This Woman Hid Her Kid From Her Boyfriend - Is She The Villain Or Just Scared?
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This Woman Hid Her Kid From Her Boyfriend – Is She the Villain or Just Scared?

Charles Butler by Charles Butler
July 4, 2025
in Blog
Reading Time: 12 mins read
This Woman Hid Her Kid From Her Boyfriend - Is She the Villain or Just Scared?

Falling for someone new can feel like magic, the laughter, the chemistry, the hope. But what if you’re hiding something big, not out of malice, but fear? That’s the dilemma one 20-year-old Redditor faced.

   
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Let’s call her Mia. Six dates in, she and her boyfriend were getting serious. He told her how happy she made him. But Mia kept one major truth to herself: she’s a mom. Every time the past came up, she dodged it, even joked she’d never dated before.

Then he found out about her child through a relative’s Facebook post. Feeling blindsided, he ended the relationship.

This Woman Hid Her Kid From Her Boyfriend - Is She the Villain or Just Scared?

Was she wrong for keeping it quiet, or just scared to lose something good?

Aita For Not Telling My Boyfriend About My Kid?

I (F20) met him (M20) through online dating. On the second date, he asked me to be his girlfriend. We went on roughly 6 dates over the course of 2-3 weeks. The thing is, I am too nervous to tell him about a kid I have previously in fear of losing him.

Every time past relationships is brought up in our conversations, I always switch the topic to relieve the pressure. Today, my bf found out about my kid through my relative’s social media account. He broke up with me and is obviously hurt.

I think he was hurt because this was the first real relationship he ever had and he expressed that to me multiple times. He would always let me know how happy he was around me. Was I the a**hole in waiting until the right time to tell him due to nervousness? Did I “lie” to him?

Edit: whenever past experiences were brought up, I would tease him about previously having a gf before. When he asks if I have experience with a relationship, I said no jokingly, he took it literally and asked me why did I say I had no experience when confronting me. Edit 2: I realized my mistake. i shouldn’t have hid it from him.

What makes it worse is this fact that I did not mention yet. When he called me about this, he asked if I had anything to tell him that I didn’t before, I panicked and responded no. That was when he revealed how he found my kid on a relative’s facebook account.

He wished me a good life then I hung up out of shame.

When Secrets Sabotage Love

This one hits like a gut-punch. Mia’s story feels like a modern-day rom-com where everything clicks, until a secret turns the plot. She was falling fast for someone who adored her, but fear held her back from revealing something huge: she’s a mom. And when he found out through a relative’s Facebook post? Oof. The romance unraveled in seconds.

Was it a betrayal, or just human fear? That’s the messy part.

Why Her Silence Hurt – But Wasn’t Cruel

Mia’s fear is something a lot of people can relate to. Early in a relationship, there’s pressure to be perfect, to not mess up the connection. So when past relationships or serious life stuff came up, she joked, dodged, and kept quiet. She wasn’t trying to deceive him — she was scared of losing something that finally felt good.

But from his side? The pain is real. He believed he was getting to know someone deeply, only to find out through social media that she had a child. And when he asked her directly if there was anything she hadn’t told him, she still said no. That moment felt like the final blow.

The Bigger Picture: Timing, Trust, and Fear

According to a 2022 YouGov survey, 68% of Americans believe major life details, like having a child, should be shared within the first month of dating. And relationship expert Susan Winter puts it bluntly: “Honesty builds trust, but timing matters, early disclosure prevents heartbreak.”

Mia’s delay crossed that invisible line. Her silence didn’t come from cruelty, but it still chipped away at the foundation of trust. And once that’s cracked, especially in a brand-new relationship, it’s hard to rebuild.

Could This Have Ended Differently?

Absolutely. A gentle, honest moment — maybe something like, “There’s something I want you to know. I’m a mom, and I hope we can talk about it,” — could’ve changed the story. And for her boyfriend, responding with a calm conversation instead of a quick breakup might have offered both clarity and closure.

Both of them are young. Both were probably scared. But honesty, even when it’s scary, might have saved them from a much harder kind of hurt.

Would you have told the truth earlier? Or waited like Mia did? Let us know what you’d do.

Reddit’s serving tea hotter than a summer barbecue!

These are the responses from Reddit users:

One Redditor didn’t hold back, saying Mia was firmly in the wrong, not just for hiding the truth, but for missing the bigger picture.

[Reddit User] − YTA - 2 reasons 1. You ex deserved to know so he could make a proper decision 2. Why would you care if you lost him if he wanted to nothing to do with your kid. Kid comes first.

