moment with a bird perched on her shoulder.
They chatted. Laughed. Bonded over birds.
But when they met in person, the vibe died fast. He was quiet, cold, distracted. She thought maybe he was nervous… until his text landed a few hours later:
“You should’ve let me know you’re a big girl. I felt put on the spot.”
Ouch.
Let’s get this straight: at 5’8” and 162 pounds, this Redditor is solidly within a healthy BMI range (around 24.6, according to CDC guidelines). Her picture? A sweatered, casual photo. No angles. No filters. Just her.
So where exactly is the “deception”?
Dating expert and body image advocate Virgie Tovar puts it bluntly:
“Assuming someone’s size defines their worth is a lazy shortcut that harms everyone.”
Her date could’ve communicated preferences before they met—plenty of people do. But instead, he waited until after the fact to shame her for not preemptively justifying her body.
A 2023 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 68% of dating app users feel pressure to present an “ideal” body. But who decides what’s ideal?
The Redditor shared a real photo, a real moment, and her real interests. What more do we ask for from someone online?
Reddit’s serving up takes zingier than a flock of startled pigeons!
Reddit is loudly on her side:
Reddit came out swinging in defense of the OP:
Most Redditors sided with OP, saying she did nothing wrong.
So where’s the line between transparency and body-shaming?
Our Redditor came as she was—real, warm, and unfiltered. She didn’t mislead. She didn’t lie. And yet, she still ended up on the receiving end of a date’s discomfort masquerading as “honesty.”
Dating is messy. But expecting people to pre-apologize for their appearance? That’s not clarity—it’s cruelty.
If your first instinct after a date is to tell someone how their body made you uncomfortable, maybe the issue isn’t them. Maybe it’s the mirror.
So what do you think? Should people feel pressured to “warn” dates about their weight? Or was this guy just another walking ick? Drop your thoughts in the comments—we want to hear your take.