Another commenter, ItsJamieDodgr, questioned how Mia could even consider hiding something so significant.

ItsJamieDodgr − YTA having a kid is a huge deal how can u try hide that from someone???

Redditor raq didn’t mince words, calling it a “first date conversation” and emphasizing how serious it is. From their point of view, waiting weeks to disclose something so major crossed the line, making Mia firmly the one at fault.

_raq_ − This a first date conversation. And a pretty big deal. YTA.

One commenter didn’t mince words, saying Mia crossed a line. To them, hiding a child isn’t just nervousness, it’s a serious breach of trust. If she feared he’d leave after finding out, that was all the more reason to tell him upfront.

They also questioned her judgment, pointing out that being a parent means making thoughtful, honest choices from the start.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Seriously? I think he was hurt because this was the first real relationship he ever had No, he's hurt because this is something you should've told him before you agreed to a commitment. As it is, now he has no way of knowing what else you're hiding.

And frankly, you're lucky if he's *just* upset about the lie of omission - you say you didn't tell him because you were afraid he wouldn't want to be with you if he knew about your child,

but what do you think it benefits you *or* your kid to be in a relationship with someone who isn't open to being a parental figure? I said no jokingly, he took it literally How was he *supposed* to take it?

Do you *want* him to need to pause and ask whether you're being sincere before *everything* you say? C'mon. You're (allegedly) a parent. Be more sensible than this.

Another commenter didn’t hold back, calling this a major betrayal. In their eyes, Mia didn’t just keep quiet, she deliberately lied, even when directly asked.

They argued that honesty is non-negotiable in a relationship, and if she thinks this kind of deception is small, she’s not ready for something real. In their words, her ex dodged a bullet the size of a train.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Big time. If you think that deceiving your partner isn't a big deal then you will stay single and for very good reason. What equally massive information would you be okay with a partner hiding from you? Do better.

ETA based on your edit: You quite literally LIED TO HIS FACE and now you call it 'joking'? What is wrong with you? Train-sized bullet dodged by that guy. Yikes.

Redditor km8907 pointed out that the relationship may have been rushed from the start. Becoming boyfriend and girlfriend on the second date raised red flags for them, and they suggested that the secrecy only sped up what was already bound to unravel.

km8907 − YTA but this relationship sounded doomed from the start to be honest. Bf/gf on the second date? Come on...

Redditor diskebbin pointed out that honesty isn’t optional when you’re building a relationship.

diskebbin − YTA. What were you planning on doing if you found out he wouldn’t be interested in dating someone with kids? He has to fit into your world as much as you fit into his. You can’t build a solid relationship by omitting important facts.

Redditor Walrus_Outside didn’t sugarcoat it. They argued that even if Mia didn’t technically lie, hiding her child was still a serious breach of trust.

Walrus_Outside − YTA, you didn't 'lie' but you conveniently covered and hid the truth. You started your relationship out by hiding your child, which is shameful, IMHO.

I wouldn't hide my child, or not acknowledge it with my partner, because that comes across as you being very dishonest and if you're not willing to tell the truth to your partner, you're not a partner worth having. Please do some self reflection on this one, my dude. YTA. *edited for grammar, twice.

PedestrianD zeroed in on one confusing moment: why Mia “jokingly” denied having relationship experience.

PedestrianD − YTA why did you 'jokingly' say no?

MikailSardis made their stance crystal clear: Mia should’ve mentioned her child by the second date at the latest. Once things got serious, keeping that part of her life hidden felt less like nervousness and more like a breach of trust.

MikailSardis − YTA. Existing children are first or at most second date discussion topics. Certainly once the relationship became exclusive it should have been priority to bring up.

Mia’s story is more than a dating misstep, it’s a wake-up call.

Hiding a child isn’t just a small omission; it reshapes the entire foundation of a relationship. Even if fear drove her silence, trust doesn’t thrive in shadows. And when the truth finally came out, it didn’t just break her boyfriend’s heart, it shattered any hope of building something real.

This isn’t about whether she loved her child or her boyfriend more. It’s about accountability. If you’re not ready to be honest about the most defining parts of your life, you’re not ready to ask someone to be part of it. Everyone deserves the right to make informed choices, especially when it comes to love, family, and future. Mia didn’t just risk a relationship; she risked someone’s trust in love itself.

So if you’re holding back a truth that could redefine a relationship, ask yourself: would you rather be chosen for who you are, or for who you pretend to be?

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

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